Good-Bye and Thank You Part I
Good-bye and Thank You
by
Lady MoonHawke
Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
-Bette Midler, Wind Beneath My Wings
Aurora raced across the battlefield, dodging arrows, enemies and the bodies of the dead and dying. She spied a riderless horse, apparently unhurt, and vaulted into it's saddle. She urged the horse in the direction she had been running, and prayed that each moment that passed would not make her too late. In the distance, she spied the flag of the man she was searching for, and angled in that direction.
Starlight was taking reports when Aurora raced her heaving horse into the temporary base camp and threw herself down. She waded past other officers as they drew back in respect. No other person here was equal to her in rank with the exception of their leader, and as his chatelaine, she had instant access to him at any hour. Her cloak flapped about her, revealing glimpses of armor enameled to resemble fire, and showing signs of serious use in its dents and scrapes. She cried out as she grew close to the center of the knot of men.
"My Lord!"
Starlight wheeled in her direction. "Are you all right?" he asked with a great deal of concern. He loved her deeply, and this was by far the largest battle she had ever led troops into. He had been constantly concerned that he had given her more than she could handle, and he knew that she would rather die out there on the field than let him down.
"I'm fine. My troop met less resistance than we expected, and out losses are minimal. They're moving in from the flank to harass the center of that group that's left. But that's not why I'm here."
"Then what is wrong?" he interrupted tersely. "I'm trying to win back this ridiculous patch of dirt, you know."
"Krysten contacted me. My father is dying, and he's asking for me."
Starlight's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. "Come in here," he said, ushering her into a tent. He dropped the flap and gathered her close. "I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't mean to snap. What's wrong with your father?"
"Krysten said it's a severe case of pneumonia. He doesn't have much time left. Please, I have to go soon." She pulled back from his embrace. "I might have to be there a while getting things straightened out. But as soon as everything's back on track, I'll be able to come back."
"Okay. You wait right here a minute, and I'll get someone to cover your troops." He stuck his head out of the tent a moment, speaking with the officers gathered around. Then he came back over to her. "I told them you're heading back to the castle to check on Adryanna. With any luck, by the time we finish here and they celebrate half the night drinking and wenching, they won't even think to ask where you are. Get that cloak off. You don't need to show up at your father's deathbed covered in blood and grime. Do you want to change out of the armor too?"
"No. I took some kind of hit on my shoulder that messed with the buckles. I'll get Will to fix it. He'd love an opportunity to play with some real honest to God metal instead of that alloy stuff. Tell Adryanna I'll be back as soon as I can. With any luck, she won't even remember I was gone at all." She took the fresh cape from him and struggled with it as he prepared the spell that would hurdle her forward to her own place in time. _That blow to my shoulder must have been worse than I thought. I'll have to get it looked at there_ she thought.
"Are you ready?" asked Starlight, looking back over his shoulder.
"As ready as I'm going to be," she answered.
"Let's go out back and do this. More room." He held the tent flap open for her. "Where is he exactly?" he asked as they made their way through the tall grass to the back of the tent.
"United Earth Star Command Medical Center. It's at the Academy in Mojave, California. Room 114." She stood motionless as he began the incantation, watching the portal form before her. It was the same thing she had seen five years ago, that had set her on this path through history where she could live according to her own rules. It shimmered into solidity.
"Okay. You have two minutes before it collapses," Starlight said, slightly out of breath. Fighting hand to hand all day with last minute magic thrown in was no piece of cake.
Aurora hugged him fiercely. I'll let you know when I'm ready to come home," she said. She raised herself up on tiptoe and kissed him lingeringly. "I love you."
"I love you too, Dark Angel. Be careful."
Aurora stepped through the shimmering portal, and vanished.
The SilverHawks had gathered in their commander's hospital room again, watching in silence as his chest rose and fell, and when exhausted of watching that, stared at the green lines that traced out his last hours one by one. Bluegrass cleared his throat and addressed Krysten. "Tell us again what Aurora said."
"She said, 'I'll see what I can do. It's raining arrows right now. You'll see me when you see me,' and then I lost contact with her." She had repeated these words over and over since contacting Aurora, and was far beyond irritated to numb. She sat next to the bed, holding the commander's hand so that he would know he was not alone, even while unconscious. She started to feel a tell-tale prickle at the back of her neck, and turned toward the blank wall, staring hard at it. She was the first to detect the shimmering quality it seemed to take on. "Look," she said, pointing with her free hand.
The shimmering was becoming more pronounced, and everyone was watching as a caped and hooded figure stepped from beyond time. The figure pulled back the hood, and everyone gasped. Aurora was once again among them. She walked quickly toward the bed, smiling at her friends in turn. Her face froze when she looked at Jonathan, however. She had still not forgiven him for taking advantage of Krysten in an attempt to strike back at her for leaving. She drew closer to the side of the bed, and smiled sadly at her best friend. "Do you mind if I borrow that a minute?" she asked, fluidly gesturing to the chair. "It's been a long day."
Krysten jumped up quickly. "Help yourself. We'll just wait outside," she said, and herded everyone toward the door.
"But I want to speak to her privately," Aurora heard Jonathan complain as the door closed. She could hear Michael, Will and Krysten berate him, and turned to her father. He was so very pale and still. Only the soft beeping of the machines told Aurora she was not too late. She took his hand gently. "Daddy?" she whispered.
His eyelids fluttered, then opened. "Aurora? 'S that you?" he rasped.
Aurora had forgotten how gravelly his voice was. Now there was a chilling gurgle in it as well. "Yes, Daddy. I came as soon as I heard."
"Good. Wanted to see you...One last...time..." he drifted back to sleep, but the machines continued their soft, reassuring chorus.
Aurora sat with him until she was sure he would not wake again soon, and the slipped out into the hall. Her teammates crowded around her, and she leaned against the wall in exhaustion. It was then that the nagging feeling in her shoulder turned white-hot with pain, and she slumped to the floor.
Emily knelt beside her, expertly pulling back the cape and Aurora's long black hair, and revealed three inches of metal rod embedded in her shoulder. Will ran to the nearest station to call for a doctor as Krysten fell into a chair, screaming.
Aurora awoke in a hospital bed, Krysten hovering above her. "What happened?" she asked, reaching for the ubiquitous glass of water on the side table.
Krysten refilled it for her when she drained it. "You took something in the shoulder, and when you leaned against the wall, it went farther in. The doctor thinks you'll be fine in a few days. From what he could tell, most of the power of the thing got spent getting through your armor. It only scratched the bone rather than fracturing it. You're pretty lucky, he said."
"If I'd been lucky, it would have missed. But I suppose this is better than a cast," she said, feeling the bulky bandage under the requisite hospital gown. "Can you find me something else to wear? I feel a little under-dressed in the flour sack."
Krysten smiled. "You sound better already." She hugged Aurora. "It's good to have you back." She turned and went out the door.
Krysten had returned with some sweats that labeled Aurora "Property of SilverHawks Academy," and she really couldn't argue right now. She had moved herself forcibly to her father's room, and curled up in a semi-comfortable chair, dozing on and off.
"Aurora?"
She came fully awake in the chair, jumping up and rushing to his side. She grasped his hand. "I'm here, Daddy. What do you need?"
"Just wanted to be sure I wasn't dreaming again." He looked at her critically. "You're too pale. Is the ozone layer so thick where you were that you don't get any sun?" he asked gruffly. It was the closest he ever came to mentioning her recent excursion in the distant past.
"No. Just too busy playing Lady of the Castle. It's a good job if you can get it." she replied, half-heartedly defending herself. It didn't matter now if he thought she was wrong. There was no time to waste rehashing what would not change.
He reached up to touch her face. "Aurora. Don't joke with me anymore. You had a real love. Don't waste any more time you have left pursuing my hollow dream. I would go back and turn the job down if I could. Don't waste your life up there. It's not worth it." He fell back on the pillow, almost exhausted. "It will come again, Aurora. Love. Don't run from it again. Let it in, and you will have everything you ever wanted."
"Shhh, Daddy. This is no way to talk. Let me worry about my problems, you just worry about getting stronger."
"Aurora, don't be a fool. I'm not going to get stronger anytime before this poor, old body gives out on me. I'd like to see your mother again, but I'm not sure if she'll come."
"I'm sure she's on the way. You rest a bit and I'll go check on her." She put his hand down gently and slipped out the door.
Once out in the hall, the others gathered around her, all asking at once about the commander,
"No. He's still hanging in there," Aurora said, trying to shut out the individual voices. "He's waiting for my mother. Does anyone know if she's on her way?"
There was another cacophony of voices and whistles, this time with a negative tone.
"All right, then. I'm going to make some calls and try to track her down." The others looked at her as though they expected some direction. Aurora sighed. "Take shifts sitting with him if you're inclined. I'll be back when I know something." She turned and headed for the nurses' station, Krysten following in her wake.
"I'm not sure what you think you can do for me now, Krys," Aurora said on the way to the phone the nurse had pointed out. "Maybe it would be better if you stayed with my father. He's the one lying in there dying, and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it."
"That's exactly why I'm here with you instead of with the others. You need someone as much as your father, if not more. He's at peace with this, and you're still fighting it."
"I'm still fighting? Damn right I'm fighting. That's all I know how to do when things go against me. I'm not going to sit around and say 'How sad, my father is dying and I'll never see him again.' I'm not going to let him go without putting all I have into stopping it."
"'Do not go gentle into that goodnight. Rage, rage against the dying of the light,'" Krysten quoted.
"Dylan Thomas or not, I'm not giving up. Now where is that phone. My father wants to see my mother, I'm going to make it happen. Now where is that damned phone?"
Krysten indicated an alcove not far from where they were, and Aurora marched over and got to work. Her first call was to her mother's home in Montana, where her mother's voice on the answering machine assured her that if she left her name and a brief message, her call would be returned as soon as possible. "No time for that," Aurora muttered as she pressed the hook switch. She dialed again, this time her mother's office. Carolyn's executive secretary answered.
"Carolyn Stargazer's office. How may I help you?"
"Linda? This is Aurora," she said, adding, "her daughter."
"I remember you, Aurora. What can I do for you?" Linda asked.
"Is she in? There's something I have to tell her," Aurora said, hoping she didn't sound too desperate.
"No, I'm afraid not, Hon', She left early this morning, and only told me she was going to Mojave. Can I give her a message when she calls in?"
"No. I'm in Mojave, so I imagine I'll run into her here. Thanks, Linda."
"I wish I could have been more help," Linda said.
"You told me what I need to know. It's more than enough."
"Okay, dear. Have a nice day." Linda hung up.
"Yeah, sure," Aurora said to the dead receiver. "My father is dying, and I should have a nice day."
Krysten pulled the phone from Aurora's hand and hung it up. "Well?" she asked.
Her secretary says she's on her way out here to California. I can only guess she's coming here since Linda didn't have any other information. Let's get back and see if anything has changed."
As they approached the room, Aurora could see the crew all standing in the hall. She moved past them to the door without a word, and was about to open it when she felt someone grab her arm. She looked back to see Jonathan holding her. _He has a lot of guts to even touch me after the crap he's pulled,_ she thought to herself. She tried to yank her arm out of his grasp, and much to her surprise, failed. He drew her gently but firmly from the door.
"The doctors are in with him," he said.
"So I should be in there talking about what they're going to try next," she retorted, pulling again on her arm.
"Aurora, he signed a living will. They're not going to do anything but keep him comfortable and help him hold on until your mother gets here. Is she coming?"
"I think so. Listen, Jonathan, I don't know what made you risk your neck to touch me, but I'm about out of patience, so let go now."
"There's more. They're trying to clear some of the fluid from his lungs, to help him breathe. It's not a pretty sight, and for damn sure, it's not the way you want to remember your father. I made the mistake of watching once, and it about turned my stomach. Now I know you think you're tougher than iron, but you don't need to see him like this, and he doesn't need to see you run from the room trying not to puke." He sighed. "I'm just trying to help you. He's like a father to me, and to Krysten and to Michael. All we want to do is help you both get through this. You have to accept that this is what he wants. Quit thinking about how badly you hurt, and start thinking about him." He dragged her over to a chair. "Now sit down and relax. The doctor's will be willing to talk to you after the procedure. They know you're here."
Aurora was shocked. Jonathan had risked great bodily injury, if not his life, to get through to her, and that, Aurora could respect. She hated to admit it, but he was probably right. She didn't want to see how the physicians were trying to remove anything from her father. She slumped back in the chair, leaned her head against the wall, and closed her eyes.
She startled awake when someone cleared their throat right in front of her. She opened her eyes and saw a man in a white lab coat standing in front of her. She scooted more upright and rubbed her eyes.
"I understand you are Commander Stargazer's daughter?" he asked.
"Yes, I am . Can you tell me how he is?" she asked.
The doctor crouched down to bring himself down to her level. "Your father is very ill, and there is really very little we can do. You should be aware that he has a living will on file, and we are bound to respect that." Aurora nodded. "We can take certain measures as long as he approves them, but once he slips into a coma, all we can do is turn off the machines and wait. I understand that you've been away for some time, so this must a terrible shock." He straightened up. "I hate to tell you this, but there isn't too much time left. If there's anything we can do for you, just ask." He went down the hall to confer with the nurses.
Aurora dropped her head into her hands, fighting to hold back tears She felt a warm hand on her back, and resisted the urge to see who it was. Right now, she relished the support more than she cared from whom it came. All of her teammates loved her father as she did, and their sympathy made it possible to get through this. She reached back and covered the hand with her own, giving back reassurance.
Aurora had her shuddering breath almost under control when she saw a pair of shiny black boots on the floor in front of her. She looked up to see a young man in uniform before her with a packet of papers. "Yes, Private?" she said, reading his rank from his undecorated sleeve.
He held out the bundle of paper. "I have been ordered to deliver these to you and wait for a reply, sir."
Aurora made a face as she stood and took the papers. It had been ages since she had been addressed as 'sir,' back during academy days. She scanned the packet quickly, and looked back at the private. "Are you sure these are for me?" she asked.
"Yes, sir, Commander. What reply shall I take?"
Aurora looked over at the other team member clustered near her. "They are promoting me, effective immediately, to take command of the SilverHawks Program in Limbo." She crumpled the papers in her fist. "My father is DYING in there, and I'm being promoted!" She fell back into the chair and started weeping again.
Jonathan took the papers from her gently and scanned them as well. It was exactly what Aurora said. She was being promoted past him to the post he had dreamed of. But as he looked down at Aurora, he knew that this was her nightmare, and he had to do something to help her. He looked at the private, standing stoically and staring at nothing. "Get out of here," he growled.
"My orders are to wait for a reply to the general staff, sir," he answered.
"Here's their damned reply. She's wailing like a banshee, and this message was the most callous thing I've seen in a long time. NOW LEAVE!"
The private scrambled away down the hall, and Aurora looked up at Jonathan. He bent down near her. "Do you need anything?" he asked softly.
She stood up. "No, Jon. I'll be okay. Thank you." She headed back toward her father's door when a voice down the hall called her name. She turned and saw a miracle. Her mother was rushing toward them. Aurora broke from the others and ran to her.
Carolyn embraced her daughter, stroking her hair and murmuring. "I know, honey. I know it's been hard on you, but I'm here now. I'll take care of everything."
"It's too late," Aurora said. "He won't let them do anything to help him."
"I know. There's not much they could do if he wanted it." She held her daughter at arm's length and examined her critically. "You're so pale, Aurora, and much too thin. Are you having trouble eating again?"
"Mom, I cannot believe you are going into this now. What does it matter what I have or have not been doing?"
"It's about the only thing I can do anything about, so answer my question. Are you making yourself sick again or not?"
Aurora sighed. "No. I've been very busy the past few weeks, and haven't had time to eat properly, but I have been eating when the opportunity presents itself. Are you satisfied?"
"Not really, but I suppose it will have to do for now. How is your father?"
"Not too good. He was resting the last time I checked, but the doctors have been with him since. It's getting close, Mom. I'm so scared."
Carolyn pulled her close again. "I know, Honey. I'm scared too, so we'll just have to help each other." She pulled out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes. "I'm going to go in now. Do you have your pager in case I need to reach you quickly? You could go grab a bite to eat in the cafeteria and still get back if I needed you."
"It's in Montana with the rest of my things that were sent back from Colorado. I didn't think it would be too useful 100 light-years from home."
"Well, take mine, then," Carolyn said, unclipping it from her belt. "I'll send your birthdate so you'll know it's me. No one from the office is supposed to contact me until tonight, so it shouldn't get too busy. Keep it close, and go take a break. You need it." Carolyn continued down the hall, and entered the commander's room.
Aurora looked up at the clock, then over at her friends, huddled near the door. "Anyone want dinner?" she asked.
Will's stomach rumbled, and Emily laughed. I'll vote with Will. Let's take a break. The gang walked down the hall, and enveloped Aurora as they passed.
Settled at a table in the cafeteria, Aurora picked listlessly at a salad, and listened as Krysten explained the events leading up to the commander's illness.
"He just wasn't shaking off the bouts of flu and colds and whatnot. And when we finally convinced him to get some tests run, it was double pneumonia, and right away, he said not to tell you, because you had your own life and things to do. It wasn't 'til this morning when the doctors told him that there wasn't much time left that he said he really wanted to see you one last time. I don't think he was even aware that I could contact you. It was just a wishful thinking kind of thing, but he seemed to get some strength out of it, at least enough to hold on for your mom. " She paused to take a bite of french fry. "So now what do we do?" she asked.
"I guess we wait to get paged, for now. Maybe the hospital will get attacked in the meantime and we can save it from certain destruction." They both laughed.
Aurora stopped laughing abruptly when she heard a high-pitched chirping. She reached for the pager and checked the small screen. She looked up at the others, her eyes full of fear. Will came over and helped her up. “Come on. You only have to be strong a little longer.” The team left the cafeteria quickly and quietly.
The doctor met her in the hall outside the room. “It won’t be much longer now. His lungs are filling again, and he won’t let us clear them. He’s asked for a lethal dose of sodium pentothal, and according to the law, we must provide it. However, we cannot administer it, so someone who is with him will have to do it.”
Aurora looked pale and stricken, but Jonathan spoke up. “I’ll do it. What do I have to do?”
“There’s a joint in the IV line for injections. All you have to do is insert it and push the plunger.” He looked over at Aurora. “It will be painless, just like drifting off to sleep. He’s in more pain right now than this could possibly cause, so in a way, it is a mercy.” He looked back over at Jonathan. “Are you sure you can do this?” he asked.
“Yes,” he replied through clenched jaws.
“Then I should give this to you.” He handed Jonathan a capped syringe half-filled with cloudy liquid. “I’m really sorry, Miss Stargazer. I wish there was something more we could do.”
Aurora smiled wanly. “I know. Thank you for doing what you did. I understand about the limits he put on you.”
“Thank you, Miss Stargazer. Not everyone does. I’ll let you go now.” He walked away toward the nurses' station.
Aurora entered the room, her friends following behind. Carolyn was seated at the bedside, holding Edward’s hand. She looked at them as they stood uneasily around the bed. “Edward wants to say a few words to each of you, and he asks that you not ‘weep and wail’ until it is over. He would also like for you to save any speeches for another time, as he doesn’t feel there is time for everyone to ‘make a two hour address he won’t remember anyway.’ Okay, Edward, the floor is yours.”
The commander angled his bed upright a little more. “First,” he said, his voice more gravelly than any of them could remember, “who has the needle?”
Jonathan held it out. “I do, sir,” he said.
“Good man. I knew it would be you, Lieutenant. I could always count on you to follow an order whether you agreed with it or not. I know you had some trouble in the past, and I’m glad to be able to say you have come out of it much better than you went in. Keep going the way you are, and you can’t fail.
“Sergeants, you kept the station running with baling wire and bubblegum when you had to. I always appreciated the effort you went to to keep us up and running. I’m very proud to have served with you.
“‘Kid, you came to our service from a different world, and tolerated the various peculiarities of a group of humans with an un-earthly tolerance, no pun intended. Your constant curiosity kept me feeling young, and I am indebted to you for that.
“Krysten, you were a ray of sunshine in the dark, and you gave me a chance to redeem myself for not being a better father to my own children. I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to do a better job by you than I did, but for what it’s worth, what you went through has made you a stronger person. Use that strength and think of me.
“Colonel, she is your job now. Care for her like you care for everything that is your responsibility, and you will always have happiness. I envy you that, even for this short time.
“Aurora, I told you earlier what I expect you to do. Don’t forget it, and don’t forget that I love you.
“I’m sorry Carolyn. I should have told them ‘no, I came up with the idea, you implement it.’ I wasted all these years away from you and Aurora and Amy. She deserved so much better, and I can’t help feeling responsible. Maybe I’ll have a chance to ask her forgiveness.” He looked over at Jonathan. “I’m ready. Go ahead.”
Jonathan took a deep breath and carefully uncapped the syringe. He carefully placed the needle into the tubing and pressed the plunger down fully. “Good-bye, sir,” he said, putting the used syringe into the special receptacle.
Everyone watched silently as the commander’s eyes slipped shut, and his breathing became slow and irregular. The machinery monitoring his heart began to falter, and as it began its high-pitched keen to alert personnel, his hand slipped lifelessly from Carolyn’s. She reached over to shut off the machine, and Krysten started to wail. Michael gathered her close and stroked her hair, fighting to hold back tears himself.
Aurora started to feel the walls close in, and fought the urge to run. She walked over to her mother, and wrapped her arms around her. “I have to get out of here,” she whispered. Carolyn nodded and stroked her cheek. Aurora straightened up and went out the door. She strode down the hall, headed for the exterior door. She burst through it and stood in the cooling desert night. She wrapped her arms around herself and breathed deeply, trying to will away the urge to cry, vomit or shriek. She heard the doors open behind her, but didn’t move. Arms slipped around her waist from behind, and she fought the desire to see who was there. Her breath started to hitch in her chest as the tears came, and a voice whispered in her ear, “Shhhhh...It’ll be okay. Just let go.” She leaned her head back and let the tears fall, crying out her grief to the heavens.
*THE END*
SilverHawks, Narnia characters, Labyrinth characters, Beauty and the Beast characters and Gargoyles characters are the properties of their respective owners, and are used without permission. These stories are not for sale, and no money is being made from them. Original stories are the property of Lady Moonhawke, as are any original characters. Krysten Barter (AKA Krysten Merino / Skyedansuer) is the property of Lady Razorsharp, and is used with permission.
Send comments to Lady MoonHawke
Back to the Shadowspace
Back to the Silverhawks Fanfiction
Back to Good-Bye and Thank You