Kiss the Pain Away

By
Chajo and Lady MoonHawke


It was the night of the Gala when Will approached Zan. She was sitting at one of the tables, relaxing. She had seen the altercation between him and his sister but did not say anything. It wasn’t her place.

“May I join you?” Will asked as he got near the table, his jacket thrown over his shoulder.

“Sure, seat’s not taken” she said indicating the empty chair.

Will smiled and draped his jacket over the back before sitting. “I’ve heard though various sources that there is going to be a Cybernetics research facility opening soon here on New Eden.”

Zan nodded. “Yes. Part of Phoenix Medical. Or rather an new offshoot branch.”

“I’d like to stay and put in my resume for one of the opening positions,” he said, resting his elbows on the table in front of him.

She raised an eyebrow. “What prompted this? It’s not an easy field to work in,” she said as she leaned back, sipping her wine.

“My job is at a stand-still where I work currently. And I’d like to see the research that is being done go to what it was originally intend for. Not the Military projects that it is being put to use for currently.”

“I see. But what about your life on Earth? This would mean giving everything up and moving to another galaxy….” She started to chuckle softly. “Sorry. I forgot you did that once already, going from Earth to Limbo.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I did. This time I’m the one making the choice to move. I can have Emily pack everything up and ship it, then cancel the lease on my apartment.”

“Oh?  Somehow I pictured you two living in the same house. Hardly ever see one of you without the other somewhere about. Even while I was in Limbo, at least what I did see of you guys.” She sipped her wine again. “I tried for the most part to stay quiet.”

He shook his head. “She has her place I have…make that had, my place. We may be twins but we still have different taste in things.” He grimaced slightly as he got a rather nasty twinge from his sister.

“You ok?” she asked leaning forward in her chair.

“Yeah. Just Emily throwing a temper fit.” He reached up and rubbed his temples. “She’s rather upset that I’m staying. Can’t make up her mind. First she wants me to come then she wants me to leave.”  He said with a sigh then running his hands though his hair.  He heard the rustle of cloth as she stood up.

“She’ll come to her senses. Don’t worry about it. You’re welcome to stay here at Huntington as long as you need to or want to.” She paused and patted him on the shoulder. “Give her space and time and I’m sure she’ll come around. And while I would love to stay and chat, unfortunately,  I must be away or else my erstwhile keeper will decide it is his duty to see to my well being.”

“Your Grace.” A deep baritone voice sounded from the side. “It is time you retire. I do not wish to have Lady Kali on my case because you got drunk tonight and will have a hangover in the morning. Excuse me, make that afternoon, when you wake up”

Will looked up and up again as Kit approached on silent feet. His arms were resting at his sides casually and the hilts of his blades could be seen over his shoulders. Even here at the Gala it seemed he went armed.

“Will, have you met Kit? My keeper.” Zan chuckled at the look Kit gave her. “Pardon me, Master Kit Walker, Head of Security and my personal bodyguard.”

Kit looked him over a moment “Mr. Hart.”

Will stood up and held out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Master Walker.”

Kit took the offered hand shook it once then let go. “Indeed.” He then turned to Zan. “Your Grace, do not make me carry you for you know I will do it.”  It was a serious tone yet with a hint of amusement.

“I should make you just for that,” she returned, arms crossed as she looked up at him.

“So be it then.” With that he swiftly moved, bending over and taking her up putting her over his shoulder to carry.

“Aack! Damnit Kit! Put me down!” She slapped her hand across his back as she was thrown over his shoulder. “’Night, Will, we can finish talking tomorrow when I get up.” She waved once then went back to her fussing at Kit, who just ignored it.

Will couldn’t help but laugh at the site. Here she was, the Duchess of the region, being thrown over  someone’s shoulder and carried off by someone that worked for her. “Good night, Zan,” he called before she was completely out the door. Shaking his head he took his jacket and slipped it on before heading out.

He didn’t get more then a few steps before another one of Emily’s ‘Temper Tantrums’ hit him like a bolt out of the blue. He was getting tired of this very fast. Doing something he rarely if ever did, he let his anger at her travel over their shared bond then mentally ‘Slammed the door’ in her face. He knew that if he was physically present she would start a fight. Either verbally or possibly physically, though he rarely fought back on either accounts.

He knew the basic layout of the castle, or at least how to get from the guest suite he and Emily shared to the dining room, the library and the ballroom. With a sigh, he rubbed the back of his neck and started walking. He wasn’t really going anywhere in particular, just staying away from his room long enough for Emily to fall asleep so he would have some peace when he returned. As he walked occasionally a servant would pass him by, stop and ask if he needed anything. He’d just shake his head and murmur a no thanks then walk on.

Somewhere around 3 or 4 am, he made it back to his room. Too tired to even care at the moment, he entered the bedroom and sat down on the edge of it. Shrugging out of his jacket he tossed it over the back of a nearby chair. Kicking his shoes off he just flopped back in the bed. To hell with anything else, he was too tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally just too tired to care. He took just long enough to crawl farther up on the bed before he rolled over and fell asleep.

He never heard Emily look in on him just before she left.


Some time around noon he finally woke up. Crawling out of the bed, he went to the bathroom to shower and change. Once again dressed and feeling better he headed down to the dinning room to see if lunch was being served or if he had missed it.

He paused in the door way looking over the people at the table. The entire RunningHorse Clan was taking up just over half the table. Jon and his wife Saoirse were there, along with their attorney, Anthony Chandler.  Mike, Krys and their kids were there also. So were most of Zan’s fledglings, at a table of their own. Lady Kali was supervising from the end of that table. Apparently he had made it before the meal was served.

A chorus of various greetings meet him as he took a seat in an empty chair. A few minutes after he sat the food was brought and was served. Will looked around again, frowning when he realized several people were missing. “Where’s Aurora, Steven and the kids? And where’s Emily?”

“Commander Landon and family left early this morning. Ms. Hart left before them, saying something about.. I quote, ‘Going home, like some people should’ end quote.” Mac said as he filled Will’s glass.

Will just sighed and reached up to rub his temple with a finger.

"What's going on, Will?" Jon asked.  "You guys never fight."

"You mean they never fight in public," Krys said, simultaneously wiping jelly off little fingers and pointing out silverware.

"I'd rather not talk about it, if no one minds," Will said.

"Sure, Will, whatever you want," Mike said.  "Son, don't dunk your toast in your milk.  It's not polite."

Everyone left him alone after that, respecting his privacy on the matter.

In fact everyone seemed to be pretty quiet this afternoon, except for the RunningHorses, who were all chattering away in another language. One young man was standing off to the side, looking unhappy. When anyone asked him something he replied with either a terse grunt or in monosyllables.

About half way though the meal he looked up, the same as everyone else when there was a commotion at the door.

Zan entered the dining room with a slight limp. She was dressed casually in dark blue jeans and a matching turtleneck sweater. Her hair was pulled up in a top-knot style pony tail and braided, and it still hung down past her waist.

Kit followed after her with a decisively smug look on his face. His hands clasp behind his back.

“I still don’t see why you give me the first match of any sparing session Kit. We both know for a fact that you wipe the floor with me six was to Sunday there after. At least you could give me the satisfaction of the last round and not the first.”

“That is not the point, your Grace. You should learn from the mistakes made. How else will you learn the Way?” he countered.

She found her chair and sat rather gracelessly in it and grumbled. Then snagged an apple out of the bowl and threw it at Kit, fastball style.

He just laughed as he caught it with ease, then saluted her and took a bite.

The children all started to giggle, knowing the pair’s antics already.  The other guest did their best to cover up shocked expression, except for her family , who just laughed. She rubbed a temple and sighed.

“Good afternoon, your Grace” Mac said in greeting as he set a small glass in front of her along with several folded packets. “I see Master Walker decided you had slept in late enough.”

“As usual Mac, your powers of observation are astounding,” she grumbled back, taking the packets and opening them. She dumped them into the glass then took the pitcher of orange juice and filled it. Taking a spoon she stirred the contents together. Looking up at her guest and their expressions, she asked, “What? Never seen a person with a hangover before?”

That broke the tension and everyone found it amusing then went back to eating.

“You’re not the only one, it seems” Mac commented, looking at David. “Need something for the headache?” he asked, offering him some headache powders.

"I'm NOT hung-over," David growled.

"Nope. He's in loooooove." Nathan crowed from down at his end of the table, which got him a slap on the back of his head from his sister, Melissa.

Another round of giggles came from the children’s table. Lady Kali just rapped her hand on the table and they quieted.

David set his cup down, scowling, and stormed out.

Will looked after the angry young man. "With who?"

"Aurora's daughter." Zan replied.

"She's like, 12!" he exclaimed.

"Not exactly."

"She was born in 1989.  I remember telling Aurora she was pregnant.  She looked like someone had just handed her a million dollars."

There were surreptitious glances at Jonathan, but he ignored them in favor of whispering something to Saoirse which made her laugh.

All though this Zan was just sunk down in her chair, munching an apple. Every time she shifted to put her leg over the arm, Kali sent a glare her direction. She sighed again, propping her chin on her fist, listening to the conversations around the table.

"Will, you saw Adryanna last night at the party.  She is definitely not 12," Krys pointed out.  "Anyway, that's neither here nor there."

The group on the end was finishing up. One by one they got up and headed in Zan’s direction. She sat up a little straighter as they approached. They gave her either a hug or a kiss on the cheek in parting. They had to leave today to get back to their own work.

James and Jennie were among the last to depart. “Well, Limbo and the courier service waits for no one. I’ll keep you updated on events. Zan. Take care.”

“All right. Take care out there. And Jennie, be careful. I want to see your kids after they are born.” Zan said with a smile.

"We’ll call you and let you know who won," she replied.

“You do that. I have a pair of pair of breeding Morgans riding on this bet!”

"Try not to annoy Merrill too much,” Jon put in.  “He has his mother's patience, but it's not endless."

Raven just laughed. "Don't worry, I keep things quiet inside the limit. But once outside of it, all's fair game."

"Don't let Aurora ever hear you say that," Saoirse said.  "She seems to have a new pet project, extending the SilverHawks range."

"If it will help the kids out there then I'm all for it. But the adults are always fair game"

"A certain amount of law and order can't hurt," Krys said.  "Even if it's not popular."

"Unless no one was introduced, that is James 'Raven’ RunningHorse. AKA The Ghost of Limbo. He took over from me." Zan pointed out as he waved and left, following after Jennie. "Be glad his twin lives here on New Eden. They are the original tricksters. Raven and Coyote."

The elder Lisa, hanging just inside the dining room, sighed.  “How like you, Zan to leave introductions till people are leaving.  I hoped I'd done better."

“I was busy last night. Besides, I thought he’d pick Jon’s brains about the new Hawks out there.”

"Nah," James said with a wave.  "That would make it too easy,  No fun."

“Well at least I know things are in good hands out there.” Turning to glance at Jon. “If you ever need information on something that happened out there let me know. I’m sure I’ll get all the gossip and details from Raven.”

"Thanks, but I've given it up."

Beside him, Saoirse snorted softly.

"What?  I have."

"Until something else happens.  We'll see..."

Zan just chuckles and slouches back down in the seat. A sigh of exasperation could be heard coming from the children’s table.

“You know my dear lovely Wife, that it is a head to head battle with one of the most stubborn women I know. You have been at it for the last 5 years now. Will you give up?” Mac said to Kali as he made his rounds of the table again.

“Never. And I can be just as stubborn!” she replied.

“I hear that.” Kit said that from his position over to one side of the room.

“Stay out of it Kit.” Zan returned.

“Want another sparing session, your Grace?” he replied smoothly.

She just muttered some very un-lady like words.

“And I heard that your Grace.” Lady Kali said.

“It’s a conspiracy. Do you hear me? A conspiracy I say!”

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me," Krys said with a laugh.

"’They're coming to take me away, hah hah,'"  Will said.

Zan arched an eyebrow and was about to say something then decided against it. But she did smile.

After everyone was finished with the meal, they slowly drifted out. The children had long since departed for an afternoon play, snow ball fights being the top of the list.



Zan stood leaning on the balcony railing overlooking the courtyard below, wrapped in a heavy fur coat against the cold.

It was funny watching grown adults acting like kids. By mutual consent the kids had ganged up on the adults. Mike, Krys, Jon and Saoirse were defending themselves in a snow fort as the kids laid siege. With Jason leading the group, even with all their experience the adults were hard pressed to keep the kids out.

She had just lit a cigarette when she heard someone join her.

“You know smoking is bad for you.”

“Not you too, Will.”

“Not me too what?” he asked, leaning against the railing next to her.

“About my smoking habit. I know it’s not good, but it’s relaxing.” She shook her head with a smile.

He let the subject of smoking drop and switched to another. “They don’t stand a chance, do they?”

“Who, Jon and them? Not a one. And most definitely not with Jason commanding the attackers.”

“Hehe, yeah I see that.” Will chuckled.

Mac joined them once, bringing hot cocoa to the pair as servants took some down to the others.

Zan glanced slyly at Will then gathered a hand full of snow that had fallen. With a nicely aimed toss, it went landed on the back of his neck.

“Agh! That’s cold!” he yelped, straightening up and causing it to slide down the back of his coat.

She just laughed and took off to join the others below.

“This means war!” he called after her. The chase was on.

The rest of that day was spent amidst pleasant company and laughter.

-----

The next few weeks passed uneventfully. The children were back in school once the holiday session was over. Zan had arranged for Will to meet Dr. Franklin Lonergan, Head of Experimental Medicine at Phoenix Medical in his second week there. They hit it off well enough that Will was made head of the Cybernetics Division almost immediately.

He was also getting to know Zan a little better. He found that she had a good sense of humor, rarely stood on ceremony when it came to her rank, so much so that Lady Kali was always trying to correct her on something. On a few occasions when he had chanced upon her in the gym, she was sparing with Kit, either in unarmed combat or with blades, which surprised him. He didn’t realize she knew either. After watching her, he decided she was good.

He even tried a spar or two with Kit, and wound up in the same position as Zan had, getting trounced completely. He had a very healthy respect for Kit after that. It also improved his standing in Kit’s book, it seemed. Will found that Kit had a dry sense of humor, at times his words could cut just as scathingly as his blades, and that he meant what he said.

On the days he was off he got to know the children under Zan’s care better. Sports seemed to be big as an after school activity. With it being winter, ice skating was the top of the list. One evening at dinner, Zan even asked if he would like to take up the position of un-official sports coordinator.


“Will, you were big on sports growing up, weren’t you?”

“Hm? Yeah, played them all at one point or another. Though I preferred football and ice hockey the most,” he replied.

“Would you be willing to take up the extra duty of keeping the kids active? Winter is not my best season and I’m hard pressed to keep up with them,” she said with a smile.

Several calls of denial came from the kids at the other end. They all knew she could keep up with them.

“That’s not true, Mama Zan.”

“Yeah, your out there on the ice as much as we are.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Ah, but what if you had someone that knew more about sports then I do?” she asked.

The all exchanged looks, then started talking softly amongst themselves.

Will leaned over to speak with Zan softly. “You always let them debate amongst themselves?”

“Yes. It improves their skills involving cooperation. You’ve seen the evening games around here. Each and every one of those children have potential to become someone people will sit up and take notice. Jason will go into the military, but not space side. Mark my words, Will. You’ll see.”

“Jason is Jon’s son, isn’t he? The one you made your heir?” He raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t heard the entire story, just bits and pieces.

“Aye. That he is, on both accounts. All the others have no parents, or rather had none that cared for them when I brought them here.”

Will nodded. “You love those children.”  It was a statement, not a question.

She just smiled in reply. She turned back to the children when she noted they were politely waiting. “Yes?”

“Okay. We’ll accept.” Jason said, being the official leader of the group even though he wasn’t the oldest.

“Good. And try not to scare him off.”  She chuckled.

“Should I worry?” Will asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“Only about Ian’s slap shot, it’s devastating. Mac got tired of having to replace the first floor windows so he had shatter-proof glass installed the last time.”

Will just glanced down the table to where Ian sat, blushing. “I’m not that bad…..”

The entire table erupted in laughter.

Will started to turn to go back eating when he noticed Gypsy watching him. He got a sense of jealousy from the young feline. Jealousy aimed at him anytime he was near Zan. He was going to have to do something to keep things from getting out of hand. But for now he just tilted his head slightly raising an eyebrow a fraction. He got the message though it seems when Gypsy flicked an ear and went back to eating.

Zan looked at Will arching an eyebrow. He just shook his head. She shrugged and the meal continued.

-----

Will had settled into his office nicely within the first couple of days he was there. He got along well with his secretary, Katie. He also got along surprisingly well with those working under him. Besides the Sentroid project that he brought with him, he was also given, by Dr. Lonergan himself, a case that involved a patient with extensive cybernetics. When he saw the name of the patient he had quite honestly been shocked. He knew from various comments he had overheard from a couple of his former teammates and the one room at the palace that she had been in the military, but he didn’t realize that she had been injured. To such an extensive degree at that.

“The Duchess?” Will had asked.

Dr. Lonergan just nodded slightly. “Though her personal case is not amongst the reasons Her Grace wanted to create the Cybernetics division. She stated that clearly to me when we discussed it during the fall of last year. Her Grace understands the possibilities of cybernetics in the medical field and wishes to see it developed to its full potential.”

“I hear that.” He agreed whole heartedly about its use in the medical field. After all, that was what it was originally developed for.

It was a week and a half later when he received a package from Carolyn Stargazer. It was a sample of the latest advancement that NexTech had made. He knew what it was when he looked at it. The message that came with it just confirmed it.  As he studied the object in front of him, his mind went over what he had read and of possible uses, his intercom buzzed. “Yes?”

“Mr. Hart? Dr. Lonergan is on line one.”

“Thank you, Katie” he said as he set down the small rod and picked up the phone. “Good morning Dr. L. what can I do for you?”

“Morning, Will. Just wanted to call and let you know everything has been canceled for the day. There’s a winter storm brewing so everyone is being sent home. We should be able to resume the normal schedule in about two to three days. From the reports coming in, this is just  a small one.”

“All right. Thanks, Dr. L.”

“Not a problem, Will. See you when we get back.” With that he hung up.

Setting the phone down he touched the intercom button. “Katie? Inform everyone that we’re closing for a storm and to head home immediately.”

“Right away, Mr. Hart. And you had best be getting home yourself sir. Her Grace’s Seneschal already called to say a ride was on its way.”

“I will be Katie, and thanks.” He chuckled and started packing away everything and closing up for the day.

He could hear the soft chime of a building wide announcement faintly as he gathered his briefcase and coat heading out of his office. Katie was in the process of shutting everything down also. She smiled and waved goodbye as he left.

When he left the building he was amazed at how much the temperature had dropped in the two hours he had been here. He was use to the winters in Vancouver but this was worse. A light snowfall was already in progress. As he glanced up to the sky he could see the clouds slowly rolling in from the north west.

There were already a large gathering of people, apparently waiting on rides. They seemed to be in small groups.

“This one will only be a mild storm,” one said.

“Hmmm.. yeah. Not like the one just before Christmas. That was a killer storm. Thankfully Her Grace got all the outlying ‘Steaders warned and undercover before it hit.”

“The Storm Riders are an amazing group. To volunteer to go out in that type of weather.” The speaker shook her head.  “And you know the Duchess is at the head of the Teams. She’s saved countless lives that second year after she arrived permanently. And ever year since she rides with them. That was the worse storm in recoded history here at Huntington. It wasn’t even listed as a category from what I heard.”

“Get out of here. It was a 5. I should know I got stuck in it on the way back from my parents place. There have been worse, just no one around to record them,” said a young man. “If it hadn’t been for Her Grace I’d have been a frozen popsicle and no one would have found me for at least a month… Well gotta go, the ride heading in my direction is here.” With that he left giving everyone a wave of goodbye as he and several others piled into a sleigh.

There were in fact a large number of sleighs arriving. Each one stopped long enough for a small group to climb in then it took off. As Will waited for his own ride he watched the  snow fall thicken from a light patchy flurry to a constant steady fall.

“Mr. Hart!” someone called.

Will glanced around and spotted a small 2 person sleigh painted in the colors of the Fife and with the Ducal seal blazoned on its side arrive. The driver waved as he stopped and waited for Will to get in, throwing the lap cover over him as he did. The ride home was silent except for the chiming of the harness bells. Will watched the stores they passed closing storm shutters and people going about getting last minute preparations finished.

They arrived at the Palace, but instead of stopping at the front, they continued on to the side and the stables. Stable hands came out to take care of everything as Will climbed out of the sleigh. He could feel the tension coming from a large gathering from inside. Deciding to see what was going on, he entered through the side door.

Horses were being saddled then lead away to a open area. He spotted the group gathered. They were all standing about in a circle listening to final instructions.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, you have your assignment. Check your gear and make sure you get one last cup of something hot to drink. This storm is a small one but I’m not taking chances. Dismissed.”

When the people parted he spotted Zan in the middle, dressed in heavy winter gear.

He knew he wanted to see the effects of the weather on her so that he could get a better idea about the project he had in mind but this was a bit much. He could already feel how the weather was effecting her. It was like someone had placed ice cold hands down his back.

“Your not going out in this weather are you?” he asked, disbelieving what he was seeing.

“Yes.” It was a simple statement as she sat down on a bale of hay and let Lady Kali put her hair up. “I have a duty to attend to. I won’t be gone long. About 6 hours or so.”

"6 Hours? In this weather? You shouldn't be going at all.  That weather is NOT good for you." He said, frowning.

"I have a responsibility to my stead holders. Half of them have no way of knowing when a storm brews up. And I will not neglect them" She said in an exasperated tone.
 
"I'm not saying neglect them.  I'm saying let someone else do the job.  Delegate authority.  You don't have to do everything for yourself every time." He set his briefcase down and crossed his arms. He could be just as stubborn as she was.

"Most of those beyond the city won't take it serious if I’m not there. I lost to many people the first year because of that. If I'm not out there then they die," she countered.  She stood and stomped her feet to settle them into the heavy fur boots.

Mac and Kali just exchanged looks. He nodded to her questioning look and she smiled as she left. Once back in the main building she had the nearest servant go and fetch a set of heavy winter gear that would fit Will. They were lucky that there was enough guards close enough in size as Will that they did have extra.

Back in the stable the argument between two equally stubborn people continued.

"Then I'm going with you, and they're going to learn that if I say move it, they'd better listen.  I can't see you blithely exposing yourself to this danger year after year." As someone in the medical field, he just could not stand to see someone take so many chance and risk that she seemed to take.

"I've been doing it for years Will. Nothing has happened yet, gods forefend anything happening this time either. Fine, your choice. But I hope like hell you don’t regret your words because I can’t spare anyone to escort you back."

"I haven't regretted anything I've said yet.  I don’t intend to start now."

"Hope you know how to ride a horseback because this weather plays merry hell with everything else," she told him.

“I'll figure it out as I go.  Are we done arguing now?"

Zan rolled her eyes, throwing up her hands and stalked off to check her gear. As she did she turned to the Master Stable Hand. “Jake, get IronFoot’s stable mate, IronHide, saddled up. We got an extra party member it seems.”

“Yes Ma’am!” Jake called as he went to retrieve the mare and saddle her up.

"15 Minutes Will, no more then that and I'm leaving. If you can’t make it back to the stables then you’re out of luck," she called back.

He just grinned, picked up his briefcase, and started to head for the tunnel that lead to the main building when Lady Kali intercepted him. She had a rather large bundle in her arms. “Here. You can change in there.” She nodded to a small room of to the side. “Do you need a hand with anything?”

He blushed slightly. “Um.. No ma’am. I think I can manage.” He took the bundle and entered the room. He closed the door and proceeded to change. As he did so, he spoke loud enough to be heard though the door. “Lady Kali?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you helping?”

“Helping you beat her deadline or helping as in working as head governess?”

“The first.”

“Lets see…Because your as stubborn and as bull-headed as Her Grace. You stand up to her and don’t let her intimidate you, that happens more often then not due to her history here, She likes you enough to argue back. If she didn’t she would not have said a word, just had some of the guards remove you. Do you need anymore reasons?”

He chuckled as he listened to her list the reasons. “No, Ma’am.” He opened the door and stepped out, fully dressed for what lay ahead of him.

Lady Kali looked him over with a critical eye then made a small adjustment here and there. “There. That’s better. And with time to spare.” She had a small grin on her face. “Who did she assign you to ride?”

“Um.. IronHide I believe she said.” He watched as she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Why? Something wrong?”

“Oh no, She’s just being petty and childish. That’s all. IronHide is a very domineering and head strong horse. She tends to bully her stable mate any chance she gets. I’ll see that there are soaking salts as well as some liniment waiting on you in your room when you get back.”

“Sounds like my sister,” he muttered to himself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, never mind it. Thank you,” he said as she turned and left, taking his briefcase and discarded clothes with her. He returned to the Stable with about 5 minutes to spare and was rewarded with a sour look from Zan. He just smiled in return. And a moment later was helped up into the saddle with a boost from a stable hand.

She grumbled some but other wise said not another word about it as she mounted up. Taking the reigns and looking them over one hand as she did. With practiced ease of someone that had been in a saddle since early childhood, she controlled her mount. “The horse used for the Storm Duty are trained for neck and knee. Half the time we can’t feel the reins so we use leg commands. It won’t matter how long you stay and whether or not you insist to come with me next time, you will learn to ride. No ifs, ands, or rumps about it.”

“I thought the saying was ‘Ifs ands or buts,’” he pointed out.

“No, it’s ‘Rumps’ here cause that is going to be the sorest part of you in the morning.” She smiled a bit on the feral side. “I’ll see to it.”

“You’re being childish and petty”

“And you’ve been talking to Kali.” She turned her horse and looked over the teams, who were also mounted up and waiting. “All right, you have your assignments. Remember, ‘Steaders first and foremost, if you have time, then the livestock.” She raised her arm and in a signal to the stable hands to open the doors. “Let’s ride!”

As soon as the doors were open enough to let a horse though they were on the move. Someone pulled a bugle out and let go several rounds of triple notes. Will had to grab hold of the saddle’s high front as IronHide took off after her stable mate. Gritting his teeth at the bone jarring pace, he flat refused to regret this decision of coming along.

‘Besides’, he kept reminding himself, ‘it’s relevant to my research to see the effect of the severe weather changes on her.’

The teams split and headed in their assigned directions.


The first two hours were hard riding. Once they got in their assigned area the team split in pairs and headed to the various homes and farms to warn everyone and be sure that all were accounted for.

It was just Will, Zan and the leader of this team, Nikita Ivonava, that made the ride to the last homestead.

Nikita rode up to the door and leaned over to pound on it before backing his horse away.

An older man stuck his head out the door and spoke. “Oui?  que voulez-vous?” [Yes? what do you want?]

“Est-ce que chacun est expliqué ici?” [Is everyone accounted for here?] Zan asked

Will was surprised that she knew French. But he came to the conclusion that there would be a lot of surprises in store for him in the future when dealing with her.

“Oui, chacun est bon sûr.” [Yes, everyone is safe.]

“C'est un orage doux, mais reste toujours sûr nous.” [Good. This is a mild storm, but still stay safe.]

“Merci votre grace! Bonne chasse et voyage sûr.”[ We will. Thank you your Grace! Good hunting and safe journey.]

“Mêmes à vous.”[ Same to you.]

With that the trio left to start heading back towards New Ziveu.

Will could feel the cold pain that radiated from Zan on the trip back. It was like someone had opened up his back and was pouring icy cold water down it. He couldn’t suppress the shivers it gave him.

“Regretting coming with me?” she asked as they rode side by side for a bit. Exhausting tinged her voice.

“No. And I still say this weather is not good for you.”

“Hellfires, Will, this weather isn’t good for anyone!”

"What these people need is some kind of early warning system that they'll trust not involving more people risking their lives."

"We're trying to get that in place, but until we can get some tech that isn’t effected by the sub-zero temperatures, we have to continue with the old fashioned ways. Right now all the cables and such are buried, but they don't run this far out"

"Hhmmmmm..."  The wheels in his head were audibly turning.

"I can hear the wheels grinding up there in that head of yours. Before you ask, we tried using the same relays used in space, because of the extreme cold. They didn’t work."

"I'll find something...this fall."

She leaned a little closer to him. “Truthfully, I say that the bandits that still infect the area are the cause, but I have yet to either catch them or even prove it though. And you did not hear this from me, but I have a feeling they are having help from a very high placed source outside of the Fife.”

"What do bandits get out of wreaking havoc on weather monitoring equipment?  Or are they just that bored?"

“Divide and concur. If they cut the people outside the city off from the city, they can take over the area easier. No one to report them to us.”

"What they need is a whole fleet of Tallyhawks."

“Don’t think that hasn’t come to mind. I tried to get Tallyhawk once in fact. The Grykats of the area managed to take out completely the first birds of prey we released here. Not a single one was left.”

"Maybe the trick is to modify the existing flying cats for service."

“Do you want to get up close and personal to a winged mountain lion? You’d have to get it when it’s a cub and hand rear it. I refuse to allow any hunting of that type because it would mean having to kill the parents.”

"That's exactly what would make these bandits think twice about interfering with them as well."  He sighed “I suppose I'll have to try some other ideas."

“Sorry, won’t have a kitten to play with till nature presents you one.” She just chuckled. Then winced as she shifted.

"If nature presents me with anything, I'm going to go looking for Mike and ask him what he snuck into my drink.  But the look on his face at the barber shop was worth a little public humiliation."

“Dare I ask?” arching an eyebrow.

"It was just a dumb bet.  The kind of thing men do when they get drunk.  Mike lost at my expense, so he had to get a mohawk right before the modifications."

She started to chuckle, her breath turning to white clouds before her. “I always wondered about that. Especially with him always playing country music.” She didn’t ask what his ‘expense’ was. If he wanted her to know he would have told her.

"Well he was already called Cowboy by a few people, so we went for the most anti-cowboy thing three drunk guys could come up with.  Our imaginations weren't very good at that moment.  Jon would have ended up with a tattoo."

“I’m sorry, I just can’t see someone as straight laced and anal as Jon with a tattoo. What would it have been if he had lost?” she reached into a pocket and pulled out a small flask. After taking a sip she offered it to him.

"We never got that far.  Drunk, remember?  But Jon was stiff in those days.  Every other sentence out of his mouth started 'My father, the Captain, says...'  And the Captain had ideas about officers and tattoos.  Fine for enlisted men, but," he cleared his throat, then produced a credible imitation of Jonathan, "'an officer needs to set a certain standard in habit and decorum.'"

“Oy! Has he lightened up any since then? I can’t tell. Not enough experience in dealing with him.”

"He doesn't quote his father anymore.  Does that count?"

“I suppose.” Shaking her head as she chuckled again. “Tell me about the rest of them. I was limited to dealing with Aurora at the time and then it was only that one chance meeting.” She was indeed interested. And it kept her mind off other things, like how much pain she was in. Even as thickly bundled as she was, the cold managed to claw its way into her bones.

"Krys was like a little sister, to me.  You wanted to watch out for her, to hug her when she cried.  There was never any sense of artifice or fakery about her.  I'd say she was shallow, but it went straight to the core.  She was exactly what you saw on the outside.  Mike's the same way.  He looks, walks and talks good-old-country boy who love to fly like a bird.  They're perfect for each other. The Commander was everyone's father at one time or another.  He dished out reward and punishment with equal care, and equal regard for what was right.  It kept Jon and Krys from being booted.  Honestly, and it's not what Aurora would say, they were equally to blame for what happened.  The Commander knew that, and he did his best to get everyone past it and moved on. Jon was dedicated to the job, 100%.  He saw the whole thing laid out before him.  He'd serve as Lieutenant, then be promoted to Commander and run the station with the old iron fist in a velvet glove. I don't know that any of us tried to get as close to the 'Kidd as we should have.  He and Mike were friends, so Mike may be a better person to ask.  I know he would go out on a limb when he thought something needed to be fixed. And Aurora.  You met Aurora after.  That's how we thought of her.  Aurora Before and Aurora After.  She was as cold as Jonathan when she first arrived.  We were in the middle of a crisis, Krys and Mike in trouble, and her suggestion was to requisition new crewmembers.  She was warming up, but everything seemed to make her sad.  Then Starlight came into the picture, or Steven, or whoever he was.  I don't really understand.  And she just left.. like she woke up in the morning with a different personality, and it wasn't staying in some sterile orbital station. What's funny is that, once she got back, she was even angrier, somehow.  And it showed, all of the sudden.  She went from ice cold to blazing hot.  Then the General came up for that inspection, and she was gone again.  The whole project was almost incidental to her, something to take up her time while she waited, even if she didn't know it.”

That was the longest speech she had heard out of him. Ever. “And your sister?”

"Emily."  He sighed.  "She was in love or something with Bluegrass, and Krys was a thorn in her side.  Have you ever thought that you knew someone, then looked back years later and said 'Who was that person, really?'  Because now that I think about it, I don't know if I ever knew her.  If I did, I'd know where she is and what she's doing, right?  I'd understand what she's going through, and I don't know the first thing.  Not anymore."

“It sounds like it was interesting times then. Children grow. Give her time to grow up. You did from the sounds of it. Now it's her turn and she can't hide from it. As for my past.....Can't say much about it. Managed to get forged papers and joined when I was 16. Learned to fly. Gave me a sense of freedom." She took another sip of the liquid in the flask. "Got assigned to the same squadron as my adoptive uncle,  then came to New Eden to take care of some pirate problems... couple of years later, Bam! I'm a Duchess." She snorted slightly.

They rode on in silence after that. The only sounds were those of the harnesses jingling, the creak of the snow under the horses hooves and the soft conversations of the riders behind them.

“What are you drinking?” he finally asked her.

“It’s Sturmfeuerweinbrand”

“Strum..what?”

“Sturmfeuerweinbrand. Translates from German to Storm Fire Brandy. Basically take the best flavored brandy you can find, well aged of course, in my case it's either apple or strawberry depending on the day, then freeze it and remove the ice. What's left is potent let me tell you! Are you sure you don’t want a sip?”

“Alcohol just dilates the blood vessels and makes your temperature go down,” he pointed out.

“Maybe so, but it warms you up on the inside. Besides there’s less then a cup in this thing. Not enough to really do much more then relax you.”

“Er.. No thanks just the same.”

She shrugged as if to say ‘your loss.’

The rest of the trip back was quiet. Only the thickening of the storm. It  was close to seven hours later when Zan and the Storm Riders returned. It was one of the reasons she had such a dedicated following. She never asked anyone to do anything she was not willing to do herself.


As Will entered the warmth of the stables he couldn’t suppress a groan of relief. He watched a moment as the others around him were dismounting, ten did the same. Only when he swung his leg over the saddle he hissed at the pain he felt in his backside. He was able to stand at least when his feet touched the ground.

“First time out in a storm?” someone asked.

“Yeah and the first time riding a horse,” he admitted, wincing as he straightened up. He started to work his gloves off and flex his fingers when he noted that Zan was still mounted.

“And she had you on IronHide?” ask another of the riders.

He nodded.

He got a lot of looks at that. A mix of sympathy, amusement, and admiration. A couple of the riders even patted him on the shoulder as they passed him.

A stable hand took IronHide away before he could say anything. Another handed him a cup of some steaming liquid. “Careful, it was just brewed.”

He nodded and wrapped his hands about the mug. They felt like they were frozen. He watched as Mac arrived with a mug of something and waited as Zan slid out of the saddle, balancing carefully on her right leg, grimacing as she did.

“Thanks Mac,” he heard her say softly. “Have someone get my bath ready. I plan on a long soak to warm up with.”

“I will.” With that, Mac left.

As she started to limp out of the stables she paused next to Will. “Not bad for a virgin in the saddle. Best go soak a while. Knowing Kali, there will be some herbs and salts waiting on you along with some liniment.” She didn’t notice his blush at the word ‘virgin.’ With a tired wave she was gone from view.

Will blinked several times as he noticed there were only the stable hands left. Looking down into the cup he held, he noted it was cool enough to drink. So he left, sipping as he headed to his room. It was overly sweet and with an underlying lemony taste. But he did feel somewhat better after he finished it.

In his room he headed for the bath, stripping out of the gear as he did. On the counter there was a bottle, a small bowl filled with what looked like salt and some herbs, and a note.


W.H.
Take a long soak, not a shower. Plenty of hot water. Set the tub heater controls and it will stay hot for a very long time.


With a sigh he started the bath, setting the heater controls. When the tub was half full he dumped the contents of the bowl into the swirling water then finished undressing. He climbed into the tub. Normally he’d just shower since not many bathtubs were designed big enough for someone his size. But not this tub. He could stretch out completely and still not touch the opposite end with his foot.

He was up to his chin in hot water that night. Quite literally.

-----

The next day passed quietly as the storm raged outside the thick walls. He took advantage of it by retreating to one of the studies to start work on the his project.

Servants brought him his supper there, along with plenty to drink. Every now and then Mac would look in to check on him. It was past midnight the last time he did.

Zan was in bed reading when Mac came in. “Something wrong?”

“No, no. Just wanted to let you know Will is still up and in the study. Burning the Midnight oil as it were.”

She sighed and closed the book rubbing her eyes. “Get my robe please.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Check on him.” She slipped her arms into it and belted it closed as she slid out of the bed. With that she left for the study.


Will looked up when the study door opened. "I thought you'd gone to bed already," he said, frowning a little.

Zan shut the door quietly behind her. "I had. Mac came up to tell me you were still awake."

He frowned even more. "I didn't want him to do that."

"You won't get him to change, Will. He has standing orders to let me know when one of my guests needs something."

"What I need is to have some peace." He watched her face fall and hastily back tracked. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about this presentation." He rested a hand behind his neck, stretching a shoulder. "Here," he said, sliding something out of an envelope and handing it to her. "Feel this. Carolyn sent it to me. She thought I might like it."

Zan frowned a little herself. "Carolyn?"

"Stargazer. Aurora's mother. She's the R-D VP of NexTech. This is their latest project."

She studied the metal rod. "What is it?"

"Argentium Mark IV." Seeing her confused look, he continued. "Argentium I was what the UESC used for the original mods. The Commander, Condor, Hotwing and the rest of the team. Krys was the last 'Hawk done with the original alloy. Aurora was the first modified with Argentium II. I used Mark III to do the modifications to Sentroid. That is the latest model."

Zan felt it warm quickly in her hand. "What can they do with it?"

"That's what I'm working on. You know that the original was intended for medical use, right?"

"Better than most. Flexible exoskeleton."

"Yeah. And it can provide a pressure environment when sealed. Carolyn wants to get back to more strictly medical uses. I'm supposed to find a test protocol."

She looked sympathetic. "Nothing's coming to mind?"

"Not exactly. I have a possibility in mind," he admitted, "but I have to be sure nothing could go wrong before I approach the subject."

"What are you going to try?"

"Endoskeletal and neural replacement for a severe trauma victim."

Zan whistled low, the cylinder of Argentium gripped tight in her hand. "How will you tackle the neural connections?"

"Hand me that back." She did, and he replaced it with an anodized-yellow disk, slightly larger around than a quarter and as thick as two together. "That was Aurora's neural transceiver. It linked to the Argentium II armor through the BodyWeb and some wiring here." He slid a hand behind her neck and caressed the spot where vertebrae met skull.
Zan shivered a little but held her ground. Finally, Will dropped his hand and took back the disk, replacing it with a smaller one, no bigger than a dime. "This is the newest version. It goes in wherever the metal and bone structures meet. It will seamlessly translate the neural impulses into electrons for the wiring in the new structures."

Zan handed it back. "Does it work?"

"Still have to do some final testing." He carefully closed it in a static-free box. "It's a little sensitive right now to free-floating electrons." He stretched, then grimaced, pain etched on his face.

She slipped around behind him, hands rubbing his shoulders. "How long have you been working? Your muscles feel like stones."

He let his head drop forward as her thumbs pressed against his neck. "I don't remember, to be honest. What day is it?"

"If you have to ask, then the answer is too long." She felt stiff ridges under her fingers and peeled back the collar of his shirt. "What's going on back here?"

He stood up suddenly. "It's nothing. Just..." He sighed. "Here. I'll show you." He rolled up the sleeves, exposing a network of scars wrapping around his forearm. He pulled back his left cuff as well, showing the scars that ringed his wrist.

Zan traced the, with gentle fingers, half-afraid he would run away. "What happened?"

"Modification," he said simply. "The original neural connections had to be made muscle group by muscle group. And the lasers were implants as well. Krysten and Aurora had their scars cleaned up with surgery. I guess I just never bothered." He shrugged. "I never though they'd cause problems."

Zan backed up a step, giving him room. "If you want to talk about it, I'll listen," she offered, mindful that he hated to be asked about his past.

"The girl I was working on the Sentroid project with, Madeleine. She was blind, so she didn't see them at first. Then we were at a fair one night, and I asked her to dance. When she felt them, she asked, and I explained that I'd been in the military. She blew up, said I'd lied, I'd abused her trust, I was using the whole enhanced service animal project to help the military control the populations of innocent countries.... Any and every terrible thing done by the military was heaped at my feet. The she tore out of the tent and into the street."

Zan closed her eyes, imaging clearly enough the outcome. "I understand." She slid up the sleeves of her robe, revealing a jagged array of healed knife wounds, none so neat or smooth as Will's. "War leaves no one unscathed."

"You're not completely disgusted?"

She shook her head. "No. Not at all." She took a deep breath. "Is there more you want to show me?"

He turned and pulled his shirt off over his head, laying bare a roadmap of fine white lines laying out muscles and bones. Zan touched his gently and he flinched.

"Do they hurt?" she asked

"Sometimes." He turned around to face her again. "When I've been sitting too much, they tighten up. Then when I move, they pull. I can tell when I've been on the bench too long. Instead of strained muscles, I get strained skin."

"I know that feeling." She turned away and loosened her robe and let it slide down, revealing her shoulders, criss-crossed with old whip scars, more knife wounds and bite marks. She felt his hands hover warm over them, but he didn't touch.

"War?" he asked.

"Yeah." She shrugged the robe back on and belted it closed. "Sucks to be a POW, too." She blinked rapidly, fighting tears. She wouldn't cry. She had nothing to cry about. She was alive, damnit. It would take a lot more than some unpleasant memories to break her. "Listen, I know something that might help. Not to sound cliché or anything, but why
don't you slip into something more comfortable and come up to my room?"

He studied her carefully for signs of teasing, but there were no shadows in her blue-gray eyes. "Okay," he found himself saying. He didn't know when he'd decided, but whatever happened, he was going to follow it through.

After he agreed she nodded and left, returning to her room to prepare things. Her rooms was actually a suite of rooms. The sitting room was the first. Large enough for the two couches and a recliner. There was a small, compared to the others in the Palace, entertainment center. Just a vid screen, a couple of vid players, a game consul and a stereo. Two doors lead off from the main room. One went to her bedroom, the other to her private study and work room.

Going to the left hand door she entered her study. Looking over the contents on the shelves of the book case, she pulled down several jars. The first was a special blend of an herbal lotion, the second was a jar of herbal tea. Like everything else in the room, these two items were made by her in her spare time. Taking both bottles, she et them in a warming tray, added in a couple cans of the fuel used with the warming tray, and a teapot with matching cups. Once back in the sitting room she set everything up.

The teapot was filled with water then the herbs were wrapped in a piece of cloth and added to it. The warming pan had also been filled with water and the lotion was set in it to warm up.

Once everything was prepared she moved to the entertainment center and removed the CD changer. Going though her collection of music she started reloading it. She was almost finished when she heard a knock on her door. “Enter” she called out, it had to be Will since both Mac and Kali entered without knocking.

The door opened and Will glanced around it before entering. He then closed it softly behind him. When she had said change into something comfortable, he did just that. The outfit was just a pair of soft gray sweatpants and a pull over t-shirt.

She glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled softly. “Go ahead and pick a couch.” Then she turned back to load the CD changer back into the stereo and hit random play. “There’s one more thing I need to get. I’ll be right back.” With that she headed into the left hand door.

As he looked about he noted that the one door that was open, lead into a room with book shelves. The end of a desk could be seen so he figured that it was her private study and the door that was closed led to her bedroom. The walls of this room were covered in both small wall hangings and pictures. As he passed the recliner he noted a basket of yarn and several large completed squares, glancing at the couches he saw both had afghans, in warm muted colors, thrown over the backs. He chuckled softly to himself cause he could not picture Zan being the type to sit still long enough to either knit or crochet. As he sat down on one of the couches he was startled when he sank down quite a bit. It was a struggle just to get up again.

“Sorry, I should have warned you about the fact those couches likes to eat people.” She said as she returned carrying a jar of honey. “The kids and I refuse to get rid of them even though Mac threatens to do just that.”

“I can see why,” he said as he gingerly sat back down, this time closer to the edge.

She perched on the edge and poured two cups of tea. To hers she added a good dollop of honey. Glancing at him she arched an eyebrow and indicated the jar. He nodded and she put a dollop into his tea also. Setting the jar down she handed him his cup. The tea was still hot, but soothing and with a hint of both mint and raspberry.

Seeing his expression she chuckled softly. “Chamomile, Catnip, Raspberry and Mint,” she said. “The first two are good for relaxing a person, the last two are for flavor.”

He sipped cautiously at first. The blend was strange, but soon enough he found himself enjoying it. Enough so that he asked for a second cup. “You know a lot about herbs and plants,” he said.

“I’m a herbalist on the side. I find that the natural medicines works better then the newest stuff that’s out these days.”

“Oh.” He nodded, feeling himself start to relax.

When she felt the time was right she took both cups and set them on the table. “Why don’t you go ahead and stretch out. I have some lotion that may help some,” she said as she got up with practiced ease.

He hesitated for just a moment but nodded and got up himself. Pulling his t-shirt over his head he winced as the scars pulled tight. Draping his shirt over one of the arms he then laid down. It was a nice surprise when he realized that the couch was large enough to fit even him.

While Will was settling himself, Zan was rolling up the sleeves of her robe. Once he was settled she sat down on the edge next to him. She reached over and dipped her hands into the warm water then dried them off on the edge of her robe. Nothing worse the cold hands. Taking the jar of lotion she opened it and poured some out into her palm. “Sorry if it’s a little on the cool side.” With that she rubbed her hands together then proceeded to run them up his back.

He managed to keep from flinching away from her too badly. “Cool is not the word for it.”

“Sorry, My hands seem to always be cold at this time of year. Tried to warm them up some but I see it didn’t work”

“No.. No.. it’s okay, just unexpected. That’s all.” Wincing, as it seemed that she managed to find all the sorest or most sensitive places along his back. Even with the music playing softly in the background, the silence was oppressive. “What’s in the lotion you using now?”

“Besides the purified tallow? Cinnamon, Marigold, Witch Hazel and White Willow. Numbs, heals, cleans and sooths.”

“Tallow?” he asked turning his head so that he could watch her over his shoulder.

“Yep. Tallow. From a buffalo that was killed last fall,” she replied with a grin.

“Buffalo?”

“Is there an echo in here?”

“Maybe,” he chuckled, then drew in a sharp breath as she hit another sore spot. This one was worse then the others.

“You really need to take a break. After this, do yourself a favor and get a little rest. That project of yours won’t be benefited if you work yourself into the ground.” She said leaning a little to reach his upper right shoulder, shifting her legs. When she did that, her robe slide down over her knee reveling the dark silver hued metal of the exoskeleton she wore. Unconsciously she reached down and twitched the material back over her leg.

He opened one eye when he felt her remove one hand. He thought that maybe she was getting more of that lotion, but when he saw the familiar metal along her leg, he wasn’t sure what to think. Yes, he had managed to get a little bit of information about what had happened to her, but reading about it and seeing it were two different things. He started to wrap his mind about this, but the feeling of her hands along his back were distracting him with other thoughts. Her voice brought him out of those thoughts like being doused in ice water. He hoped she didn’t see his sudden flush of embarrassment.

“Will? Does the test subject have to be a new trauma or would an old injury work just as well?” Her hands stilled on his back.

“Um… Not sure. I’m more in the favor of an old trauma. It will have allowed for natural healing to have done as much as possible for the subject. Why?” He frowned, not sure if this was going in the direction he thought it was or not.

“…I… I’ll be right back.” With that she got up and walked away.

He could hear a door open then softly close again. Sitting up, he stretched, feeling a lot better then when he came in, though there were still spots that were stiff. He started to turn to reach for his shirt when he saw her door open again and she stepped out, clad in nothing more then a sheet wrapped about her body.

She started speaking as she approached. “When you asked if I knew that the original process was for medical purposes, I said I knew better then most.” She stopped beside the couch. “Could you move the table out of the way?”

He just nodded, not trusting his voice right at the moment. After moving the table back towards the other couch, he looked up at her, hoping she wouldn’t see how badly he was blushing.

Her back was turned towards him so she never saw his face. “This is why.” Slowly she let the sheet slide down, reveling her lower shoulders, then her back. He had given freely about his past, she could not do no less.

His breath caught when he saw the amount of scars covering her back. What he had seen in the study was just a fraction of the over all number. About a third of the way down her back the gleaming silver of the metal started. It was about as wide as a mans hand, traveled down past the small of her back. Just above the cleft in her buttock it split, flowing over her hips and down her legs. He saw the bands wrapped about her upper thighs, just above and below her knees and her ankles. Her left knee was completely encased. The scars vanished under the edge of the metal where they crossed. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like to endure so much. His scars were nothing compared to hers.

“You need someone to be the test subject, I’m willing to do it. In fact, I’m probably the best you’ll find. Extreme extensive trauma, plenty of time for as much healing as possible. And I have experience with the original process.” Her hands were clenched tight in the sheet as she used it to cover her front. Her eyes were closed tight.

He reached out to examine the exoskeletal structure. “I’m going to touch you a moment.” He told her softly so that she would not bolt as he touched her. Carefully he placed the tips of his fingers on the section along her hips. He felt her shiver. “I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“No…It just… Feels strange.” There was a catch in her voice. “no one… other then the Doctor…. Has ever….” She trailed off.

“I see…” he said as he carefully side a finger along the metal. He winced when he saw a couple of spots where the metal was rougher then it should be. “How long? Can you feel anything as I touch you here?” He placed his hand on her lower back then moved it up to the top of the strip. His other hand settled on her hip to keep her balanced and to let her know he was still there.

“Close to 13 years….yes, but there’s a kind of delayed reaction. One of the reasons they refused my application to the Academy.”

Looking up at her, concerned and confused. “13 years? That would mean…..” he trailed off as he did the calculations. It would put it at a couple of years after when the team was modified and sent to Limbo. “The delayed reaction time? That should not have made much difference.”

“I think they were trying to find a way to refuse it because of my… emotional state at the time.”

He stayed quiet at that. He noted the way the metal was embedded into her flesh and found it rather disturbing. This was not the way it was suppose to have been. There should have been a meld of metal and flesh that was nearly seamless. Not the morass of puckered skin and rough edges. Anger seemed to well up from no where. Completely unexpected. “Who the hell did this butcher job? It’s completely wrong! It should be beautiful, like art, not some twisted freak's idea of a torture device.  You should never have had to tolerate this.”

She stiffened biting her lip. Maybe this was a mistake, letting him see the scars and such. She started to gather the sheet up and move away, but his hands on her waist stopped her.

"Carolyn would cry to see her design used this way.  She wanted to improve people's lives, not force them to trade one pain for another.  You shouldn't feel it, should hardly see it.  Someone did you wrong here from beginning to end."

"6 Months.... It took 6 months to complete. I was awake the entire time. They only used local."

"6 months and local anesthesia every time?  Where is he?  Goddamnit, I'll kill him.  I'll kill every one of them." He stood abruptly.

“You can’t change the past….” It was said so softly. “.. and it’s best to forget it at times….”

"I can't change what happened, and I can't give you back everything you lost, but I can fix this.  The Argentium IV needs a few more tests on the transceiver.  Don't say anything now. Just think about it."

"My offer still stands. I've dealt with this for 13 years almost, a few more months won't hurt." much she added silently. She could feel the tears threatening to spill. Never had anyone cared so much for her in such a short amount of time.

"I swear, you'll be asleep the whole time.  You shouldn't even feel anything when you wake up.”  He could feel her trembling, and knew it had to be something more than the memories of the surgery.  “I’m here, if you just want to talk.  Or whatever."

She nodded, wrapping the sheet back around her. “Would.. would you…” she her lip again. “.. hold me as I…. Talk?.. I’ve never told anyone the full details.” She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes dark with emotions. Mostly of hidden pain and a vulnerability she’s never shown anyone, ever before. She was taking a huge step.

He sat back down and held his arms out.  "Come get comfortable., You don't have to look at me while you talk, if it's too hard."

Nodding she slowly curled up in his lap. Her knees were drawn up tight against her chest as she tucked her head under his chin. After a few false starts she started speaking. Telling of how her squadron was sent to New Eden, the dogfights and space battles. She described with uncanny accuracy the details of watching her friends being slaughtered. Of being shot down after a particularly brutal fight. The crash and her being hunted down.

When she got to the part about the prison camps she faltered, shivering at the memory. He ran a soothing hand across her back, murmuring soft words of encouragement. Even if she didn’t hear the exact words, she could feel them where her ear was against his chest. It was like a soft, warm and loving blanket being wrapped about her. She told about the uncounted times she was raped, tortured and beaten. About being set loose as game to be hunted down again. She told him about the one thing no one else knew. That she had been pregnant five different times though it all and how they aborted them each time. The last time had been the hardest for her since she was just over four months along.

She felt moisture on her head and reached up, tracing Will's wet cheek, and realized her was crying for her.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here. For being one of the gentlest, most caring souls I have ever meet. And most of all, for being you.” She shifted, leaning up to place her forehead against his own. Gently she kissed each of his eyelids, before settling her head against his shoulder. Her face buried against his neck and her arms about his shoulders. “For being my teddy bear when I need one.” The last said softly.

He felt her breath even out as she fell into a peaceful sleep finally, for the first time in a very long time.

-----

"'Morning, Katie," Will said cheerfully, passing his secretary.

"Good morning, Will. Dr. Lonergan wants a moment when you're free."

He set his briefcase on the desk and opened it, taking out some files and envelopes. "Call him and let him know I'm on my way."

Within five minutes, he was outside the office of Dr. Franklin Lonergan, Head of Experimental Medicine at Phoenix Medical.

"He's expecting me," Will told the doctor's receptionist.

"Yes. Go right in, Mr. Hart. He's waiting."

Will entered the plush corner office. "Morning, Dr. L."

"Will, come on in. Great news. We got the contract from the New Haven Military to provide them with Sentroid-model dogs. Quite a coup for you since you brought us the technology. You're gaining clout fast, Will. Right now, you could ask for anything you want and get it. Got your laundry list handy?"

Will sat where the doctor indicated. "There is something I'd like to try Dr. L. That's partly why I came by this morning. Carolyn Stargazer of NexTech sent me this." He handed over the Argentium rod.

Lonergan whistled. "NexTech, huh? Is this what I think it is?"

"Better, probably. Carolyn's the mother of a close friend of mine. That's Argentium IV. The UESC doesn't even have any yet."

"Why not?"

Will shrugged. "She never intended it for military applications. She knew I left the military and came to work here. So she sent it along. Thought I might have a use for it."

"What do you want to do Will? Say the word, and I can make it happen."

"I have a patient in mind. I want to use Argentium IV and the transceiver that goes with it to fashion her a new endoskeletal support system."

Lonergan nodded. "Whatever you need, you have it. Her Grace did me a huge favor pointing me in your direction. I'm glad to pass the favor along to you now. Who's the patient?"

"The Duchess of Huntington."

Lonergan blinked. "Will, I'm 100% behind the theory you're talking about here. But the Duchess is such a high-profile patient. What if we try it on someone a little further from the public eye, just to make sure it works?"

"I've already talked to her about it. And we'll have a back up plan in place, just in case something goes wrong."

"Will, this is serious business. The Duchess is our major benefactor. If we couldn't provide as promised..."

Will shrugged. "Talk to her yourself. I think you'll find yourself agreeing with me on this one. She has to be the first patient. And the press it brings will make the other money men sit up and take notice."

"You know that's never been a factor here, Will."

"I know. But the rest of the universe runs on who's got what. And we have to at least pretend to play the game to get along."

Lonergan thought a moment. "Okay. Show me what's you've got."

Will set a folder on the table between them. "This isn't tailored to Zan's--to the Duchess's injuries yet. I was just working with a simple spinal fracture with nerve damage."

Lonergan laughed. "There's nothing simple about a spinal fracture, Will."

"From a cybernetic viewpoint, there it. It's just one replacement. The Duchess suffered multiple severe fractures and crushing injuries." He looked down at the paper, picturing Zan there instead of the generic human outline, and tried not to tense. "I'm thinking of a combination of replacements and supports." He quickly sketched inside a blank outline. "A new spinal system from the high break down, and pelvic bone, complete with hip sockets and replacement balls on the femurs. Maybe a whole new left femur. Definitely a new left knee. And reinforcement over all the old breaks in the tib-fib and ribs."

Lonergan stared at the sketch, seeing the surgery involved. "You're going to lay her open and put everything back together again?"

"I can't do it myself. I need a surgeon. The absolute best you can find, who's willing to try something way off the charted course. We'll sit down, the whole surgical team, the Duchess, and the two of us, and lay out every step. Every cut, every needle, every screw and pin. It has to be perfect the first time."

"And you think this will work?" Lonergan asked, staring Will straight in the eyes.

"I know it will."

Lonergan waited a moment, then closed the folder, and Will slumped. It was too much, too far to reach, too big for anyone else to see...

"Assemble your team. Let me know when you need me to pull strings or get you new candidates or anything. Don't be afraid to try a dozen doctors in the role as lead surgeon. We're going to do this, Will, and EVERYONE will know it." He stood and moved over to his desk, pressing the intercom button. "Charlotte, call Records. Have them pull
everything on the Duchess of Huntington and send it to Mr. Hart's office. The sooner the better. And call the UESC as well. Find out what we have to do to get her medical records from them as well."

"Aurora Landon will help with the UESC records," Will said. "I can ask her myself."

Lonergan nodded. "Fine. Charlotte, never mind the UESC. But see what you can do to get every medical record for her you can. I want a complete medical history. Every vaccination, every flu. I want to know how many head colds she had when she was six. Are you with me?"

"Right on it, sir. Everything directly to Mr. Hart?"

"Every scrap. The sooner the better."

"Very well." The intercom clicked off, and Lonergan looked at Will. "You have a big project to work on, son. Better get started."


Will leaned back in his chair, staring out the window as the call made its way to Earth. There was a distant ringing, and finally, a receptionist picked it up.

"SL Industries, Aurora Landon's office. Good morning and how may I help you?"

"Aurora Landon, please. It's Will Hart calling."

"Just a moment, Mr. Hart. I'll see if she's free. May I put you on hold?"

"Sure."

"Thank you. Just one moment please."

There was a click, and hold music filled the line. Will shook his head. Even with money and connections, Aurora still had awful hold music. Fortunately, the wait was short.

"Mr. Hart? Thank you for holding. I'll put you through now." Before he could thank her, there was another click, and the line was ringing, then picked up.

"Will? How good of you to call."

He puzzled over her comment for a moment, then glanced down at his deck calendar. February 9. Oh, damn.

"Uh. Heh-heh. The truth is, I just now realized what day it is. But Happy Birthday, anyway."

"Well, it's a surprise for both of us, then. How are you doing out there at the far end of nothing?"

"Pretty well, to be honest. The Sentroid project went over big, so I'm more or less running the Cybernetics Division at Phoenix."

"I'll pass that on to Krys. She'll be so pleased that he was of use to you." She was silent a moment. "You know Emily moved, right? None of us can keep up with her."

Will closed his eyes and sighed. "I know. I'm just not ready to talk to her yet. Or about her, either."

"Well, you know my number when you are. So what can I have the pleasure of doing for you today?"

"I need a favor, and it's kind of involved."

"I'm not really busy. Scheduled myself a light day with a long lunch as a present. What do you need?"

"Do you know your mother sent me a sample of Argentium IV?"

"No, but I know she planned to. She must have finished it over Christmas. The General Council has been making noises about asking me to ask for a sample. I keep pointing out that NexTech is an independent company and can do what they want with their product. What about it?"

"I'm planning a trial. Internal structure replacement."

She whistled. "That's big, Will. Really big. Nobel-prize-winning big."

"I don't care about that. The test subject has been selected, and she has some medical records with the UESC. I don't need service records, just pre-injury medical stuff. That's not classified, right?"

Aurora scribbled down a note. "I don't think it is. Why? Trying to keep me out of your business?" she laughed.

"No. I just know how much you carp every time you have to leave home. Can you get them for me?"

"Sure. One way or another. What's the name and unit?"

"Zannatasia Izzabella Vernadeua. Wild Hunt Squadron, IPF-8. Huh," he said, mostly to himself. "That's Jon's old unit."

Aurora felt herself freeze, then continued carefully. "It is, at that. Interesting. So what's your fax number? I'll call someone I know in Records, and if that doesn't work, I'll go down myself."

He gave it to her. "Thanks, Aurora. I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem. Good luck." She was gone.

"Yeah. I'm gonna need it." He leaned his elbows on the desk and stared down at the calendar. February 9. His friend's birthday, and he'd forgotten. More importantly, it was the day Mon*Star had escaped. It had been news, even on Earth, and when the call went out the next day for volunteers, he and Emily had exchanged one look, then moved in unison to their CO's office. Now this day had another meaning, the day he started to put Zan's life back together, and his own. He flipped the calendar forward a few months, and put his finger down. Five months. By July 9, this project would be ready to go, come Hell or high water.

There was a knock at the door, and he looked up. "Come in."

Katie entered, pushing a rolling cart before her, piled high with folders. "The files from Records are here. Charlotte is checking on school heath records, but we may need Her Grace to sign a release."

"I'll get it if we need it. Call down to the cafeteria and have them deliver lunch up here for us. We're working through. And see if they'll send me dinner as well. I'll be here late."

"Do you need me to stay late as well?"

"No. You go home as usual and get a good night's rest. I'll have a list a mile long for you tomorrow of people I want contacted, so you'll be on the phone all day."

She made a note. "Okay. What do you want for lunch?"

"Salad and whatever the sandwich of the day is, and regular coffee delivery. And call Dr. Lonergan. I want the best surgical suite he can get for July 9. Got all that?"

"Salad and sandwich x2, coffee all day, and a surgical suite on 9 July."

"The best suite, with an observation room."

She adjusted her notes. "Got it. I'll be back in a few."

"All right. I have some reading to catch up on." He picked up the first folder and opened it, starting to read the cramped handwriting.


At 5:30, Katie stuck her head in the door to say she was leaving, and Will gave her a wave of dismissal. She had held up well at first, but as the list of specific injuries grew, her eyes started to water, and it didn't take an empath to see that she was struggling not to burst into tears. To save her dignity and his own, he sent her off on a make-work errand, then set her to work compiling the list of doctors he needed to contact at her own desk. He'd deal with what was starting to look like a ruin on his own.

A few minutes after she left for the evening, Will's fax machine rang once, then began to spit out pages one after another. He picked up the first and read it.

Dear Will,

Got a line on the info you asked for, and had it faxed straight to me. Thought it would be better if it went to an officer first, just in case. Hope these help. Good luck, and feel free to call if you need anything.

Much love,

ASL

PS I may get older, but I refuse to grow up. J/K


Will flipped through the pages as they came in. Four years worth of medical history made a large pile, and he organized them by year, sorting out regular physicals, training injury records, psych evaluations. At the end, there was another note.

W,

Couldn't get any film over the fax line. Will make other arrangements.

XOXO

A.

He looked through the papers and sighed. The pieces of information he'd been most interested in, X-rays and CT scans, were not included. There were written notes referring to them, so the records at least existed, but for the moment, he had no better visuals than what he could imagine or draw for himself. The already long night was looking even longer.



It took several knocks at the locked but lit door before Zan received any answer. "In." Will's voice was abrupt, like he'd been startled out of something.

"I brought you coffee," she said, holding up a thermos.

Will stood by the side of his desk, leaning over it as he scribbled something on a sheet of paper. As she looked around, Zan realized that there were quite a few pieces of paper, on the desk, the chairs, stuck to the walls, and the giant whiteboard was literally crawling with calculations that seemed several orders of degrees beyond algebra. "You said you'd be back a little after ten," she continued. "I started to wonder."

Will looked at the clock with a puzzled expression, as if uncertain where the hours between 9 PM and 1 AM had gone. "Huh." He looked over to her. "What size shoe did you wear before?"

"Shoe size?"

"Yeah. I don't have the CT scans from Earth yet, but I can estimate from shoe size what it should be now..."

"Will, what are you talking about?"

He clearly wasn't listening to her, only hearing some technical gibberish in his own head. "Wait, never mind. I'll just measure your arm, because the foot is in ratio to the forearm, and I can get a length for the bone from there and figure what the femur and the tib-fib  are...." He pushed aside more papers covered with calculations.

"Unless you broke your forearms," he continued. "Did you break your forearm?"

 "Uh, Will? What are you talking about?.. Err.. right forearm when I punched one of the new Hawks in a bar fight back in Limbo... just before the trial between Jon and Mike and Krys...Why?"

He was muttering to himself again. "The measurements may be a little off from right to left, but I can make the adjustments in the knee anyway...Mostly cartilage...have to find some kind…of replacement... That's fine, since it's the left I'm worried about now... compound break or hairline fracture, because if it was just a facture, the length won't be affected as badly..." Whatever he was working on that involved her shoe size, it was occupying his entire mind.

Or maybe there was a part of his mind she could still reach. She walked around behind him and blew gently in his ear. "Earth to Will Hart, come in Will Hart"

He whirled around, nearly hitting her. "Oh, sorry," he muttered. He reached for a ruler and measured her left arm, then turned back to work some figures, muttering about numbers under his breath. "Just....a....minute.....Got it!" He turned and lifted her up, swinging her around and around in the cluttered office. "It's going to work. It's going to work!"

She yelped in surprise. "Mind telling me what's going on?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulder.

"You are going on. Lonergan gave me the green light. Anything and everything, and I got the numbers I needed from Earth. All I need now are the raw materials and the people to do the job. And the game plan, with every play, every player, in black and white." He let her down gently but didn't release her.

Her surprise turned into a broad grin. "Yes!" She grabbed his head and pulled it down, kissing him. There was nothing innocent or chaste in her kiss.

Somehow moving as a unit, they managed to tumble onto the sofa rather than the floor, and it became a tangle of hands searching for bits of skin to touch. Moans and harsh pants for breath filled the air. Zan wiggled from one side until she was straddling his lap and worked free several of his shirt buttons, her cool hands slipping in against his chest. He had pulled up the back of her shirt an was running his hands across her shoulder blades.

The rattle of a janitor's cart just outside the office made them pull part, panting harshly.

"We should go," Will said, retrieving his hands from inside her clothing.

She stood up abruptly. "Yeah. I guess so." She shrugged back into her coat. "My horse is waiting, anyway."

He slid a hand behind her neck and stared deep into her eyes. "It's going to work. I'll see you back at the palace. Be careful." He kissed her forehead and watched as she left.

"I will,” she said, and was gone.


By the time he made it home, everyone but the guards on duty and a few servants were asleep, Including Zan. He was tired but elated at the same time. When he arrived at his room, he changed out of his clothes and crawled into the bed. He had debated getting a shower but decided to skip it in favor of sleep. As he was falling asleep, his mind re-played out events of a few hours earlier.

~~

Somehow moving as a unit, they managed to tumble onto the sofa rather than the floor, and it became a tangle of hands searching for bits of skin to touch. Moans and harsh pants for breath filled the air. Zan wiggled from one side until she was straddling his lap and worked free several of his shirt buttons, her cool hands slipping in against his chest. He had pulled up the back of her shirt an was running his hands across her shoulder blades.

~~

As he slept, somehow, that event got taken further when his imagination took over.

~~

He felt her shiver under his hands as he worked his way across her shoulder blades and down her back. He heard her small gasp as he slowly slid them around her sides then up to cup her breast under the material of her shirt. His thumbs caressed her hardening nipples.

She pressed in for another kiss, lips parted slightly as she did so. She felt his lips part in response as she slid the tip of her tongue across them. Capturing his bottom lip she sucked it gently, letting her teeth scrape the soft tissue. He groaned in response.

Hands sliding across kin, the ridges of the scars only enhancing the sensation. Fingers finding buttons to part the cloth that hid the skin below. A soft groan of pleasure, whether his or hers it no longer mattered, as her hips rocked against his. She could feel his arousal straining against the fabric of his pants.

“..lift your arms….”

Fabric obscured her vision as she lifted her arms and he pulled her shirt off. His hands traveling across exposed skin. They fumbled a moment as the clasp of her bra tried to deny him access. With soft chuckle at his slight growl of dismay she reached back and undid it for him, turning that growl into a groan as she kissed him again.

“.. lean forward some..” she mumbled into his mouth as the last button of his shirt came free. Her hands slid up and over his shoulders pushing the fabric down his arms.

He pulled first one arm then the other out of the sleeves, wrapping them about her back as he continued to lean forward. His mouth working its way down her throat to finally capture one of her breast.

She arched her back with a louder gasp of shocking pleasure as the wet heat of his mouth suckled at her breast. His tongue caressing the nipple. She threaded her hands though his hair as he switched from one to the other for what felt like forever. It was just as shocking when le let go, the cool air against damp skin.

He twisted where he sat, laying her down on the couch. His kisses traveling down her stomach. He looked up at her as she propped herself up on her elbows.

“Please Will, don’t leave me hanging.” She begged, face flush with desire.

“I don’t want to hurt you…” a sigh as he turned his head away a moment before looking back at her  “….I’ve… never…”

“You won’t… just do what comes natural…” she assured him with a smile. “Let your instincts guide you. I trust you, Will. I. Trust. You.”

He knew in his heart that she did and leaned over her to capture her lips in another kiss as his hands undid the buckle of her belt. He slid the zipper of her pants down and gently tugged.

She managed somehow to kick off her boots at the same time as she lifted her hips so that he could remove her pants. As he did he slid of the couch to kneel on the floor, his hands caressing her legs and inner thighs. Kissing his way up her leg to her inner thigh he felt her tremble under his touch. Indeed he let go of conscious thought and let his instincts take over. It wasn’t long after that, that she was arching her back, panting heavily as he brought her closer to the edge of release. He took his time, teasing a frustrated growl from her. Hands working across her body, teasingly light touches that enflamed her passions. He brought her to the edge and over, savoring the feeling of her release as he kissed his way back up her body. He could feel the thundering beat of her heart as she lay there under him panting, a thin sheen of sweat covering her.

“my turn” was all she said as she gathered her strength again. This time it was him on his back and her removing his pants. After several moments of silence he lifted his head to see what she was doing. She was just sitting back on her heals staring.

“what?” a sudden sense of insecurity hit him.

“ ‘acres and acres and it’s all mine’ ” a lopsided grin.

“huh?”

“punch line to joke I read.”

“oh…ooohh!” he dropped his head back with a groan as she caressed him.

What he did for her, she was going to do for him. She kissed up his inner thigh, nuzzling against the base of his arousal. Trailing her tongue up the underside, then circling the top before she took him in her mouth. It took a moment or two before she got a steady rhythm going. When she did he was writhing in pleasure, hands digging into the couch cushions. Fingers kneading his flesh as she paused to nip gently. It wasn’t long before he reached his own release.

But he wasn’t spent completely yet. He reached down and gently tugged at her hand. She grinned as she slid up his body, causing him to shudder in pleasure. Once again she was straddling his lap. She felt him growing aroused again.

“my do you have a fast recovery.” She said teasingly as she wrapped her arms about his neck.

“Lots of stamina.” He teased back as his arms went about her waist.

“Looks like it’s on to more serious business then.” She returned, kissing him again.

“That wasn’t serious?” his hands stroking her back.

“That was just the prelims. This is the real thing.” She said reaching down to stroke him a few times. She shifted slightly as she lifted herself up.

His hands went down to her hips as she positioned him. He groaned as she lowered herself down onto him. She shivered, letting out a small mew of momentary pain. He looked at her in concern, about to offer to stop when she shook her head.

“Your not hurting me.” She explained as she kissed him, easing his fear of doing just that. “it just takes a moment or two to adjust.” Nuzzling into his neck. Once she felt she was ready she slowly started to rock her hips.

He was a very fast learner and soon was matching her rhythm. Somehow they again ended up stretched out on the couch, with her under him. Her legs hooked behind his thighs, fingers digging into his shoulders. Most of his weight was resting on his elbows. They spiraled higher and higher in their mutual passions. He felt the small tremors though her body as once again he brought her to the edge. This time he joined her in that journey.

She shuddered as she went over the edge, her body tightening around him sending him over also. His world went black for a moment before an explosion of light went off in his mind. Like a supernova of rioting colors before he collapsed, spent and exhausted, on top of her.

~~

He woke with a groan, propping himself up on his elbows. His dreams had been interesting and disturbing at the same time. As he came more fully awake, he realized that there was a disturbing feeling of sticky dampness on him. He lifted the sheets and glanced down then dropped them quickly.

“no.. no no no no…..this can’t be happening to me.” He fell back onto the bed, running a hand though his sweat tangled hair. “I’m too old for this to be going on….It’s just not right.” Images from the dream flashed though his mind, causing him to react as any warm blooded male would react.

With a moan of dismay he threw the sheets back and stumbled to the bathroom. Reaching blindly for the shower controls he turned them on. Stripping out of his soiled boxers, he stepped into the flow of water. He gasped at the icy coldness, but it had the desired effect. By the time his teeth were chattering and his skin was turning blue, he switched to hot water. It would not do anyone any good if he got sick.

When he got out of the shower he wrapped the towel about his waist and moved to the bathroom counter to finish his morning rituals. Wiping away the condensation from the steam off the mirror, he glanced into his face, then had to look away. He just could not face himself this morning. Part of him wanted to run to the nearest Priest and confess his sins and do the penance. Another part of him knew there was nothing sinful about what was happening. But both were in conflict with each other.

He was glad he had left a note that he was taking the day off. It was late enough as is, right now. By the time he was feeling ready enough to leave his room, it was near lunch time.

As he entered the dining room, everyone was just sitting down. He mumbled an apology for being late and sat down also.

“Don’t worry about it Will. Considering how much you’ve been working lately, I’m surprised your even awake at the moment.”

He nodded but didn’t look at her.

The meal progressed, though there was little conversations between Will and anyone else. He’d tend to mumble something and concentrate on eating. Zan chalked it up to the amount of work he had been doing for the last few weeks.

As soon as he was finished he excused himself and left.

Zan had hopped he would stay around long enough she could apologize for being so forward last night. She just sighed and shook her head at his retreating back.

Looks were exchanged between Mac, Kali, and Kit. Something was going on and they were in the dark about it at the moment.


Will returned to his room, upset with himself over what went on at lunch. Though it all, every time he glanced at Zan, those images came back to his mind, creating that much more turmoil in him. He was embarrassed enough about what he dreamed last night, but to have his body react that same way while he was awake was just too much. Making sure his bedroom door was locked, he undressed and headed for the bathroom and another shower. He even made sure the bathroom door was locked after he entered it.

He ached in certain places. One that was so strange yet somehow hauntingly familiar. Instead of a cold shower though, he made it as hot as he could stand. Stepping into the flow of water, he hissed from the stinging pain, making sure the glass door was shut firmly. It didn’t take long before the entire bathroom was clouded with steam. Taking himself in hand he started out slowly at first, letting the memories guide his actions.

Those memories turned to others less pleasant and more damning. Of his first experience doing what he was doing now.  Of his ‘looking in’ on his sister as she experienced sex for the first time and being caught pleasuring himself. Memories of him ‘watching’ each time it happened, of feeling trapped in her pain and humiliation, of feeling her partners pleasures at taking her. Of the taunting he received in high school every time he ran from the girls that offered him ‘a good time.’ Even that one time in Hawk Haven when he had planned on taking an hour or so in one the VR room came unbidden. Of feeling the rutting lust from Jon and of the pain that turned to pleasure from Krys coming from one of those rooms.

By the time he was spent, his skin was red from the heat of the water. With a sobbing moan he slid down to his knees, curling inward. His body shook with exhausting as he managed to climb back to his feet. Reaching out automatically he took the rough sponge and started to scrub. It didn’t matter that there wasn’t any soap on it, just that it was there. He left not a single inch of skin untouched. The white of his scars turned pink as the rest of his skin turned blood red. In some spots he had even managed to the blood to the surface. The water was turning pink as it streamed off him, yet still he scrubbed, his memories hounding him. Of how it was ‘bad and evil and sinful.’

He had fled as soon as he could to cower in his room. Emily had found him there later, sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, his head buried in his arms. "Will, what is it?'  she had felt the images from his mind, simply held him as he rocked back and forth, while a steady anger burned for those that had hurt her brother.

The water had turned cold again, he was shivering, and the pink had dwindled away as the scratches bled out. He turned off the water, crawled out onto the bathroom floor as the images continued to loop in his mind.  Zan, Emily, Jon, Krys.. the memories got stronger as they reran in his brain, images that he could not shake.

Still sobbing, he curled his fist and started pounding it on the bathroom floor. “Leave me alone… please…” it was a bare whisper in the silence of the room. But the memories would not, they only taunted him more. Zan’s words came to him as well as the emotions involved. Of her time in the POW camp…

The dirty faces of the men beating her, their fists crashing into her body over and over.  The debilitating pain, and their cruel grins.  The wider smiles as they tore at her flight suit, yanked open her legs. Her violation, over and over, different faces same pain.  The bleeding from her center and her legs where they had scratched at them, cut her legs with knives.  His mind shrinking horrified away from the images that would not go away.  He was dimly aware of blood spots on the floor of the bathroom.

At some point in time the memories let him go, leaving him exhausted and alone in the brightly lit room. Mechanically he got to his feet and cleaned everything up. He didn’t even bother to cover himself up as he unlocked the door and headed for the bed. As sleep took him, he wished for the comforting embrace that Emily use to give when he was like this.

In passing he heard the light knocking of someone checking on him. He must have said something because they left him alone after that. He also received a note From Dr. Lonergan that he had the all the days off that he needed, ‘Sick Leave’ as it were. When he was up and about, he had his meals in his room to avoid seeing Zan or anyone else. After the first couple of days his room was getting to be too confining.


He was walking down one of the halls, shoulders hunched, his head down watching his feet. He stopped in mid step when he saw a familiar pair of boots in front of him. Slowly raising his eyes he saw Zan standing there, head tilted to the side slightly, looking concerned.

“Will? Are you ok? I’ve been worried about you.”

He opened his mouth to say something but couldn’t get anything out. A panicked expression crossed his face as he turned suddenly and walked away.

“Will?.. Will!” Concern colored her voice.

He heard her call his name but he ignored it. Then he heard it, her steps following him. He speed up his pace and hers matched. Turning blindly down one hallway then another till he was lost. He came to a dead end, no where to run anymore. He had been so focused on his work that he neglected to find out where everything was in the Palace. He stood there, shoulders hunched as he panted in harsh breaths. His hands clenched into fist by his sides. He flinched when he felt her hands come to rest on his shoulders.

“Will, will you please tell me what’s going on? Is it something I’ve done? Please, tell me so that I will know what to do.” Her voice soft and coaxing.

He did the first thing that came to mind. He turned and kissed her. Seriously kissed her,  not just some polite peck on the lips. His arms going about her shoulders as he held her there. He felt her lips part under his, his tongue slipping between them to taste her. She tasted of coffee and cream, of smoky cloves and icy mints. It was intoxicating to him. Intoxicating and shocking at the same time.

She was startled at first, but sagged against him, her arms wrapping about his waist to keep herself standing. This was better then she could ever imagine it would be.

Just as suddenly as he started he stopped and just slumped against the wall  "Oh, God.  I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.  I didn't mean..." looking anywhere but at her.

It takes a moment or two to get her breath back but when she does "..Sorry? For what?.. Damn it Will, I'm not a mind reader. You have to tell me for me to understand." She gave him space though she wouldn’t have minded getting a whole lot closer.

"Things....I can't stop seeing....can't stop feeling....It's all mixed up...."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes letting it out slowly as she reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh dear lord in heaven...what is going on?"  She opened her eyes again, taking his hand and tugging lightly. "Come on, we have to talk, but privately."

Will flinched a little but didn't pull away.  "Okay."  He knew he was defeated.

Zan found a nice private, out of the way little room, a small table, a couple of deep winged back chairs, a wet bar. She guided him to one. "Sit."

He fell more than sat, elbows on knees, face in hands.

She ran a hand though her hair as she moved to the wet bar and grabbed a bottle of hundred plus year old whiskey and a couple of shot glasses. Once those were in hand she returned and sat down across from him, pouring 2 shots. Sliding one over to him, she took the other and tossed it back.

He shook his head.  "It doesn't make them go away.'

"No but it makes them easier to talk about. Liquid bravery is what I hear it's referred to."

He raised the glass.  "To courage in a bottle."  And gulped, coughing and sputtering afterwards.  "A very old bottle."

"It was given to Papa Charlie back when I was a kid. It was over a hundred years old then." She poured another round but left it sitting on the table. "Now then....Talk to me."

He shook his head. "You don't want what's in my head.  It's too ugly."  It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it felt to complicated to explain.

"Will, I lived though 2 years as a POW. There's little now that can do anything to me anymore. If I don't understand, I can't help. and if I'm not helping then I'm only adding to the problems." Leaning forward in the chair some.

His palms slid up to his forehead, and she could hear his voice, low and hollow.  "I could see them.  Hear them.  Feel them.  Just before I woke up, all I could think was 'Please, let me die.' Tell me it wasn't that bad.  Tell me I'm imagining things."

"Who, Will?"

He looks up at her in anguish.  "I was you."

"...Goddess..." it came out a strangled whisper as she slips back into the chair. Her mind racing over the implications of his words.

He was trying to figure out how to tell her the other part.  The 'good' parts. The century old whiskey started to work.  "There was more..."

She motioned for him to have another shot as she downed her second.

He had another, more slowly this time.  "The other night, at the office..." He waited till he was sure she was listening.  "We weren't interrupted."

She just slowly raised an eyebrow at that. "I honestly wish we weren’t," she said, a half smile playing on her lips. "Dreams are good, but they are never as good as the real thing."

"It...felt pretty real..."

She just nodded. "What went on?" she asked, curious now.

He was beet red as he blushed.  "Everything."

She chuckled softly then turned serious as she leans forward again to grab his hand in hers. "Tell me something, and be honest with me. Have you ever had sex? In any form what so ever."

He closed his eyes.  "I've never been with a woman."

"I'm guessing that you've never been with a man either." She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles.

"No!"

She smiled and shook her head then stood and moved so that she was able to crouch next to the arm of his chair. "There's no shame in being a virgin Will. I can't claim to be one myself, but I can claim to be inexperienced. Same difference as far as I'm concerned. Don't look away either. I want to see your face, not the back side of your head."

"I keep thinking about you.  I didn't want you to know."

"I'm flattered that you do." She continued to caress his hand. "I think about you. You’re the first person in years that has captured my attention like this. And not just for what you are doing to help me either. Do you want to venture a guess as to how long?"

He looked at her, blinking, waiting for her to go on.

"Years, Will. For almost 10 years."

"Since...  That long?"

"Yes." She chuckled softly at some of the memories. Of her watching from afar in the HummingBird, everything but the long range visual scanners shut down. "Surprised?"

He blinked, then blinked again. “A little.  Why didn't you say something?"

"What would you have said to someone that worked with the Mob regularly? Would you have thought it was just to get inside info on everyone there? Tell me honestly if that would have crossed your mind, or the others’. We would have worked together on a smuggling ring if things had not gone the way they did. I worked the deal out with Aurora, then a week later she was gone and someone else commanding."

The world turned upside down that day, he thought.  "Jon read the recommendation and trash-canned it.  He said if you had information that good and he could prove it, you could use it to turn state's evidence and save yourself from hard labor.  He was different, then.  Angry.  We'd gotten the news about the engagement."

She just nodded. "And if he tried to touch me though the law, New Eden would have responded very harshly.  It would have been a fiasco like no others. Queen Katrina was still alive back then." She shakes her head a moment. "Let's play a game of suppose. Suppose it was accepted. Suppose we worked together and feelings were said then. When I had to return here, would you have followed me?"

He sat there blinking, the thought had never occurred to him before. "Yeah. I would have liked that very much."

"We lost the chance back then, but we have it now." standing up, she moved in front of him. "Nothing has to happen right now at this moment, unless you want to that is."

Will wrapped his arms around her waist.  "I just want to hold you."

Zan slid on to his lap wrapping her arms about his shoulders. "Sounds like a deal and start to me."

He threaded a hand through her hair, holding her head against his shoulder.  "It's like I have to convince myself you're still alive.  Still here.  That this isn't all too good to be real and I'm in some elaborate nightmare.  I don't know how you could survive."

"I had a lot of help. And a lot of support. I found out it was Kit that found me after I had been left for dead. Maybe that’s the reason he’s here, I don’t know." She was enjoying the feel of his hands running though her hair. He seemed to be able to find just the right places. “I'm curious....Are you an empath like your sister? It's the only explanation I can come up with on how you know about some things."

"Yeah...I don't like to do it, but sometimes, I just...get stuff.  Bad stuff.  Stuff I wish I could just forget."

"Maybe I could help you forget about 'that stuff' Or bring it to light to show that it wasn’t as bad as you thought" nuzzling against his neck as a shiver of pleasure runs though her as he his fingers find just the right spots.

The effect she had on him was equally intoxicating.  "Zan...Mmmm...Let me get some distance from it.  Some perspective."  He tightened his grip and she was warm and solid and decidedly real in his arms.

She snuggled into him, feeling secure in his embrace.

It was a long time before they moved apart.

-----

By the end of February, he had tracked down, with Katie's able assistance, most of the doctors and nurses who had seen Zan, and was compiling a comprehensive list of every procedure she'd undergone, every drug used, and every note made on her charts. The only area still lacking was a vital one, though. The doctor who had performed the original repairs on she crushed and shattered bones remained elusive, either on the other line, in consultation, or out of the office. Will was normally very patient, and he could understand that the doctor's current patients would come first, but in nearly a month, the man had found no time to return his call, and frankly, time was running out. The surgical team would have to be assembled in a matter of days, and the first thing he wanted to cover with them was her entire medical history.

Frustrated with yet another offer to leave voice mail, Will slammed the phone down. "Damn well go and get it myself if I have to," he muttered. He called out sharply at the knock in the door. "In," then regretted it. Katie had been put off by the doctor's staff at least three times for every one of his.

"Mrs. Stargazer from Earth to see you," Katie said, poking her head in the door.

"Thanks, Katie. Show her in. I'm sorry I snapped."

"I'll try New Light again," she offered.

"Don't bother. I'll probably have to go myself and make noise."

She nodded and opened the door further, ushering Carolyn in.

Will stood up to greet her, and hugged her warmly. "It's good to see you again, Carolyn."

"It's good to see you too, Will. I take it you got my little present?" She sat where he indicated, the fine wrinkles around eyes and mouth lending her a certain feeling of maturity and wisdom.

"I sure did. And I have a test for it that will really push the limits."

Carolyn smiled. "I heard something like that from Aurora. She asked me to bring you a little present of her own." She opened her briefcase on her knees and pulled out a brown envelope, handing it over. "She called it a reverse birthday gift, and that you would know what that meant."

Will opened the envelope and pulled out sheet after sheet of CT scans and x-rays. "I do know what she means. She's done me a huge favor." He studied each sheet quickly, then returned them to their envelope. "Will you thank her for me when you talk to her next? These are going to help a lot."

"Of course. May I ask what the project is?"

"I'll do you one better. I'll show you what we've done so far, and you can meet our volunteer tonight, as well. I'm sure she'd love to meet you." He escorted her out of his office and down the hall to a conference room where the project, nick-named "Bionic Woman" was taking shape. She studied the preliminary sketches, the lists of requirements, and the still forming lists of what was needed and available.

"You seem to have it under control, Will, but it's huge. Are you sure you can do this?"

"Almost certain. And we have a back-up plan in the works as well, to convert the old exo-frame to the new material and clean up some of the mistakes that were made the first time, just in case." He watched as she frowned at the close-up photos of Zan's current structures. "Carolyn, who do you work with at New Light Medical Solutions?"

Now she frowned at him. "I don't know that we have a contract with them at all. I don't remember every company off the top of my head, but I usually recall if I've seen their name on a project request." She pulled a thick black organizer form her shoulder bag and flipped it open. "I don't see any listing here for a New Light of any kind. Who are they?"

"They did that," he said, pointing to the pictures she had looked at.

Her eyes grew frosty. "If they did, it was without our permission. When was it done?"

"Spring 1988. I didn't think anyone had a contract for the Argentium at that time aside from the UESC."

"No one did," she said darkly. "Do you have the serial number from her armor?"

"Yes." He picked through a short stack of papers. "Here it is. LSA-6529-I. That 'I' is strange. No one else had a letter on the end."

Carolyn looked distressed. "No. They wouldn't. The 'I' stands for Incomplete. That armor was intended for someone else, but we had come up with the Mark II in the meantime, the decision was made to use it instead."

"Aurora was the first Mark II recipient." He stared at the photos. "So this was supposed to be Aurora's armor?"

"She was next on the schedule. After the UESC switched to the Mark II, this must have been stored somewhere, and someone with more greed than sense decided to sell it to some unscrupulous surgeon looking have the first private use." She sighed. "Will, I feel awful about this. How can we make it up to your volunteer? We should have requested this model back as soon as we knew it was going off-market."

He shook his head. "I don't think anyone would say it was your fault. You can't anticipate the greed of every random person. But if you think you would have any pull with the people at New Light, I'd appreciate your help getting the records from them."

"As good as done. Can I borrow your office for a while? And I'll need your fax number here, and a copy of the medical information release. I'm not letting them go until I have whatever it is you want."

She'd shooed him away from the office with instructions to take a break and see if someone would send her a cup of tea, When he returned a half hour later, she was standing behind the desk, watching the fax machine intently, phone still in one hand.

"No, you may not go now," she was saying. "I don't see pages printing out on my end. And I suggest if you want to get those films here overnight, you get someone there to shift themselves. It's a twelve-hour flight, as I am keenly aware, and you are running short on time. The address is Mr. Will Hart, care of Phoenix Medical, New Ziveu, Huntington, New Eden."

She listened to someone on the other end for a moment.

"No, I would not say that at all. There is still the matter of your company using technology that was reserved for military use only at that point. Is that espionage or treason?" The fax started to offer up black and white pages, and she turned around. "Well, I suggest you get your lawyer to explain it to you. Good day!" She dropped the handset into its cradle.

"You got it?" Will asked, handing her a cup of tea. He immediately started riffling through the faxed sheets.

"Yes, after pointing out that they may never be considered for a NexTech contract if they didn't become a great deal more cooperative. The films are being overnighted, and if they're not here before I leave in the morning, I'll call and rant at them again."

Will tore himself away from the grainy pages covered with cramped writing. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Do you mind if I go back and look at some more of what you're planning."

"No. Go ahead." He waved, buried back in the messy writing.

She chuckled softly and left.

-----

Zan looked up as the door opened, then smiled as Will stuck his head in. "Hi. Did they come out?" she asked hopefully.

He nodded, coming in and closing the door. "They're going over them now. They'll ready to see you in just a few minutes." He stood in front of her as she sat on the side of the examining table, holding her hands. "How do you feel? Still want to see them all at once? We can do it one at a time."

"So I can be a guinea pig 6 times over instead of once?" She shook her head. "No. I'd rather just get it over with."

He leaned in and kissed her brow. "I want to be sure they understand, so they may be a while looking at you."

"I know. I'm just glad to be doing something now." She squeezed his hands. "Did I ever thank you for this?"

"Thank you for trying with me." He was hovering in close when there was a knock at the door. "We always get interrupted," he murmured, then straightened up and moved over to the door. He looked back at her. "Yes?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes."

He opened the door. "Doctors, the Duchess is willing for you all to conduct your examinations at once."

Zan lifted her chin as the doctors filed in, casting aside the feeling of being a single goldfish in a very large bowl. She nodded as the murmured introductions, then stood and let then do their work.

Will saw the tension creep across her face and slipped around the edge of the room to stand in front of her. He took her hands again and held them. "Try to ignore them," he said softly. "It won't last forever, I promise."

She nodded and set herself to endure the prods and questions.


The doctors had gathered across the room, talking in a quiet circle as they compared notes.

"Do you think they're done?" Zan asked as Will handed her a robe infinitely more comforting than the hospital gown.

"I'm not sure." He frowned as he looked at them.

"Something wrong?"

"No. Not really." He shook his head. "I never liked the 'I am the Hand of God' complex doctors seem to have. I'll see where they are now." He squeezed her hand reassuringly, then moved to join the doctors. On the way, he caught the door as it popped open.

"Is this the room? Sorry I'm late." Will watched a young man almost bounce into the room. "I'm Brad Daugherty. Someone said I could see the Duchess of Huntington in here?"

Will blinked as his hand was grasped and shaken enthusiastically. "Uhm, yeah. I'm Will Hart, the-"

"Oh, I know all about you, Mr. Hart. I've been following your advances in Cybernetics for a while now. I've got to say it's a real honor to meet you. I saw your conceptual Sentroid plans when I interned at NexTech. I have got to say that's the most creative stuff I've seen yet. At least, it was. Mrs. Stargazer told me about what you were planning, and when heard you were looking for a doctor to do the surgery..."

"You're a doctor?" Will asked, still trying to catch up on the one-sided conversation.

"Orthopedic surgeon, yes. I got my MD at Harvard, and I've done residencies in a lot of different hospitals. And I worked one summer in the Research Lab at NexTech. That's where I met Mrs. Stargazer. She said you were looking for someone to do something new with the Arg."

"Arg?"

"Argentium. That's got to be the coolest stuff I've ever seen. And the way it's super malleable until it's been kindled? That's so amazing. You don't still have any of the original on you, do you? No. I didn't think so. I did a paper while I was still pre-med on cybernetics, but I never dreamed I'd really get to see any. This is like a dream come true." He looked past Will to where Zan sat on the table. "Hey, hi there." He walked over as Will watched.

He approached Zan with his hand out. "Brad Daugherty. I'm a doctor."

"Umm.. hi." Zan tentatively accepted the hand, glancing past him to Will with an arched eyebrow as it to say, Is this guy for real?

Will shrugged, but Brad didn't notice. "So I hear everyone calls you Her Grace. That's cool. I'm not graceful at all myself. More of a klutz, especially when I'm nervous. But don't worry. I've never like, dropped anything in a patient. So it's cool."

"Uh-huh." The other eyebrow went up. She shrugged slightly. "It's just part of my title."

"That's cool. Last girl I knew who had a title, man, it should have been 'Queen Bitch of the Universe.' Wow. So I have these papers, my resume and recommendations and stuff.?" He turned back to Will, handing over a folder with papers hanging out the ends. "I should give them to you, though, right? Cause you're the guy in charge."

Zan reached up and covered the beginnings of a grin. shoulders shaking slightly as she muffled her laughter

"So what do you do, Your Grace? I mean aside from being graceful and all?"

She cleared her throat a moment to get rid of the laughter. "Graceful is not something I am. Just watch me limping about after a sparing match with my head of security." She shrugged again, but she was smiling. "You mean besides getting into trouble every now and then?"

"Her Grace is the Duchess of Huntington," Dr. Lonergan put in.

Brad was paying him no attention. "Well, if the big man's right, we can fix the limping some. Unless you totally suck. Can't do much about that from my end. You tangle with other kids a lot when you were young? Healing injuries during bone growth are different than later on."

"Shot down while defending New Eden." She left it at that. "And I'm not THAT bad, he's just that damned good."

"Okay, so I'm guessing you were more than 10 or 12. That's cool. Tough girl. Works for me."

"We have her Grace's medical records available." Dr. Lonergan tried again.

"Cool. I just like to check for myself." He turned back to Zan. "Okay. This is the part where I have to get touchy-feely, but only if that's cool with you. Okay?"

She nodded absently, finding him amusing if nothing else.

"Okay. So hop on down and..." He looked over to the cluster of doctors. "Hey, guys. Can we have the room? The lady's not wearing rabbit ears or a tail."

Will opened the door. "Gentlemen, why don't we give Dr. Daugherty a few minutes." He waited as they filed out, then closed the door, remaining inside.

"So you're with her?" Daugherty asked. When Will nodded, Daugherty did as well. "Cool. Okay, your Grace. I'm gonna have a look. Tell me if I bug or anything."

"'Magic and technology, voodoo dolls and chants, electricity will make, weird science. Fantasy and microchips, shooting from the hips. something different will make weird science,'" she muttered as she got down off the table.

"Cool. Boingo. Only the best, right?" He peeled the gown apart a little at the back and slid it down over her shoulders. "You mind holding this a minute, Mr. Hart? I'd like her Grace to let her arms hang down naturally."

He pulled a stethoscope out of his inside jacket pocket. "I'm gonna start with some normal doctor-type stuff." He set it to her back, and it was warmer than some of the other devices she'd felt that day. "Go ahead and breath for me. In and out, deep as you can."

"Weird Science movie soundtrack, Fast rifts on the guitar." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She felt relaxed, less tense than she had during the exams by the others.

"Oh, yeah. I just like most of their stuff. It's different. Now take a deep breath and hold it, and I'm going to make sure you're still alive." He didn't see Will flinch, but she did, and smiled at him, mouthing, it's okay. "Well, good news, your Grace. You are officially alive. Now I'm gonna have a closer look at this bionic suit of yours."

"Good thing, I'd hate to find out I was a zombie all this time."

He parted more of the back of her gown. "Wow. I hope you're not offended or anything, but this sucks. I mean really. I've seen real Argentium applications, and this looks nothing like them, almost. I mean, it's the real stuff and all, but whoever did this knew jack about it. No offense."

"None taken and your right. It does."

He pressed her in a few places with careful fingers and noted her reactions, then crouched down to examine her hips and legs. Finally, he stood. "Okay. You can go ahead and put the gown back on, or your clothes or whatever."

"Do you want to review with the other gentlemen?" Will asked.

Brad shrugged. "Not really. I know their type. They're all out there trying to decide if they want to gamble their reps on something like this. I know I'm not what you really wanted, Mr. Hart. I'm not mature, I'm not experienced from here to Jupiter and back again. And I probably talk too much. But I have something they don't have. I believe in it.  I've seen what Arg can do, and I think you're headed in the right direction. I don't care about fame or money. I care about science and people. I'm probably not what you thought you wanted, but I'd bet I'm what you need."

He shook Zan's hand again. "Good luck, if I don't see you again." Then he walked out of the room.

She was humming softly under her breath, lost in thought. "Hmm? Thanks.. " she said to the closing door. "Don't know about you, but he's interesting. If nothing else for his chatter."

"He's right that he's not very experienced," Will said, flipping through his file, "but what he has is in all the right places. It would take two of any of the others to match his areas of study."

Zan nodded absently as she dressed, then started chuckling. "Damn, now I have that song stuck in my head."

Will sighed. "So what do you think? It's more your decision than mine. He's not operating on me."

She hopped back up on the table, swinging her feet and looking at the ground while in thought. "I like him," she said, ticking off numbers on her fingers. "1- He spoke to me as a person. 2 - He asked first before prodding around. 3 - He's got good taste in music 4 - Are you SURE he doesn't have the energizer rabbit logo on him somewhere? Oh, and 5 - his stethoscope WASN'T ice cold!"

"I wasn't looking for body art, myself. He was the only one who didn't treat you like their personal project. I don't know if his taste in music is relevant, but his bedside manner is. Okay, Zan. You have yourself a surgeon." Will opened the door to the hall, finding it nearly deserted. Only Brad Daugherty remained, leaning against the opposite wall. "Where did everyone go?"

"Off with Dr. Lonergan to tour the facility."

"You weren't interested?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to wait and hear what you decided first. But it looked like a cool place from what I saw getting up here. I might hang around a while before I head home."

"You'll be hanging around a long while." Will held out his hand. "Welcome to the project."

Brad shook it enthusiastically. "Wow, you mean it? This is too cool. You won't be sorry. Mr. Hart." He ran in and shook Zan's hand again as well. "You'll see, your Grace. You won't be a bit sorry."

Chuckling again at his enthusiasm, Zan glanced at Will with a smile. "I hope not."

Brad pumped her hand a few more times, then realized what he was doing. "Oh. Sorry, You're gonna need that." He turned back to Will. "When do you need me to start?"

"I have some files ready to-"

"Cool. I can do that right away. This is great. It's moments like this that made me become a doctor." He looked from Will to Zan. "I'll just wait in the hall, okay?" He was out again in a flash.

Still smiling, she slid off the table and walked over to Will. "Well, looks like that part is out of the way, what's left?" She reached up and draped her arms over his shoulders, threading her fingers through his hair.

He smiled at her touch. "Everything, it seems. One more thing off the list just adds another somewhere else. I have to get the good doctor started on the files and fill him in on where we are with the designs for the replacements and pain management.... Maybe it's a hundred new things for every finished thing."

"One step at a time." She rested her head against his shoulder. "One step at a time and everything will get done."

-----

“So how are we doing, Brad?” Will asked, pausing in the young surgeon’s open door.

“On schedule, Mr. Hart.  I sent the specs for the pieces we need to NexTech and gave them our deadline.  The promised on a stack of Bibles to have it here in time.  We’re still up in the air about the cartilage replacement.  And I think I have a lead on an anesthesiologist for us.  Can you meet him this afternoon?”

“I think so.  Call Katie and have her write it down for me.  Let’s go over the cartilage replacement again.  What’s wrong with the saline implants?”  Will asked, entering and sitting down.

“I just don’t think we’re going to see the best performance out of them.  You know the stress Arg puts out at joints.  If we use saline, even in the high-test format, I think we’re going to find Ms. V. developing joint pain in a few years.  We could always go back in later and make replacements, but this is a one-shot self-contained deal.  No one wants to go back every 7 to 10 years to upgrade things.”  Brad leaned back in his chair, feet up on the desk. He referred to it often as his thinking pose.

Will nodded.  “So sell me on silicon.”

“It’s a much higher grade than used previously used, and the containment material is super-strong.  I’m absolutely certain we won’t have a leakage problem.  And it’s resilient enough to provide 35-40 years of use before it loses elasticity.  And it will hold up during that time even taking into account Ms. V.’s activities.  And three days ago, I would have said go for it without hesitation.”

“But now?” Will asked.

“When I talked to Mrs. Stargazer, she said to hold out a little while.  There’s something cookin’ in her kitchen, and she wants us to have the first taste.”

Will’s mouth twisted in a wry grin.  “Why does that sound so awful?”

“She’s serious. It has something to do with the Arg IV.  I told her I’d let you know.”

“Okay.  When is your anesthesiologist arriving?”

“Supposed to be here at two.  Bring him by your office then?”

Will nodded.  “Sounds good.”  He stood up.  “I’ll see you later, Brad.”

“Cool.   Later, Mr. H.”


He sat at the desk in the study, a book open in front of him. The only light came from the desk lamp. It illuminated the text in the book and not much else, but he didn’t see those words. He hadn’t for some time now. His mind was in some far distant place. He didn’t hear when the door opened and closed behind him.

“You Ok?”

He blinked then looked up and let out a sigh. “Yes.. no… I don’t know anymore.” Reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes.

“It’s Emily isn’t it?”

He just nodded. “How did you know?”

“Call it a good guess.” She laid her hands on his tense shoulders, rubbing them. “Besides, I know what yesterday and today are.”

“And what is that?” He leaned back in the chair and into her hands.

She turned the chair so that it was facing her. With that she slid into his lap, arms about his neck. She felt him tense even more when she did. They had come to an understanding about what happened several months ago, but he was still shy about some things.

“Happy Birthday Will.”

“How’d you..?” He was taken aback that she knew it was his birthday. No one had ever asked and very rarely was it even celebrated. He looked into her eyes, searching for a moment.

She chuckled softly. “I own ZIV Enterprises Unlimited, which is the parent company of Phoenix Medical, whom you currently work for. So in essence, you work for me. And don’t you go shutting me out.” She tapped him on the nose with a finger. “I’ve never stood on formality, and I’m not about to start.”

He smiled somewhat at her. “All right.”

“I’d offer you a birthday present, but I don’t have anything at the moment. And what I would love to give you… Well…” she chuckled again, “you’d turn as red as a beet”

He got the picture and started to blush. “I.. uh… umm…”

“See I told you.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle some. “You’re a wicked woman Zanna.”

”I try to be. But still, let me at least give you this..” With that she leaned in and kissed him.

He hesitated at first but soon enough, he returned it.

They spent the rest of that night, or rather early morning, enjoying each other’s presence and talking about small things that had nothing to do with the upcoming events.

-----

“Mac…Mac!”

“Here, Master Hart.  Can I help you?”

Will stormed out of the study, face cloudy.  “Where’s Zan?  I can’t find her anywhere I the house.”

The seneschal wrung his hands, an old nervous habit.  “She’s gone out, Master Hart.”

“I could have guessed that much.  But she left without a word about where she was going or when she would be back.”  The long days at the office as the surgery drew closer had started to wear even on Will’s long-suffering patience.

Mac, the former Yes-Man, still twitched occasionally when the former SilverHawk’s eye fell on him.  “She… She was called away.”

“By who?  What happened?  Where is she now?”

“Out in the Plains, sir.  She received an e-mail from someone with some troubling news and immediately made plans to travel to Earth.  She contacted David before she left.”

“When was this?”

“She left early yesterday morning to collect David then go on to Earth.”

Will stopped in his tracks.  “She’s been gone over 24 hours, and I only just noticed?”

Mac nodded.  “You went to the office before she left yesterday.  Then when you returned today, you locked yourself in the study and left orders not to be disturbed.”

Will scarped a hand through his hair.  “Sounds like a good chunk of it’s my fault.  Okay.  Put everything on hold here.  I’ll head out and see if her folks have seen her.”  He started to walk away, then turned back.  “Thanks, Mac.  Sorry if I was a little abrupt.”

“Not a problem, sir.  Next train to Cherokee leaves in 15 minutes. You should hurry.”

Will waved and jogged off.  


The bench under the tree was quite comfortable to Will’s way of thinking, and he sipped at his steaming coffee appreciatively in the cooling night air.

A bonfire blazed cheerily in at pit at the center of the clearing, and rings of figures danced around it.  Though invited to join them, Will had declined.  He still knew too little about the observances Zan’s adopted family followed to feel completely comfortable trying them himself.  One thing was completely clear to him, however.  Whatever their particular beliefs entailed, they were all completely serious about them.  As soon as the fire had been it, the champagne bottles and glasses had been whisked away, and clans had settled themselves in different areas, listening intently as Michael Sr., Kestrel in Flight, had stood and began speaking.  The sing-song quality of his Cherokee was beautiful, even though Will had comprehended next to nothing.  No one had seemed surprised when David and Adryanna had bid everyone goodnight early in the evening and returned to the cabin they were borrowing from David’s older brother, James.

The dance broke up, and Zan slipped onto the bench next to Will, leaning into him and panting a little.  “Gods,” she breathed when she had the breath to spare.  “I haven’t done that in a long time.”

“Really?” he asked flatly.  In the first rush of his arrival, his nervous irritation had evaporated, but now, in spite of the beautiful night and the celebration, it was returning.

Aware of his moods, Zan studied him through narrowed eyes.  “What stick crawled up your butt?” she asked.

“If I knew you were going to have a family reunion this close to the surgery date, I would have pushed it back some.”

“It’s just one of those things, Will.  I couldn’t control the timing.”

“Maybe not, but you could have left me a note.  ‘Hey, I’m flying off in an experimental craft to rescue my brother’s girlfriend from her family, most of whom no one really understands.’”

She stared at him as if he’d gone daft.  “I called your office.  Repeatedly.  Katie swore she’d give you the message.”

“I didn’t get anywhere near my office until well after Katie left.”  He studied her a moment in the flickering of the bonfire.  “We’re probably both to blame here, aren’t we?”

“There’s probably more than enough to go around,” Zan replied non-committally.  “Will, you have to understand something here.  This is my family, the only one I really had growing up, and if they call, I’m going to do my darnedest to come running.”

“Adryanna has a family quite a family of her own to take care of her.”

Zan closed her eyes and shook her head a moment.  “You’re not seeing the whole picture here, Will.  First, her family was responsible for essentially abducting and confining her against her will, and her parents were forbidden from interfering.  Second, she’s one of my fledglings, too.  Not like the others; she’s too old for it.  But she was still a very bitter child six years ago.  And third, David is my brother, and he is completely devoted to her.  If anything got between them, including her so-called relatives, he’d be crushed.  So it’s as much in his best interests as hers.”

He thought back, to the times he had run to Emily’s side with less consideration or concern for others.  “I was worried when I realized how long you’d been gone,” he confessed, wrapping an arm around her.  “It only occurred to me then how long it had been since I’d seen you last.”

“Can’t go a day without me?” she teased.

“Not by choice.”

She kissed his cheek and stood, pulling him to his feet as well.  “Come on. We’ll say good-night to everyone and catch the early train back in the morning.  Neither David nor Adry are going to be noticing anyone but each other for quite a while.”

-----

She had been feeling edgy lately and she knew why, she just didn’t want to say anything to anyone about it yet. At least, not to anyone other then those already involved. She would have preferred to work out the tension by sparing with Kit, but that might cause more problems then it solved. So instead she retreated to one of the smaller rooms, to stand in the dark and brood.

She stood there staring out the window, watching the moonlight play on the fountain of the courtyard below. The lights were off and on the stereo the soundtrack to the movie Backdraft played. She didn’t turn as the door opened then shut softly behind her.

“Mac said I would find you here”

“Mac’s a tattle tale sometimes.”

She could see his reflection in the window as he walked up behind her. Gently he placed his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“Me? Never. I mean what’s there to be nervous about? Only going in for a life changing surgery in the next few days….” She hugged herself tighter.

He knew how much of what she said was bluff and how much was the truth. He slid his hands down her arms wrapping her in a hug of his own. “We can cancel..”

“No.. I made my decision and I’m sticking to it. I never back down on my word. You know that by now.” She leaned back into his embrace. It always felt like she was being covered in a warm blanket. Safe and protected. “Will?”

“Hmm?” His chin rested on the top of her head.

“Are you sure your not a broadcast empath?”

“No. Why?” Curiosity colored his voice.

“Anytime you’re with me I feel like I’m surrounded by a warm blanket, safe, protected and loved.” She said turning in his arms, bringing her arms up to drape about his shoulders, burying her face against his chest.

“Because you are.” He placed a finger under her chin and gently lifted her face up so that he could look at her. “Because I love you.” He leaned down and kissed her. Not on the cheek, but on the lips this time. A gentle, chaste kiss.

Which soon blossomed into something more as she returned it, letting him know without words that she loved him in return. After it ended, by mutual consent, they stared each other in the eyes, lost within each other. “Stay with me tonight? Stay with me always?”

“You only have to ask.” He rested his forehead against hers. He reached down and picked her up, cradling her against his chest as he turned. “It’s late and we both need sleep.” He took her to her room. He watched as she slowly started disrobing.

“Nothing between us tonight. Just you and me. Please?” Her dress slipped off her shoulders as she asked.

His breath caught as he watched her. He had seen her nude before, but that was always during an exam or a test. This was something completely different. Sensual, without the overlay of lust or sex. He nodded and started to get undressed, not trusting his voice at the moment.

They slipped into the warm bed together, adjusting to each other with an uncanny easy. As if they were meant for each other. That night they slept together, nothing between them, heart to heart. Her arms about his neck and shoulders, head cradled against his neck. His arms about her waist, hands gently stroking her back and sides.

-----

Will studied the shining metal structure in its static-free sterilized wrapping.  From what he could tell, every line, every angle, every connection was perfect.  It lacked only the tiny electronics, stored in their own static-free and antiseptic box, and the cartilage replacements they would use to cushion Zan’s new joints.

Brad stood in the doorway.  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?  NexTech is so cool.  This has to be the biggest project I’ve ever seen, and they turn in the goods on time and perfect.”

“I’ll reserve judgment until I see how it all works together.  And I have yet to see anything resembling a cartilage replacement.  Where are we with that?”

He grinned broadly.  “Mrs. S. is in your office with the goods right now.”

“She’s here?” he asked, shocked.

“Said she couldn’t let anyone else deliver her company’s pride and joy.  And she’s ready to show you how the new cartilage stuff works.”

Will clapped him on the shoulder as he passed.  “Great.  You want to look at it some more?”

“Oh, yeah.  I’ll never get tired of looking at this stuff.”

Will laughed all the way to the elevator.


Carolyn stood up as he entered his office.  “Hello, Will,” she said smiling broadly.

“Hello, Carolyn,” he said, hugging her briefly.  “Welcome back.”  He stepped back and leaned against his desk, gesturing for her to sit.  “I wasn’t really expecting you to come with the implants yourself.”

“I couldn’t resist.  I owe your Zan a very large favor; one I may not ever be able to repay.”

He stared at her a moment, then realization dawned.  “Oh.  Adryanna.”

Carolyn smiled.  “Yes.  Aurora says my granddaughter is very happy now.  So.  Let me show you our latest toy.”  She reached into her attaché and pulled out a small white tube.  “Hold out your hand,” she directed.

He did, and she squeezed a dollop of cool blue gel into his palm.  He sniffed it carefully, then spread it around with his finger.  “Okay.  I’ll bite.  What-”

There was a knock at the door, and Katie stuck her head in.  “The duchess is here, Mr. Hart.”

Will looked at Carolyn, who shrugged.  “I took the liberty.  I hope you don’t mind.”

“Send her in, Katie.”

The door opened wider, and Zan walked in.  She moved to hug Will, but he waved her off, displaying the handful of blue goo, and she nodded in understanding, turning to Carolyn.  “Welcome back., Mrs. Stargazer.  It’s good to see you again.”

“Thank you, Zannatasia.  It’s good to be here.  And I want to thank you for the aid you offered by granddaughter.  Aurora says she’s quite happy.”

“Just about as happy as my brother, I’d guess,” Zan replied.  “You came to watch the procedure?”

“Yes.  And to bring Will the last piece of the puzzle.  We only just finished it very recently.”

Will let the blue gel run from his hand into Zan’s.  She prodded at it with one finger, and let it slide from one hand to another.  “What’s it for?”

“It’s a cartilage replacement.  It’s designed to work specifically with the Argentium IV skeletal structure.”

Zan probed the puddle more carefully.  It moved easily around her hand, leaving nothing behind but a dampness from alcohol.  “It doesn’t seem to stick to much,” she observed.  “What’s going to keep it in place?”

“Give it back to Will, dear, and I’ll show you.  Will, do you have that sample of the Argentium I sent you?”

He reached across the desk to pluck it from the top of a pile of papers.  “Sure.”

Carolyn pulled an identical rod from her attaché.  “Dip the end into the gel,” she directed.  He did, and the gel seemed to come alive, sucking itself up to form a ball around the end of the rod.  She extended hers as well.  It settled into the blue mass, and then she let go.

Will fumbled at the added weight, but recovered quickly, lifting the other bar and pulling on it experimentally.  The blue gel stretched between them, but didn’t separate from either end.  Then he pushed them together, and though he could get them quite close, the gel wouldn’t allow them to touch, either.  “Hey.  That’s pretty neat.”

“Let me try it,” Zan asked and he handed it to her.  She stretched them as far as she could reach, but the gel never faltered.  “Nifty.”

Carolyn handed Will three industrial-sized white tubes.  “Bard knows how to use it,” she said.  “I brought plenty.  A little will work, but there’s no reason to be sparing.”  She stood and kissed Will on the cheek.  “I’m going to talk to Brad.  I’ll see you children later.”

Zan didn’t look up from her contemplation of the abstract joint in her hands.  In a few days, something very like it would be holding her up.  

“So this is the last piece?”

Will sighed.  “Yeah.  Last piece.”  He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.  “You ready?  Not much longer now.”

“I guess so.”

-----

‘Twas the night before the operation, and all though the palace, everybody was pacing, including…. darn it what would rhyme?’ she thought to herself as she went though the stacks of CDs searching.

Several hundred CDs were stacked all over the place, on the chairs, on the floor, the counter top before her even had CDs scattered over it, along with a pad of paper and some pens. She had forgone the coffee in favor of herbal tea. No caffeine in it. She picked up the cup and took a sip grimacing. “Damn, I miss the coffee. Hell, I miss my cloves, but a promise is a promise.” She muttered to herself.

She had a pair of headphones draped about her neck. Each went to a different player. She shuffled though the CDs again, adding to the growing pile on the counter. When she was finished she set the rejected CDs on a chair next to her. “Gonna have a lot to file when I get back.” She sighed, rubbing her eyes with a finger.

She put in one of the CDs into the small player and pressed play as she pulled up the right set of headphones. She adjusted them so that sat just forward of her ears.

Zan was finishing the third CD when the door opened.

"You've been at this for hours," Will said as he leaned in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

"So speaks the man that vanishes into the study for days at a time," she replied as she switched CDs again, tossing some into the discard pile.

"It wasn’t days."

"Close enough."

"You're going to be exhausted tomorrow." He was still in the doorway.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't I going to be asleep most of tomorrow?" she asked, turning to look at him, an eyebrow arched slightly.

"Nick doesn't need to compensate at the last minute for you being exhausted." He moved out of the doorway to join her.

"I'll be done in a little bit. Just got to fill this last CD."  She turned back around and scribbled something down on the notepad.

"All right."  He sat down in an empty chair.  "I'll wait."

"You'll be bored.”

”I can deal with that,” he replied, leaning back, hands clasp over his stomach, closing his eyes.

After a while of comfortable silence, for the most part, she pulled the headphones off completely and let them drop to the counter top. “Well, that’s it. The last of the soundtrack is ready to be done.”

He opened an eye and looked at her. “This isn’t a movie we are going to be doing tomorrow,” he pointed out.

“No, but it will be an epic in it’s own right,” she said cheekily as she loaded the CDs into the changer. Pulling out the keyboard drawer from under the counter she turned slightly and started entering commands. The machines whirred to life a moment later. “There, that’s finished.”

“Good, now you can go to bed.”

“Not just yet. I want to be sure it finishes then I’ll go to bed.”  She shoved the keyboard back under the countertop and stood, stretching her shoulders as she did.

He winced at the sound of her back popping. He winced again as she started popping her knuckles. "Quit that."

"Quit what?" She glanced at him.

"Popping your knuckles like that. It’s not good for you." He sighed.

"Are you going to stop me?" she asked as she started picking up the discarded CDs to put them away.

"I just may," he replied

"And how will you do that?"

"I'll find a way," he said standing and wrapping his arms about her, pulling her close. He rested his chin on her shoulder.

“By distracting me?” she chuckled softly as she reached up to run a hand though his hair then beard.

“If it works.” He grew bolder and nuzzled her neck some.

She started to giggle as he did. “Damn it that tickles.”

“What tickles?”

“Your beard.” But she wasn’t pulling away from him either.

“Then I’ll shave it off.” He grinned.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Make you a deal then. I wont shave if you stop popping your knuckles.”

“That’s blackmail.”

“I know.”

”Where’d a sweet natured guy like you learn to play dirty pool?”

“From the same person that gave me a chance.”

She just chuckled again. “Flatterer.” She lets out a sigh as she leans back into him. “Alright, alright. I’ll go to bed.”

“Good.” It was all he said as he continued to hold her.

-----

Zan tried not to pick at the IV already in place in her arm.  The prep room was quiet and deserted; the doctors and Will in one last conference before the procedure started.  Tethered to an IV of muscle relaxant, Zan lay in the bed and stared at the ceiling, unable to focus her mind enough to care that she was missing a discussion that could potentially be very important.

The door opened, and Zan let her head roll on the pillow to look at it.  Her foster mother Lisa came in, shutting the door softly behind her.  She came over to stand next to the bedside and rested a warm hand on Zan’s forehead.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure,” Zan replied.  “I don’t know if I really feel fine, or if something’s wrong, and I just don’t care enough to notice.”

Lisa smiled.  “That’s my heyoka.  All mixed up.  Everyone’s praying for you at home.  They all want this to work out well.”

“I’m scared,” Zan confessed.  “What if it doesn’t work?  What if I can’t be free of this stuff?”

“You have lived this long with it.  Will said if the replacement didn’t work, they have a more comfortable exo-suit.”

“But what if I’m not enough?  Lisa, I never…”  Medicated, Zan couldn’t think of a way to finish her sentence.

Lisa leaned over to kiss her forehead.  “Shhh.  All things in their own time.  Don’t worry about running until you can walk again.”  There was a tap at the door, and she squeezed Zan’s hand.  “I’ll see you when you wake up.”


Carolyn opened the door to the darkened observation room, slipping in next to Will.  He stood at the glass, staring down on to the surgical scene.

Zan lay face-down on the table, barely recognizable under a closet-full of drapes.  Brad and Nick, the anesthesiologist, were watching a series of monitors, evidently satisfied by what they saw.  Through the speakers in the observation room, Carolyn could hear them quietly reviewing the last minute details, the soundtracks Zan had made playing softly in the background.

“Okay,” Brad said to the room below.  “We’re ready to begin the index endo-skeletal replacement procedure now.”  He took his place at the operating table and confidently lifted a scalpel.

Carolyn pulled Will back from the window.  “You don’t want to watch this part,” she said.  “Wait until they’re underway.  No one needs to see someone cut into a loved one, even when it’s for their benefit.”

He fell into one of the chairs.  “I wonder sometimes if I should have ever brought this thing up.”

“You have a big heart, Will.  You can’t stand to see a person in pain.”

“She’s still going to hurt when it’s done,” Will said.

“Not as long.  The pain will fade as she heals.”

“I wonder sometimes what I’m saying with this; if I’m saying she’s not good enough as she is.”  He sighed deeply.  “Because she is.  She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

-----

“Zan.”

It was dark, but for some reason, she wasn’t afraid.  She could feel a warm hand in hers, hear her voice called, but she was floating on a cloud of nothing in an endless sea of nothing.  And she wasn’t afraid of it.

“Zan, wake up.  It’s time to wake up now.”

She squeezed the hand in hers, to let the familiar voice know she heard him.  But she wanted to drift just a little longer.

“I think she’s coming around,” the voice said.  “She’s responding a little slowly, but it’s not a problem yet.”

Zan let one eye crack open, and found herself staring at a field of white.  She blinked a few times, but the white remained unchanged.  She squeezed the hand again, wanting answers.

“We have a mirror under you, so you can see us.  We don’t want you turning your head just yet.  Squeeze my hand again if you understand me, Zanna.”

It was warm, wonderful Will on the other end of the hand in hers.  She squeezed, and he squeezed back.

“Okay.  I’m going to move the pillow so you can see.  Try not to move right away.  We’ll tell you when we’re ready for you to try something.”

His hand came into view and the field of white was replace with a sheet mirror and her own face staring at her.  She was propped on a doughnut pillow, supporting her head and neck.

Will came into view, holding a glass in his hand.  “Up to a drink?  Your throat must be dry.”

She blinked and squeezed his hand both, trying to convey that she would sell her soul at that point for a glass of water.

Fortunately, it didn’t seem to come to that.  Will set a glass before her and slid the end of the straw into her mouth.  “Not too much at first,” he cautioned.  “Vomiting won’t help your back muscles.”

She released the straw after a few gratifying sips.  “How did it go?” she asked softly.

“Like clockwork.  We didn’t excise all the scars, but those can be done another time, if you want.  We’re ready to turn on the transceiver whenever you are.”

“No time like the present.”

She saw Brad hover into view on her other side, and he pressed something into her hand.  “This remote will turn on the chip, Ms. V.  All you have to do is push the button whenever you’re ready.  We’re going to build you up to full-time 24-hour usage.  The battery will outlast the next Ice-Age, but you’re going to have to learn to walk again, and there may be times during the rehab period when you want to take a break.  But this is yours to use, so say the word, and we’ll see how it goes.”

Zan took a deep breath.  “Okay.”  He voice wavered a little, and she worked to steady it.  “Here we go.”  She pressed her thumb firmly to the button, and waited.  “I don’t feel anything,” she said, a note of concern creeping into her voice.

“You shouldn’t.  The drugs we used to numb you back and legs are still in effect,” she head Nick say from another part of the room.

“Go ahead and move your foot,” Will directed.  His voice came from the end of the bed.

She concentrated on wiggling her toes, but couldn’t feel if anything was happening.  “Well?”

“What do you think, Brad?”

“Yep.  I thought so.  How about the other foot, Ms V.?”

She tried to do as he asked, but her frustration was growing by the second.  “What’s going on down there?”

“The piggies are going to market, Ms V.  My prognosis is for a gradual but complete recovery.  You should recover more than 90% of your pre-injury mobility and flexibility if you work at it.”  She felt him rest a hand high on her shoulder, above the anesthesia line.  “It’s been a real pleasure working with you, Ms. V., and I’ll be in later to check on you, but right now, I have some notes to write up.  It’s been one wild ride.”  He and Nick left together, already speaking the language of journals and publication.

“Are we alone?” Zan asked after the door closed.

“Looks that way.  Lisa went to the station to pick up some of your family.  They’re going to take turns staying with you for a few days.”

“That’s just like them.”  She sighed.  “I can never thank you enough for this.”

“You don’t have to thank me at all.  I did this because I love you.  But Zan, when I told you about it, back in January and you’d said no, I’d still love you.  I love who you are, not what I can make you into.”

The drugs were still running through Zan’s system, making it impossible to focus enough to keep her usual walls up, and Will had reduced many of those to happy rubble already.  “I’m so happy you said that.  I needed to know it.”  She felt slow tears trickle onto her face and drip onto a mirror.  “Oh, crap.  I’m crying.  One of the best days of my life and I’m crying…”  She felt his hand come to rest on the back of her neck.

“Shhhh… You’re just tired.  Get some more rest.  I’ll be here when you wake up.”  She closed her eyes as he wiped away the tears, and it did feel better just to keep them closed.  “I’ll always be here,” she heard as she drifted off.

-----

The physical healing took very little time. Within a few days of the operation she had already started her physical therapy to relearn how to walk.

Her progress was slower some days then other as her temper flared. Not at anyone around her but at her own self for not being able to do some things. She was kept from brooding too much by Will, Her family, the fledglings and all those that called her friend. Within a week she was walking, though with much needed assistance. It was several weeks later before she could do so without assistance, though it was slow going.

During the night Will often stayed with her, just holding her though the night. Soothing her fears and frustrations when she made very little progress during the day. Sharing her triumph when she succeeded at something, even if it was something everyone else took for granted.

Days turned to weeks, and in turn, became months. A celebration was held when she reached an end to the first part of her physical therapy. Later that night a private, personal celebration of another type was held. Just between her and Will.

-----

Ruddy firelight gleamed over the pair, hiding the blushes that was surely there. The flickering light highlighted the pale scars that crisscrossed their skins. Shadows danced about the curves of both their bodies.

Nearby was a half empty bottle of wine in a bucket of ice, a pair of glasses next to it.
In the background music played softly.

Tilting her head to the side, casing the cascade of iron-gray hair to shift, giving it red streaks thanks to the fire. “Stretch out.” She said softly, patting the section of the huge fur rug they were sitting on.

Not trusting his voice, he nodded, his blush deepening for a moment as he uncurled from his position across from her. He stretched out on his stomach, pillowing his head on his arms. He felt more then hear her move, reaching across him. Skin brushing skin a moment sending a strange feeling though him. His breath caught in his throat a moment. “Wha.. what are you doing?” he finally managed to ask, not quite daring to turn to look at her.

“You’ll see, or feel I should say,” came the reply.

He caught his breath again as she settled just behind the small of his back, tensing up unintentionally. Shivers ran up his skin where her silky hair brushed it, just adding to the dizzying and conflicting feelings he was having. The sudden scent came to him as she opened a bottle she had retrieved. The scent was a strange, yet pleasant blend of familiar and un-familiar. Turning his head he caught her movement out of the corner of his eye. She was pouring a small amount of some liquid into the palm of her hand.

“Cedar, White Sage, Sweet Grass, Tobacco, Yellow and Red Sandalwood, Dragons blood  and a touch of mint.” She said as she rubbed her hands together. “I’m told it’s quite powerful for some people. But I’ve never felt anything when using it.” She placed her hands on the small of his back and started working upwards, massaging away the tension.

Slowly the tension bled from his muscles as she continued upwards, but whether from the massage or something else he couldn’t tell. He let out a soft sigh, drifting into a peacefulness. After a while he realized she was tracing each and every scar across his back. He felt her lean forward, her breath soft and warm against his skin. He gasp as she placed a soft kiss along one of the scars.

“I remember you saying that the scars were painful so I’m kissing away the pain.” She breathed into his ear. Then returned back to what she was doing.

It felt like an eternity that passed as she was doing that, yet not long enough.


The had both gotten bolder over the last few hours. Maybe it was due to the wine, or maybe it was due to them both becoming more relaxed with each other.

At one point he had become the proverbial putty in her hands as she explored his body. It was a strange mix of shyness at the oddest times, then bolder then anyone the next. She never asked him about what happened in the past. That in itself was one of the traits he loved most about her. And the fact she never teased him about his virginity.

She was stretched out next to him, her head propped on her fist, watching. The firelight casting flickering shadows over her body, making her both enticing and alluring at the same time. One hand trailed languidly across his bare skin.

Catching her hand he shifted to his side to look back at her, bring her hand up to his lips and brushing a soft kiss across her palm.

She giggled softly. “It tickles.”

He arched an eyebrow. “what does?”

“Your Beard.”

A smile formed on his lips. “Oh? Really….”

“Really.”

He grew bolder at that comment and leaned closer, rubbing his cheek against hers eliciting another round of giggles from her. Reaching out with one hand, hesitant for a moment until he saw her nod ever so slightly and smile, then tracing a gentle finger down her shoulder. She lay back, letting him take his time exploring her body as she had explored his.

As his hands traveled the planes of her body, he drew gasps of pleasure or giggles of delight from her. She was like an untouched treasure to him, no matter what her past was like. He watched in fascination as her body reacted to his touch. It only encouraged him more.

Moving so that he was leaning over her, he nuzzled her neck, moving up to gently nibble at her ear. Then back down along to her collar bone. His hand traveled along her thigh then back up. He could feel the goose bumps along her skin. His hand so large, yet so gentle, cupped one of her breasts. Running his thumb across it he watched as her nipples hardened under his touch, drawing another soft gasp of pleasure from her. He needed no other encouragement as he rubbed his beard across her breast before taking it into his mouth.

Sliding his hand down along her body again to her thigh, then back up, feeling her shift under him to grant him more access to her body. Cupping his hand over her, he felt the warmth and dampness there. Caressing gently, listening to her soft moan.

She felt like she was on fire everyplace that he touched, arousing passions she had thought long dead. Never before had she felt such tender gentleness. She had kept her fear of him being larger then her well hidden. But in this light she saw that those fears were unfounded and let them go.

Trailing kisses down her stomach, he unconsciously catalogued her every reaction. The subtle arch of her back, or shift of a limb. The encouraging hand on the back of his head as her fingers ran though his hair. He wanted to know all of her, he wanted her, for more then just her body. He brought her to her peak more then once during that time, hearing her cry his name every so softly, yet so passionately at the same time.

He held her close as she came down from the experience. Listening to her breathing evening out once more.

“Please…” It was said so softly that he thought it was just his imagination, till he looked down at her face. There was a wanting in her eyes that matched the one in his. No other words were needed as he shifted onto his back, with her on top of him. His hands slid down to her hips as she shifted, her hands rested on top of his as he guided her down.

The feelings were beyond any words to describe. They only knew that it was right and that this was more then any ‘5 minutes in heaven’ as it had often been described as.

When it was all over, she was cradled against his chest, asleep, her arms about his shoulders as his were about her waist. Turning his head slightly he was surprised to see dawn lighting the windows in the east. It had been just after dusk when they started the night. He looked down at her sleeping face, the lines of pain he had seen there often were smoothed out, leaving her looking young and peaceful. Reaching out he grabbed the edge of the fur rug and pulled it across their bodies, slipping into sleep himself. Loved and loving in return.

*THE END*


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