Love and Laughter:
Balancing Act

(Dragor)

That woman was driving me crazy. Every few weeks or so it was the same thing. When she doesn't see her man for a while she gets mad and takes it out on me.

"Where Jester? What he doing? When he coming back? Why hasn't he called in so long?" How the hell am I supposed to know? All I know is that he said he had some business to take care of and that he would be back soon. I guess it wasn't soon enough for ChiChu. Sometimes I regreted agreeing to let her stay here in my aerie, but there was no other safe place for her to go at the time. For a while, Jester would come by to see her more often. Unfortunately during that period of time he spoiled her rotten. Now she expects to be served hand and foot. Boy I'll be glad when he gets back with our profits from the brothels. Once he gets here, she calms down.

"Honey, I'm home!" a voice shouted. Finally! I rushed downstairs to see Jester come out of the elevator. Of course, Chichu rushes pass me and practically knocks him over.

"Jester!" she would shout. Then the two would cuddle each other. Normally, I would enjoy watching any sexual activity, but this was just nauseating, even for me. "What you bring me?"

"Ah, ah, ah, Chi." Jester replied, holding a huge bag. "No peeking. It's a surprise, and I'll show you once I finish up what business I have with Dragor."

"Okay! I wait!" With that, she hurried off to the bed chamber upstairs. I approached my partner, hoping he got the goods.

"Tell me we made a lot of profit from our brothels." I said. Jester was too busy emptying out his bag of tricks. Oh, gods, what did he bring now?

"I need your opinion on something, Dragor." he said. He brought out this simple necklace with a weird indigo stone. It looked really expensive, especially with the diamond in the center of the stone.

"More jewelry, partner? Haven't you spoiled her enough?"

"Nothin' is too good for my Chichu."

"So you got a necklace. Big deal."

"Not just any necklace. This is a genuine, custom promise stone all the way from the Planet of the Mimes."

"Promise stone?"

"It's the Mimian's... engagement item. You know, like they do the diamond rings on Earth."

He's got to be kidding! "You're considering marrying her?!"

"Yep! Gone are my bachelor days, hello married life. If she accepts, that is."

"What about our business?"

"You do most of the work anyways, Dragor. Besides, I doubt Chi would have a problem; Mimians are allowed two life mates and ten play mates."

"I still can't believe it."

"Believe it, partner."

"You're marrying the one woman in the universe that is driving me to the brink of insanity!"

"And all this time, I thought you were already there." Jester smirked. "Give the gal a break; she is pregnant. It comes with certain cons."

"All because you didn't have the sense to use protection!" I snapped.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know this would happen? I still can't believe you used it."

"Oh, really?"

"Dragor, you never use protection. No matter what you say, that's a fact."

"I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid."

"Jester!" Chichu shouted. "Jester, where are you?"

"Coming, Chi!" Jester cried. "We'll talk about this later." He then placed the promise stone in its box and headed to Chichu. I'm almost tempted to tell Mon*Star everything that's happened. Almost; he'd strangle me if he knew I had anything to do with it. But I wonder if Jester's told Astrala about his marriage plans... after all, she is his baby sister; that's the only reason he doesn't screw her.

(Jester)

When I made it upstairs I found ChiChu sitting on Dragor's bed. She had both hands out in front of her and she was wiggling her fingers. I knew exactly what she wanted. I tossed her my hat and she put it on.

"You gonna get me black dress to go with hat?"

"We'll see, babycakes. But first I got something for you."

"Ooh! You brought me present! I knew you would! Is it new vibrator with special attachments?"

"Nah, nothing like that. Now close your eyes."

ChiChu closed her eyes as I went behind her and put the promise stone around her neck.

"Ok, you can open your eyes now."

"Oh, Jester! This a promise stone!"

"Yep! I had it custom made for my Chi! So whaddaya say we tie the knot?" That's when ChiChu got really quiet. She was actually speechless. She was taking a while to respond so I was getting kind of worried. "ChiChu, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Baby was kicking the sh*t outta my kidneys there."

"Umm...Chi, did you hear what I just said?"

"Yeah, you say you want to tie me up! I go get my rope..."

"No, no, Chi! I said 'tie the knot!'"

"What knot?"

"Chi, I want to know if you'll marry me!"

"Oh! Why didn't you just say so?"

"I did! Oh, never mind. I keep forgetting you still haven't quite gotten the hang of English."

"Okay, Jester. I will!"

"You will what?"

"Marry you!"

"Oh...you will! Hot damn! Wait til I tell Dragor!"

"Hey, Dragor!" I shouted. "Guess what?" My partner marched back upstairs and looked really pissed.

"You were about to tell me where my share of the profits are, right?" Dragor replied.

"Uh... they went into the promise stone, which Chi has accepted and now we're engaged!"

"Oh..." Dragor then picked me up by the shirt and brought me close to his face. "I'm going to kill you." he growled softly so Chi wouldn't hear him.

"Hey, you owe me from that time when we got back to Limbo." I told him.

"Point taken." Dragor put me down. I brushed myself off as Dragor started pacing around. He had that smirk on his face, the one he gets when he's planning something.

"So, are you going to tell Ala about this or am I?" he asked.

"Oh, no!" I replied. "No way we're telling no one about this!"

"But she's your sister. I'm sure she'd love to meet her new in-law."

"No dice. You know how loyal to Mon*Star she is! And he'll kill us all if he knew I had screwed the concubine of our dear ally, the MATI."

"Have it your way then. I'm getting out of here for some air; one more minute with her, and I'll send myself back to the Asylum Planet."

"Fine. We need some time alone to... celebrate our engagement." I looked towards Chi and smiled.

"You do that." Dragor said as he walked towards the balcony.

"Bring back something good!" Chi cried. Dragor cringed at the sound of her voice. I think this pregnancy thing is getting to him, big time.

"I'll see what I can do, sweet lady." His voice sounded pleasant, but I know he was reado to do some major damage. I could hear the Nebula Burner roar and he took off for who-knows-where.

"Now, Chi." I said. "Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean I should leave you bored." She gave that silly giggle as I began to find something to 'ease' her boredom.

(Dragor)

I needed to get out of there, fast! I also didn't want to risk leaving my baby alone with those two. Why me? I started to hear my pager phone ring. I waited 'til I landed on Fence before I finally answered it. "Speak to me, baby." I said.

"It's about time you answered." the voice replied. Ah, it was dear Molecu-Lar, my precious protoge. "I've been trying to contact you for an hour."

"Sorry, I was at the aerie; you know I don't make or take calls there. Don't want anyone to find it, especially the boss."

"And SilverHawks?"

"Mmm, maybe a certain steel lady could be an exception."

"Damn, Dragor, you're bold! So, what's up?"

"Besides my blood pressure, not much."

"You sound tense."

"Long story. What do you say we cause a little mischief on Bedlama? With any luck, we might lure some femme fatale SilverHawks."

"You sure about that?"

"Been hearing a lot about that rookie of theirs. I'm just curious as to her capabilities."

"Okay. Want me to invite Buzz Saw?"

"Sure thing! The more, the merrier. Meet you on the surface."

"Okay. Bye." I hung up my pager phone and headed straight for Bedlama. I really was looking forward to seeing Stargazer's new SilverHawks. It'll be good to see old Chrome Dome again. But trust me, I may have the worst reputation in Limbo, but when it comes to sex, I'm straight as an arrow.

(Camiel)

I was hanging out with my good buddy, Lorie, on Bedlama. I was trying to spend as much quality time with her as I could, for I was going to the SilverHawk Academy soon. Pahda was really proud of me, and I was looking forward to using my powers to defend Limbo Galaxy.

My Divore friend and I were chilling out in part of the forest next to the Crimea River, which turns into Weeping Falls further down stream.

"Lorie, are you sure no one's gonna see us?"

"I'm positive!"

"Ok, here goes!" I stepped out from behind a tree to model my new out fit.

"Wow, Cami! Your dad was right when he asked where the rest of it is!"

"Yeah! Isn't it great! I feel so...sexy wearing it!" I put my hands over my head and started swinging my hips.

"Cami, what's gotten into you? You don't usually act like that."

"Lorie, I just had my second growth spurt, so my hormone levels are really high and so is my libido."

"Cami, you're a virgin! How the heck are you gonna know what your libido's doing?"

"I just know, ok! I can't wait to finish my training so I can start on my Quest for True Love!"

"Cami, I don't think I like this new you. You've become boy crazy!"

"I have not! This is totally natural!"

"Well, you don't have to look so slutty."

"Slutty?!" Lorie and I then began to argue. I was pretty offended by what she said. All of a sudden, Lorie shut up and her eyes got really big. "Lorie? What's wrong?"

"B...b...behind you!" she stuttered. When I turned around all I could see was a wall of purple flesh. Lorie and I both screamed and ran like hell!

(Dragor)

After Mo, Buzz, and I landed on Bedlama we searched for a secluded spot for us to take our victims. We decided to find a place in the woods near the Crimea River. It must have been our lucky day because we came across two young girls. One looked Mimian, but she looked a bit too tall for her kind. The other was a Divore. The Mimian girl looked like she was giving a free show the way she was swinging her hips. And that outfit she had on was definitely a turn on! From what I could hear of the conversation, the dancing one was a virgin. Oh, how perfect! That's one of my specialties! I looked at my two partners in crime and nodded. I definitely had to get my claws on the fresh, young flesh!

(Mo-Le-Cu-Lar)

Damn it! I knew I should've tried to talk Dragor into letting me keep my shifting device, but no! He insisted that I screw someone as 'the real me'. Well, the way those two were running, I could've used it to turn into something fast.

Buzz-Saw slowed those two girls down a bit by cutting down a tree to block their path. They made a qucik detour to the right but Dragor was already there blocking the way. The Mimian girl ran right into Dragor, who picked her up by her waist.

"Where do you think you're going so fast, sweet thing? We just want to have a little fun, that's all. No harm in that right?" We found out quick that Dragor hadn't picked up an ordinary girl. She grabbed each of his arms and Dragor suddenly cried out in pain. "Arrg! That damned bitch burned me!"

I had a hold of her little friend and threatened to hurt her if she came any closer. Apparently my threat didn't phase her because she did what I feared the most. She opened her mouth and let loose this very high pitched scream. Damn, I hate those Mimians! That scream really did a number on my molecules. As soon as I lost my grip on the Divore, that Mimian bitch put her arms around her and they both vanished in a flash of light. Buzz-Saw, who's kind of slow because of his heavy metal bulk, finally caught up with us.

"What in the world happened to you guys?"

I wasn't qiute sure what happened. All I knew was I had a splitting headache!

(Fikkia)

Ever since he lost his favorite concubine Tkkla had been such a baby! He constantly complains that none of the others make as good a submissive as she did. I don't see why he should want the little slut back since we all know she's pregnant and Tkkla is not the pahda. No one has a clue who sired the baby. I suspect it might be one of Tkkla's 'trusted' harem guards. I told him he should have used eunichs! I do hope we find that stupid ChiChu! And when we do, I'll make sure she never even thinks about screwing around again!

In the meantime, we all had to deal with even bigger problems. Technically we were homeless and stranded in Limbo Galaxy ever since the Mobile MATI Base was destroyed, along with half our troops. Tkkla and I are also not too happy that our pregnant daughter is stranded here with us! It's a good thing Banji is such a good lifemate. Tifa is used to a certain lifestyle and he does everything in his power to accomidate her.

There was one good thing about our situation. We weren't broke. Profits were rolling in from Tkkla's products. We had to split the profits with Mon*Star, but it didn't matter. Business was excellent. Soon, we wouldn't have to live in a hotel in the Light Year Limit. We would be able to build our own mansion right here in Limbo.

We had contacted the Tiverts and alerted them of our situation. Master Jurai was sending reinforcements from Hnn country as soon a possible. For now, we we recuperating from our embarassing defeat. I couldn't wait til we got back on our feet so we could teach those SilverHawks not to mess with the likes of the MATI!

(Astrala)

Something funny was going on. I wasn't sure what, but I knew something wasn't right with Jester. Lately he hadn't been his usual grouchy, snappy self. In fact, he was in a great mood. It usually took me five seconds to piss him off. Now, nothing seems to be bothering him. Call me crazy, but I got the feeling the little imp was in love. That's the only thing that I could think of that could possibly change that little creeps personality. The question was who in the world could he possibly be in love with? I knew it couldn't be Glycerin. They hate each other's guts. I knew it couldn't be those two Mob upstarts Windhammer told me about cuz I'm told they are a couple. And I definitely knew it couldn't be me. I decided to do a little investigating to find out who had my older brother's head in the clouds.

(Dragor)

After the whole sebatacle, I sat down on the ground, looking at my arms. No one was ever able to wound me... ever. Even when I was fighting Stargazer's old team back in the day, I never got a scratch. Yet this girl... this strange Mimian... was able to hurt me. Damn. One of the burns had started bleeding. I'm going to make that bitch pay for this. No one makes the Saurian Cassanova bleed and gets away with it.

"I told you we should've gone for the assassination attempt." Buzz Saw complained. Molecu-Lar was still recouperating from his little headache. "Hold on. Is it just me, or did that girl look familiar?"

"Which one?" I asked, not really caring.

"The Mimian." My head perked up at that. "I don't know about the rest of you, but she kinda looks like the Copper Kidd."

"The who?"

"The Copper Kidd. Oh, I forgot; you weren't here when he arrived."

"He's one of those SilverHawks of Stargazer's, isn't he?"

"Yeah..."

"So what do we do now?" Mo groaned. "We go after the two girls or what?"

"Just the Mimian." I said. "But not now. Mo, didn't you screw a Mimian once?"

"It was a Mimian-human hybrid, but close enough. Wait a second... that hybrid was married to the Kidd."

"And judging from the resemblence and height, that girl must be his daughter." I concluded. "Now this is difficult."

"Why is that?" Buzz Saw asked.

"Well, I'm going to have to screw her someday--"

"Hold it!" Mo cried. "What do you mean, you get to screw her?! I want a piece!"

"Me too." Buzz Saw added.

"Mo, you already had the mother." I replied.

"Point, but still--"

"Tell you what. We'll all have a piece of her, but I get first taste. Agreed?"

"Agreed." my two comrades said.

"Now, for the difficult part." I said. "When the time comes for round two, do we send a holovid, or do we actually make him watch us defile her?" That was when the Mobsters started going into deep thought.

(Camiel)

When Lorie and I rematerialized in the physical realm, we landed on a hard metal surface. It took me a few seconds to realize we were in Hawk Haven. In the weapon's room to be specific. We both jumped up from the floor when we heard loud squawking.

"Great galaxies! What are you trying to do, kill me?!" We both looked down to see a startled Chatterbox on the floor, feathers ruffled.

"Oh, Chats! I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

"I'll be fine after you two explain how you came out of nowhere landed right on top of me! Cami! What the heck are you wearing?"

"It's a birthday present from a little while back."

"From who?" Chatterbox asked flying around me.

"From my Aunt WuWu." I replied as I felt his metal talons on my shoulder.

"That explains the clothes or lack of them."

"Chatts!"

Before Chatts could come up with another smart remark Lorie jumped in front of us.

"We went to Crimea River and Cami was modeling her outfit and then we were ambushed by a purple lizard and a yellow man. Cami save us with her light powers."

At about that time someone else came into the weapon's room. It was SteelWill and QuickSilver.

"Ok, Chats, what's going on? I turn around for one second and you....bring a stripper into the weapon's room?!" I turned around to face Will to tell him a thing or two.

"This is not a stripper's outfit! It's a meditation garment and I happen to like it very much, thank you! I didn't ask your opinion!" By the gods, the two men were acting like I was standing there naked! QuickSilver had turned his head away and SteelWill's face was beet red.

(Chatterbox)

"Why does everyone keep blaming me for?!" I cried. "It's not my fault Cami looks like a concubine!"

"Excuse me?!" Cami snapped.

"Well, you do! Sorry, but I have to be honest."

"Ugh...males!" Oh boy. Cami sure was pissed, but I put the blame on her puberty, round two. I haven't dealt with this sort of thing since Sapphire was her age. Then again, Sapphire was too busy trying to kill the males who hit on her unlike most girls. Now, she tries to kill anyone who pisses her off, especially the idiots who call her 'Dollface'. It's the one thing in the world she hates the most, besides perverts and the sort. Is it me, or am I getting too old for this sort of thing?

(Copper Kidd)

I had just goten back from patrol with a few of the other Hawks. I was piloting the Mirage because Jim had gone to visit Jadine on Mars Colony for his vacation. As SteelHeart, Flashback, Moonstryker, and I headed to our duty stations we heard a commotion in the weapons room. We all turned to see QuickSilver escorting my daughter and her friend out of the room. When she saw me, she acted if she was surprised I was there. I don't know why. I was where I was supposed to be, unlike her. Not only was she not where she was supposed to be, she was not wearing what she was supposed to be. I had told her not to wear that garment, epseically not in public, until she was either living on her own or an Elder. As I headed towards her I thought it was kind of funny that she tried to hide behind QuickSilver.

{Camiel Jezel Meglouse! What are you doing in that outfit?}

{Umm...I was...I just wanted...to see how it fit...and then this giant lizard...and Molecu-Lar...}

{Molecu-Lar?! Cami what are you talking about?}

When Camiel mentioned that name, I forgot all about the outfit. QuickSilver then spoke up.

"Ok, Camiel, tell him what you told me." Everyone got quiet so they could hear Cami's story

When Camile described what had happened down on Bedlama, all of us Hawks had no trouble figuring out who the "big purple lizard" was. I tell you one thing-I had made up in my mind I was going to make him sorry he every put his hands on my Cami! Molecu-Lar had already gotten a taste of my wrath because of what he did to Detia.

(Dragor)

When I made it back to my aerie Jester met me on the balcony.

"Getting ready to leave?"

"Not quite, partner. I got somethin' to tell ya."

"What is it this time?" I groaned.

"Your ex stopped by not long ago."

"Hmmm? Which one?"

"The one who said you're what drove her to women!" Jester snickered.

"Oh...that ex. What did she want?"

"Said she needed to talk to you and that it was really important."

Hmmm. I hadn't spoken to her in a while. Last time I spoke to her she told me she wanted to join the Mob with her girlfriend. I wondered what Echo wanted to talk to me about. As if in answer to my question, she glided down from above my garage and headed my way. Damn, did she look hot!

"Hey, Dray, how's it going?"

"Hi, baby, good to see you again." She walked up in front of me and slowly slid her claws across my abs. Gods, she's such a tease!

"I need to talk to you, Dray."

"So let's talk."

"Privately." We both looked down at Jester.

"Ok, I get the point! I'm outta here! See ya around, dragon breath." Once he was gone, we were free to talk.

"Ok, Echo, what do you need to talk to me for?"

"Well, you know how I've been trying to join the Mob."

"Yeah...what about it."

"Well, the Planet Master gave me an assignment. Said if I carry it out, I'm in."

"Ok. So what do you have to do?"

"I gotta find some chick named ChiChu. You know, that Mimian drug lord's concubine. And I was wondering if you could help me out, Dray."

Echo then put her arms around my neck, pulled my head down and whispered in my ear.

"I'd be ever so grateful if you could provide me with any info that will help me find her." That bitch was trying to manipulate me....and I was enjoying every moment of it!

"And just how are you going to thank me, baby?"

"An entire weekend doing what we used to do. No strings attached and both of us get what we want." I looked down at Echo and her perfect, sexy body. Then I thought about the business arrangement I had made with Jester and ChiChu. Then I looked at Echo again. Aww, damn, why does she do things like this to me? "So, anything I should know, Dray?"

"I...wish I could tell you something, but I don't know anything about that chick. Sorry, baby." I must have lost my senses to decide to protect that annoying little woman. Why in the world would I choose protecting ChiChu over a wild weekend with the best sex partner I've ever had? I came to the conclusion that I had completely lost my mind.

"Aw, that's too bad. Maybe when you hear something, you'll let me know?"

"Bring your new girl along for a threesome, and you got a deal."

"I'll... think about it. Later." Echo then flew off. As soon as she was far enough, I started looking for Chichu and Jester. Damn it, if Mon*Star finds out I've been hiding them all along, and Jester was the one who got Chichu pregnant, we're all toast.

(Jester)

I was sitting on Dragor's bed giving my fiance a foot massage when he came in the room. He didn't look too happy about something.

"So, what did Echo want?" Dragor muttered something and plopped down on the foot of the bed. I noticed he had something wrapped around his forearms. "Hey, why do you have your arms wrapped up like that?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now. We've got major trouble, partner."

"Huh? What kind of trouble?"

"Echo told me what the Boss wants her to do before she can join the Mob."

"And what does that have to do with us?"

"The Boss wants her to find ChiChu." ChiChu, who I had thought had fallen asleep during the massage, sat up when Dragor said that.

"Oh, Jester! Please don't let her find me! I don't want to go back to Tkkla!"

"Don't worry, Chi. No one's gonna take you back there...right Dragor?"

"I never did like them MATI." Dragor replied. "Their stupid prejudices seriously limit the variety we could use in the brothels."

"That's good." I said. "But what about Echo? She'll come back here and if she finds Chi..."

"She won't. We're just going to have to move a lot faster than planned."

"And just where do we send her?"

"One of the brothels, of course."

"Yea, but which one?!"

"The new one that's being set up in the Gatri colony."

"Gatri?" Chi asked. I started to pale a bit. "What that?"

"You're setting up a brothel in the Gatri colony?!" I snapped.

"Perfect place for her to get started." Dragor said.

"Uh, that's great, except for one thing. The Gatri colony is Mykari territory!"

"So?"

"You're forgetting something, Dragor. The Mykari are strict in their laws, especially the ones involving the likes of us!"

"They not like pimps and prostitutes?" Chi asked, curious. "I not understand."

"Look, Chi. The Mykari can't stand the abuse of sexual practice, which include rape, pimping, prostitution, and all that other stuff. Anyone who does any of these things on their turf or kind will be executed!" Chi really didn't like the sound of that. I turned towards Dragor. "What was going on in that mind of yours when you came up with this bright idea!?"

"The brothel isn't exactly in the colony." Dragor explained. "It's about a few miles away from it, so we're safe."

"I still don't like it."

"Would you rather have her found by the MATI and slaughtered like an animal?"

"You have a point there. When do we move?"

"It's gonna have to be in the day time. Echo only comes out at night. She and sunlight don't get along too well."

"We can't take ChiChu out in daylight! Someone might recognized her!"

"Mo might be able to help out with that. He tells me he can envelop a person's body and alter their appearance."

"Aww, man! I really don't want to get anyone else involved!" And I also didn't want Molecu-Lar wrapping himself around my Chi.

"What choice do you have?"

I knew my partner had a point. I didn't like where things were going but I had to protect my ChiChu at all costs.

"Can we even trust Molecu-Lar to keep his mouth shut?"

"I have ways of making sure he doesn't say a word. Now stop wrrying, you little twerp. I've got everything under control."

"For all of our sakes, I certainly hope so!"

(ChiChu)

As Jester and I began to pack my things, Dragor contacted Molecu-Lar. I never told my man, but I knew what Dragor was talking about. Neither Jes nor Dray knew that I had a little fun with him once on the Mobile MATI Base. He had enveloped my body and demonstrated his special version of DP. It was very interesting, to say the least. Before long Mo had arrived at the aerie. He acted like he wasn't surpised to see me.

"I had a feeling if you were anywhere alive, you'd be here."

"Why that?"

"Because a kinky freak like you gravitates to guys like them," Mo replied with a chuckle.

"Hey!" Jester cried. "Dragor's the sadist here; I just like being in control."

"Same difference." Mo replied. "So you two are hiding her here for yourselves? Mon*Star would be real pleased to hear that."

"Keep your trap shut, Moley, or I'll keep it shut for you." Jester can be a little overprotective, especially now.

"Ooh, I'm so scared."

"Don't tempt me. Just make sure she gets to the Gatri colony alive and intact."

"Fine. Anyone specific I should pose her as?"

"Astrala." Dragor said. "I could explain to the boss that I need her to oversee the completion of the brothel."

"Good, but just one thing." Jester said "How do we know Ala won't blow it on us?"

"Why she do that?" I asked.

"Because she's a pain in the neck and would do anything to ruin me." Jester replied.

"Jester!" Dragor gasped. "That's no way to talk about your sister." What? Ala's his sister?

"Eh, shut up!"

"Ala your sister?" I questioned.

"My kid sister." Jester explained. "I may be shorter than her, but I'm older by two years."

"Oh, so you're her little big brother!"

"Don't ever call me that. 'Brother' or 'older brother' is okay, but 'little big brother' is not."

"Okay!"

"I think I know a way to keep Astrala busy while we transport Chichu." Dragor said. "She's been looking for a rematch with Stargazer; why don't we give her one?"

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Jester asked.

"I think Bedlama's been lacking a little chaos, especially in the city, don't you agree?"

(Astrala)

It had been some time since I'd seen Jester. Don't get me wrong. I really did enjoy the peace and quiet. But I was aslo curious about who had stolen my brother's heart, if that was indeed the case. I was hanging out with Whisper and Echo at the Sini*Star Diner. I couldn't believe Echo was Dragor's exgirlfriend. Dragor just doesn't seem like the relationship type to me. Maybe that's why they broke up.

"So, did you see Dray tonight?"

"Yeah. I saw him."

"Where's he living now, anyway."

"Sorry, Ala. That's classified information"

"Aww, c'mon. You can tell me. You used to live there, right?"

"Maybe..."

"Why'd you guys break up anyway?"

"Ok, you're getting way too personal for me now, Ala."

"I was just curious."

At that moment I saw Echo look over my shoulder and kind of smile. When I turned around I saw Dragor and Jester heading for our table. I couldn't tell Whisper's expression because she had her mask on. I wondered what she thought of her girlfriend smiling at her exboyfriend. I'll probably never know since Whisper's mute and I don't know sign language.

"Evening, ladies. Mind if Jester and I join you for a drink?"

Dragor then pulled up a chair, pushed me aside and sat between me and Echo. He sure had a lot of nerve.

"Man, I hate going to this place cuz they don't sell any booze. What's the point of going out if you can't get pissed drunk!" My older brother complained as he sat next to Whisper. When he looked up at her his eyes got really big. "Boy, Dragor was right when he told me you had an awesome pair of knockers! Wow! Echo's got good taste!"

After Jester made his little comment, Whisper pushed Jester out of his chair then gave Dragor a dirty look.

"Still sitting at our special table, I see, baby," Dragor continued, smiling at Echo.

"Dray, what are you talking about?" Dragor picked up the table, sending our drinks floating, and turned the table over. On the bottom was a heart carved with 'Dragor luvs Echo'.

"Awww. Isn't that the cutest thing," I commented as I grabbed my non alcoholic version of 'Sex on the Beach.' Whisper had this look in her eyes that seemed to say 'I'm going to hurt you' as her ears folded back on her head. As she began to pull her mask off I wondered if she was about to bite Dragor, who then turned to me.

"Astrala, you mind stepping outside with me and my partner. We need to talk to you about something important."

"Sure. Why not? I'll be back girls."

As I got up to step outside with the two guys, Whisper gave Dragor this terribly mean look, bearing her teeth and all. If looks could kill, Dragor would have died twice.

"So, fellas. What's up?"

"We need you to do us a favor. A Bedlamian friend of ours is throwing a party in Jonka Town and he needs his supply of Liquid Love and Stardust. We were wondering if you could deliver it to him and bring back his payment."

"Sure, Dray. No problem. Do you think he'd mind if I stayed and partied for a little while?"

"I don't think he'd mind. Here's his name and address. The stuff is in Jester's trunk. The party starts at 10 PM. Try ot be there early so he can give out those special 'party favors'."

As Jester and Dragor got the drugs out of the trunk, I decided to tease my brother a bit.

"So, Jester, who's got you p*ssy whipped?"

"Ala, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon. You've been walking around with your head in the clouds, singing to yourself, smiling...it's really rather creepy. And so unlike you. You must be in love." I knew I was on the right track when Jester's face started turning red.

(Chatterbox)

Oh, great! Just great! This really isn't turning out to be my day! I had to oversleep today, didn't I?! I am so dead! I finally reach the Bedlama military base. Okay, just sneak into the office through the window. Good! He's doing paperwork; when does that guy ever take a break? Okay, now move carefully. Slowly. Quietly. Whew! Made it. And he didn't notice.

"You're late." D'oh! He noticed.

"Uh...no, sir!" I replied. "Unless you count some very interesting gossip I heard in the barracks."

"No, I do not."

"Okay...oh, I nearly forgot! There's going to be a big gala in Jonka Town tonight. You'll be needed for security."

"Who, may I ask, is throwing this gala?"

"Deputy Governor Stan." That got a less than thrilled response from my new partner, and I don't blame him. Stan was basically your typical politician; all talk, no action, a complete sissy coward and has enough scandals to put Nixon and Clinton to shame. I figure if Brightlight wasn't so loyal to his people, Stan would've thrown out the window ages ago. "You know," I continued. "It doesn't have to be all that bad. You could bring a date..."

"A date? Me? No chance."

"Oh, come on! What would possibly keep girls away from you? You're only the second most elegible bachelor in Limbo!"

"A blessing and a curse."

"In fact, I heard Cristol say something about you...very horny, I add."

"I'll believe it when I see it." He's kidding, right?! I mean, it wasn't exactly a galatic secret that Cristol has the biggest crush on him! She's hit on him every chance she gets, and he doesn't see it?! He even dismissed my theory on the Governor's crush on Madame Crescent, which I know is true. He's just too chicken to tell her. That made wonder, though; are all Bedlamian males this romantically deaf or is it just those two?

(Stargazer)

There it sat on my desk. An invitation to Deputy Governor Stan's Galactic Gala. He's sent me an invitation ever year for the past ten years and I haven't accepted once. Well, I guess there is a first time for everything. While still staring at the blasted thing I heard a knock on my office door.

"Enter." It was Mavis, and boy did she look gorgeous. She was my date and the only reason I was going to Stanley's party.

"Hello, Gaze. I know I'm early but I'm just so excited about this party! I've never been to a high profile event. I've never had the time, really. What do you think of my evening gown?"

"You look like a million Limbo bucks! Well, since you're here I'd better call a cab. You do have your invitation, right? You can't get in without it."

"Right here, Gaze," she replied as she pulled it out of her handbag. "By the way, I love your tux! You look smashing!"

"Thanks, Mavis. I try," I chuckled. After calling for a cab, my date and I headed for the hangar bay arm in arm. We must have made a damn fine looking couple because everyone was staring at us on our way to the elevator. Looks like I've still got it after all these years.

(Astrala)

As Dragor suggested, I arrived at the Deputy Governor's home ahead of time.Turns out he wanted plenty of Liquid Love for a little 'party' after the party.

"Hey, Stanley, planning an after party orgy?"

"Maybe...maybe not."

"If you are, I'd like to hang around for a while."

"Oh, Ala, you know I can't let anyone see you hanging around me."

"Please?" I begged, as I cuddled up close and gave a certain part of him some special attention.

"Well...ok!" I knew that would change his mind.

When the guests started to arrive, I hung out in the kitchen. I'd occasionally peek out to see who was there. I saw Madame Crescent, Governor Xander, and...Commander Stargazer? My whole night would have been ruined at that moment if I hadn't gotten myself an idea. I figured this party needed some livening up. I took some of the Liquid Love and mixed it with the wine and champagne. I knew once the Liquid Love kicked in this gala would become a scandalous field day for the tabloids! Looks like the orgy is going to begin a few hours early!

(Brigadier Brightlight)

I loathe providing security for Dep. Gov. Stan's parties. I knew it was necessary though. Something scandalous usually happens at these galas. I hoped my presence would prevent that. One of the servers came over and offered me some wine.

"No thank you. Not while I'm working."

"Very well, sir."

The party seemed to be going pretty well. However, as I expected, things started to get strange. Madame Crescent started laughing uncontrollably. Too much champagne I figured. After she stopped laughing she got this strange look in her eyes as she walked over to one of the party guests. She then did something so unlike herself. She straddled the unsuspecting party goer and began to kiss and fondle him! I blinked and rubbed my eyes just to make sure I was seeing things right. I was! And that was just the beginning of the chaos!

(Chatterbox)

Cariumba! I'm late again! Ooh, I knew I wasn't going to hear the end of it, but I had something special for the party. When I finally got there, I couldn't believe what I saw! Almost everyone in the gala was...well, let's just say the temperture in the hormones rose a few quadrillion degrees. I immediately flew up to my partner, who seemed as shocked as I was, if not more. Well, at least I'm not seeing things.

"Yell at me later for being late." I said. "What in the name of Cristo is going on here?"

"I have no idea." he replied, then muttered an ancient curse. Whoa! I knew he was fluent in the ancient tongue of his species, and that he slipped into that tongue whenever he got emotional or stressed. This is not good.

"Well, did anything happen before this?"

"Everything seemed normal, then the next thing you know, the whole place starts to...you know.."

"Oh, for the love of the gods, everything was perfect until they started screwing each other!"

"What's that?" I looked at the small vial I was carrying. It was filled with a green liquid.

"A truth serum." I explained. "One dose, just for our favoirte Deputy Governor." That got me a look. "Oh, come on! After all the crap he's pulled, it wouldn't hurt for him to admit some...things about himself."

"Tempting, but I suggest you put that away and see what in the name of the patron gods is going on here."

"Got it!" I put the vial down on a nearby table, which was...uh...being occupied at the moment. "I'm going to check out the beverages."

"Chatterbox, this is no time for a drink! And you shouldn't have alcohol on duty!"

"I'm not going to drink them, sir! I'm going to scan them. See, whenever a party like this goes awry, it's always something in the punch. My guess is someone decided to spike it with a little something."

"You're sure about that?"

"Hey, I'm the party expert, remember?" I looked around for any beverages. I found a few half empty glasses of wine and champagne and started scanning. "I don't believe it!"

"Did you find something?"

" Si." I replied. "The year on this wine is terrible! What was Stan thinking when he got this?"

"Anything relevant?"

"Well, other than a lousy year, that wine is loaded with Liquid Love, a very sensual narcotic. The champagne's full of it, too."

"Why do these things happen every year? I'm going to check out the kitchen for any clues. You...keep things under control here."

"Wha--HEY!" But he was gone. Cono Stick me with the dirty work. Oh, well. I don't even want to go into detail what was happening.

(Brigadier Brightlight)

When I got to the kitchen, I found a couple of the servers uh...coupling. I stepped over them to look for a clue as to who spiked the wine and champagne. As I investigated, I heard someone call my name.

"Sh'Ekrah, it's so good to see you." Cristol? I turned around to see her leaning in the door completely...exposed! "So, how do you like the party so far?" she asked as she walked towards me.

"Uh, Cristol, I'm kind of busy now. Can we discuss this later?" I tried to get past her and out of the kitchen but she had already wrapped her arms tighly around my waist.

"Oh, please don't run away! Don't you see how much I want you?" I was trying my hardest to get the drug crazed woman off me, but she had a pretty good grip! I ended up stumbling backwards out of the kitchen door, landing on my back. Cristol then crawled on top of me and started to kiss me! I was trying my hardest to push her off of me, but she was unusually strong. Soon I could feel my head start to swim and it felt like my blood was literally heating up. I realized her whole mouth was tainted with that stuff and it was starting to take it's effect on me! I vaguely remember what happned after that, and what I do remember will remain unstated!

(ChiChu)

I cringed in a corner as a winged creature of the night had spread it's wings above me, trapping me in it's shadow.

"Well, well, you're an elusive little thing aren't you, Miss ChiChu. No matter. I've got you now. Now we're going to take a little trip."

The creature grabbed me up and burst through the door. I felt my stomach sink and the creature jumped off the edge of the balcony. As the thing spread it's wings I heard a voice in the distance.

"Chi! CHI! Come back!"

It was Jester! I struggled to get free of the creature's grip. I was finally able to punch it in the face. Next thing I knew I was falling, straight towards the jagged surface of the asteroid....

"CHI! WAKE UP!" My eyes snapped open and I let out a yelp. I turned to see Jester on the bed beside me, rubbing his forehead. "Geez, Chi! Waking you up is like waking the dead! You sat up so fast you bumped my head! Hey, you ok, baby cakes?" When he asked me that I realized I was shaking all over.

"I...I fine, Jester," I finally managed to say. "WHy you wake me up?"

"Cuz it's time to go. My sis is busy rasing hell on Bedlama. Now's the best time to get you on a space plane to Gatri Colony. Mo, do your thing!"

(Jester)

This was it. The moment we had all planned for. Chi was finally going to be safe and far away from Limbo. Boy, did she look scared. I'm not good at, you know, comforting people, but I tried my best to put her mind at ease.

"Don't worry, Chi. Everythings going to be ok. I'll go with you as far as Chicago. I've got some business to take care of there. You and Mo will transfer planes and head for Gatri Colony." ChiCHu looked like she didn't like the sound of that.

"Jester, I want you to come with me all the way!"

"Baby, I would but I gotta take care of this improtant business first." Chi looked like she was about to cry. "Now, Chi, you gotta stay focused. You make sure you let Mo do all the talking. He can imitate Ala's voice perfectly, but you can't. Just keep your cool and everything will be fine, ok?"

"Okay..."

"Great. You ready to go?"

"Yes. I ready."

"Mo, how about you?"

"I've been ready since I got here!"

"Remember, Mo, no kinky stuff. That's my girl you're wrapping yourself around."

"You worry about your job and I'll worry about mine, shorty!"

"Don't play with me, Mo...."

"All right! No kinky stuff! Now let's get this show on the road!"

(Sapphire)

So far, the galaxy's been pretty quiet. No activity from the Mob or the MATI at all. But I was still worried, especially with the Commander at that gala. Anything could happen. I feared the worst when I got a call. It sounded very gibberish.

"MAYDAY!MAYDAY!EMERGENCYHEREMAJOREMERGENCYHELP!!!!" I soon recognized the voice.

"Chatterbox? What is it?"

"IT'STERRIBLENASTYMUYBADANDEVERYTHING!" He then took a few deep breaths. What in the galaxy?

"Calm down, Chatts..."

"Calm down?! How can you tell me to calm down?! Someone spiked the beverages with Liquid Love, the whole gala's a sex fest and my partner--who's usually an idiot when it comes to females--has been turned into a psychopathic sadist! Do you have ANY IDEA what I'm going through down here?!"

"Take it easy, Chatterbox. Where are you?"

"As far away from there as possible! Staying would've placed me in physical harm, so don't try to court martial me!"

"Any news on the guests?"

"Well...do you really want to know?"

"Are they okay?"

"Oh, other than their libdo going loco, they're all right."

"And the Commander?"

"Uhh...he and his date are...performing adaquetly." I didn't even want to know what he meant by that. "But how about sending me some backup to see for themselves?! Hello! I can't do this alone!"

"I'll see what I can do."

"Well, hurry!!"

From the sound of Chatterbox's voice I figured I would need plenty of back-up. Quicksilver, SteelWill, SteelHeart, and I all boarded the Maraj. Bluegrass was pilot. We made sure to bring along our riot gear. When we arrived at the Deputy Governor's Mansion, everything was pretty quiet.

"What's going on? I thought there was supposed to be some sort of pandamonium here," SteelWill wondered aloud as we headed toward the entrance.

"Just keep alert. You never know what to expect when Stan is involved," QuickSilver instructed. We found that the door was open. When we enetered the house it was still pretty quiet. But boy was there a crazy scene inside! Bodies everywhere! All naked! People were passed out all over the place. The mansion was a mess and the odor...well you can pretty mush guess what it smelled like. SteelHeart said she saw movement towards the back of the house. We made it to the back door just in time to see a couple people with cameras in their hands rushing out the back. I assumed they were magazine photographers who came to take photos of the gala.

"Oh, boy. Can you imagine the scandals if they publish those photos? I'm sure the Commander would want to high tail it outta Limbo but fast!" Bluegrass commented.

We finally came across the Commander and Nurse Mavis. They were curled up with each other behind one of the couches.

"Okay," I said. "Who in this room thinks this is not good?" Stupid question, I know. A few seconds later, we heard a faint screech. The windows started cracking, but not too bad. I had a feeling Chatts caught up to those photographers.

"Chatts to SilverHawks!" my com blared. "Chatts to SilverHawks, can anyone read me?!"

"Sapphire here." I answered. "What's your status?"

"I'm assuming you see what's up?"

"Yeah...you said it was bad."

"Not too bad. I took care of those photographers that tried to run out."

"Chatterbox..."

"I know, I know! I had to do something to avoid a scandal!"

"What did you do?"

"Eh, gave a sonic pulse that damaged their cameras. No photos of this lutacristic scene! Luckily, they were all digital."

"We are going to hear hell from this."

"Not today, quedra. I gave those photographers a little compensation."

"What compensation?"

"I'll explain later. Anything you need for me to do?"

I turned to Quicksilver, who seemed just as shocked over this as I was. "It's Chatterbox." I said.

"Patch him through." I turned up my com so we could all hear.

"Chatterbox, status report." Quick instructed.

"No scandals are going to be here today, L.T. I took care of that part."

"What about...this?"

"Out of control as soon as I got here. Uh..by the way, you didn't by chance see a vial lying around, have you?" What the?

"Chatts..."

"I think I saw an empty vial back at the yard." 'Heart piped in. "It was empty, though, and in the Dep. Gov.'s hand."

"MY TRUTH SERUM!!" Chats shouted.

"Chatterbox!" I exclaimed. I soon realized what he was up to. "Truth serum!?"

"Oh, no! And I packed a double dose, too!"

"When I get through with you..."

"Save it, you two." Quick said. "Why don't we get the guests to Hawk Haven and see what exactly happened?"

"It would be in their best interests to treat them there." I agreed. "Chatterbox, get yourself back to base. I'll deal with you later."

(Nurse Mavis)

My embarassment was unimaginable. There I was in the infirmary in a hospital gown with no idea where my evening gown was. I wondered if Gaze was all right. I hardly remembered what happened at the gala. As Emily checked me out Jonathan kept asking me all kinds of questions.

"Do you have any idea who would have spiked the punch with Liquid Love?"

"I haven't a clue, Lieutnant! I had no idea it was spiked until after I drank that champagne. Anyway, is Gaze all right?" I could hear the concern in my own voice, so I'm sure they heard it too. Emily gave me a reassuring smile.

"He's ok. Just a bit embarassed." I sighed with relief. As long as I knew my dear Gaze was all right, I was pretty much ok myself. Neither one of us is as young as we used to be, and the way we were going at it at the party I'm surprised he didn't blow his circuits! I only came out of it with a sore neck and back. Something else was sore, but I'll keep that to myself.

(Astrala)

I can't describe the amount of fun I had taking all those pictures! Especially the ones of Stargazer! He was going at it pretty good for a rustbucket. I was surprised to see Brigadier Brightlight joining in the orgy. As far as I knew he never drinks on the job. Oh well, more blackmail material. When things started to die down I snuck out and headed back to Brim*Star. I wanted to share my footage with the others far a few good laughs. The first one I crossed paths with was Windhammer.

"Hey Windy, wait'll see these great pics I got of the gala at Stan's mansion!" Winhammer just kind of stood there looking surprised to see me.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be at one of Jester and Dragor's brothels?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I could have sworn I heard Dragor tell the Boss that he needed you to go help open up a new brothel."

"How come I'm just finding out about this?"

"Don't ask me. Maybe you'd better ask the Boss." I sure did ask him. Something funny was going on and I wanted to find out what.

(Dragor)

I had just seen Jester, ChiChu, and Molecu-Lar off when things got a little complicated. Echo showed up...and she didn't look too happy.

"What was she doing here?"

"Who?"

"Astrala! Why was she here? She's not supposed to know about your aerie."

"Jes and I needed her to do something for us."

"Like what?" she hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"What's it to you, woman?"

"Did you screw her?" Huh? Where did that come from? Why would she ask me that?

"No..."

"Liar! I bet you did!" Ok, now she was getting kind of emotional. I could hear it in her voice. I was beginning to understand what was going on here.

"Liza, are you jealous?" Her eyes grew wide with surprise. Heh. I could still read her like a book even after all that time apart.

"Why would I be jealous? I'm with someone." She couldn't fool me. I saw right through her. Maybe...just maybe I could take advantage of this situation.

"Liza, Liza, Liza." I said. "I blindfolded Ala and told her this was a motel."

"Oh, I'm so sure!" she snapped. "I didn't see anything over her eyes!"

"Jester's placing the blindfold back on as we speak. Relax, baby. It's just business."

"Like I care anyways."

"It was business, Eliza. That was all."

"I know your business, Dray. It's the reason I broke up with you in the first place!"

"So I like variety. Big deal."

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't screw around all the time! How do you think I feel knowing you have several girls on the side?"

"They're accquaintances, hon. And a good number of them are rather...relucant." I then proceeded to grab one of her wrists. "Speaking of relucant accquaintances, I think we better feed some fuel to our old flame!"

(Echo)

Damn! I knew I shouldn't have come there alone! Then again, I did promise Dray I wouldn't bring anyone else to his aerie without his approval. I also doubt Whisper would want to come anyway. If she did, she'd probably bring a bomb with her to blow it up.

I barely had time to react when Dragor grabbed my wrist and yanked me towards him to kiss me. That's when I got angry. Mostly at myself because I was enjoying the attention. I tried to pull out of his grip but he held me tighter and kissed me deeper. Once he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, I knew I had to get away somehow. I knew once he got me inside it would be all over. As he carried me through the door I grabbed hold of the frame to keep him from taking me inside. He backed up suddenly, causing me to lose my grip then quickly carried me inside. Oh, gods! He's got me now! I haven't been with a man in five years, so this might hurt!

(Dragor)

Oh what a sweet time I had with that female! This time she put up a real good fight. Just how I like it. Eventually I won her over. Five years and she she was as hot as ever! But I wasn't finished yet. I knew if I said the right words and stroked her just right, I'd have her totally in my possession once again. I just had to convince her to get rid of that mangy girlfriend of hers.

After screwin' her senseless, I knew I had to work fast to seal this conquest. I told her all the romantic stuff women like to hear. You know, that I missed her, wanted her back, that she's special, that all those others meant nothing to me. At first she was pretty skeptical. I mean Liza's not as naive as she used to be. I didn't give up though. I even (shudders) begged a little. Before I knew it, I had my Little Fuck Toy back. Ah, life is good.

(Jester)

It's a good thing ChiChu Mo and I got out when we did. Just as we were heading to the space port, I saw Echo show up on Dragor's balcony. I floored it just in case she tried to follow. I slowed down once wd got a good distance from the Limit.

Soon we arrived at the space port on Bedlama. I had managed to make a fake copy of Astrala's passport so we could leave the Limbo. Chi was a nervous wreck so before we left I had to take her in one of the restrooms for a little pep talk.

"Now Chi, listen. Everything is gonna be ok. You just relax on the flight to Chicago. Once we're there you'll tranfer flights to go the rest of the way to Gatri Colony, ok? I won't be too far behind."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"How long I gonna have to wait?"

"A couple days." Chi didn't like the sound of that at all.

"Jes, I want to stay with you!"

I was finally able to convince Chi to go ahead without me to Gatri colony. We parted ways in Chicago. Before I left I told Mo to make sure ChiChu got to the brothel safely or else!

(Glycerin)

Another argument vith that troll and still the boss von't cut him loose. 'He's too valuable', he says. Not my fault I can't vork electronics. Vhile storming in the corridors, I ran into Ala. At least, I think it was Ala.

"Oh, Maria Francisca!" I called. Then she got mad. Ja, it's definetely her; Astrala hates it when someone addresses her vith her real name. Even Jester doesn't do it, unless it's important. They call each other by their middle names for casual contact and their first names for serious family stuff. But if Ala's here...

"Glycerin, have you seen my dork brother anywhere?" she asks.

" Nein," I replied. "He left here vith someone who looks like you. I think he and Mo are trying to pull a fast vone on the boss."

"What is that pipsqueak up to?"

"Don't know, but vhatever it is, it must be big if Dragor is involved."

"Well, I'll confront the shrimp later; want to look at these pictures?"

(Atrala)

Glycerin and I shared some great laughs as we checked out the pictures I took at the Gala. We started discussing using them as blackmail material when Echo showed up looking for me. I wondered what she could want with me. She didn't look too happy about something.

"Hey, Echo, what's up?"

"That's what I want to ask you. I thought you went out of town."

"You know, you're like the third person who's said that to me. The only place I've been is Bedlama."

"Oh? Hmmmm....something strange is going on here and I smell a dragon and a midget."

"Yeah, me too. How about we start our own investigation. I'll question my brother, and you question your ex-boyfriend and see what we can find out. Deal?"

"Sounds like a plan to me, Ala."

(Echo)

The following night I began my investigation. I told Whisper I was going to stake out a bounty to see if I could catch him at home. I was actually staking somebody out, but it wasn't a bounty. I stopped by Dray's aerie. When I enetered through one of the windows I called out to him. No response. I checked the lower levels for him. He was nowhere to be found. When I went back up to the bedroom I started to search for some kind of clue to let me know what he was up to. I knew he had to be up to something. After a few minutes of searching I finally found a clue. There was a holovid laying on top of the player. It was labelled Monkey Girl: Session One. When I put it in the player I didn't expect to see what I saw.

Damn it, Dray! I knew he was crazy, but I'd never thought he'd do this! Screwing one of the MATI's concubines! This is suicide! Then again, this isn't the first time Dray's done something nuts. Wait a minute...he couldn't have been the one who...no, it can't be! He has a low sperm count. But miracles happen; I should know. Either way, I'm keeping my mouth shut. In front of Ataka, that is. But when I find that double-crossing saurian, then he'll be sorry!

Just as I finished watching the vid, I jumped at the sound of a knock at the door.

"Hey, dragon breath! You there?"

Jester! Maybe I can grill him and get some infomation about that concubine. I thought it very likely that he would know something since he seemed to be involved in all this too. When I opened the door he seemed very surprised to see me.

"Echo? What are you doing here? And where's Dragor?"

"None of your busniness and I don't know. Now get in here! We need to talk!"

Before he could run away I grabbed him up and took him inside.

I got straight to the point with Jester. I wasn't in the mood for games.

"Ok, pipsqueak. I want to know if Dragor is the one that got that concubine pregnant!"

"No way! He used protection!" Jester then stopped and slapped his hand over his mouth. "I...I mean...how did you find out about that?" I showed him the vid. "Aw, man!"

"Ok, if Dray's not the father, then it must be...you?" The little pimp got this look on his face that told me I was right. "Ugh! That little Mimian will obviously do anyone!" That comment seemed to offend Jester.

"Chi thinks I'm a great catch!"

"That's really not saying much. Lord Tkkla told me she's not very bright. But he didn't choose her for her brains."

"Hey, that's my future wife you're talking about!"

"What? Oh now I know she's got sh*t for brains. Anyway, you don't have to worry about me telling your little secret. No use getting Dray in any more trouble. Just don't tell him about me knowing, will you?"

"Oh, ok. You swear you won't tell, right?"

"I always keep my word...as long as you don't rub me the wrong way. Deal?"

"Deal."

We shook on it. Not long after that Dray finally showed up. Neither Jester or I said a mumbling word about that vid disc.

(ChiChu)

There I was, alone in a foriegn land without my fiance. Well, Molecu-Lar was there, but he was no comfort. I had no way of contacting Jester, so I had no idea if he was safe, on his way, or what. He told me after he comes to get me we were going to get married in a place called Las Vegas. I had no idea where that was. Didn't really care, as long as I got to be with Jester. One day passed, then two...three days passed and I thought I was going crazy! When Jester finally showed up, I didn't know what to do with myself.

(Jester)

I'd finally made it to Gatri Colony, and it was no surprise that Chi was glad to see me. We didn't have much time for celebrating. We had a lot of stuff to do.

"Baby, pack your bags, cuz we're on our way to Vegas!"

Even in near-30th century, Las Vegas was still a popular wedding spot, especially for eloping couples like Chi and myself. Dragor was going to wait for us in the chapel I booked. I kinda felt bad that we couldn't get a Mimian priest (the correct term, Chi says, is "holy elder") but we can't risk the MATI--especially Lord Ataka--finding out about us. Oh, well, this is a good experience for Chi to learn about my culture. I think we'll spend our honeymoon here. Vegas is a hell of a lot better than the Starship Casino, I'll admit that much!

(ChiChu)

When we got to Vegas, the first thing I noticed was the lights. Millions and millions of lights! Brighter and more colorful than any circus I'd ever been in. Jester told me that he was taking me to buy a dress, then we would get married that evening.

"You think they have dress big enough to go over this?" I asked, pointing at my belly.

"Sure, Chi, they have all sorts of dresses. I'm sure they even have a maternity section, too."

Turns out he was right. The customer service rep took me straight to the maternity wedding dresses. After trying on three different ones, I made my choice. The dress I chose was comfortable, yet sexy. I looked nice and I could breathe, so I was satisfied.

"C'mon, babycakes! We gotta hurry to the chapel! Dray's waitin' for us!"

Jes took me by the hand and we rushed off to the chapel. I figured I'd have to change there for our wedding. I was happy and excited, but I still wondered if I was doing the right thing.

When we got to the chapel, Dragor was there wating for us. We didn't ahve time to chat, so Jes and I hurried to get dressed. I tried not to rush too much. A lady needs to take her time whn making herself beautiful. We got ourselves just in time when the priest showed up.

(Dragor)

So this is it. My good partner was getting himself hitched. Ah, probably for the best considering no one else will touch him with a ten-foot-pole. Hell, the only other time I've seen him get any was when he drunked that apprentice prostitute. I think that was his first, but I'm not sure. Meanwhile, after the weddin', me and Jes are gonna take Chichu out for a 3D monogram. Jester and I had a bet on the baby; he says it'll be a girl like most hybrids, I say it'll be a boy.

Jester and Chichu finally came out and went up to the altar, where there was a priest that resembled Larry the Lounge Lizard. Gods, what people won't do in this crazy place!

(ChiChu)

While the priest performed the ceremony, I noticed Dragor had a kind of embarassed look on his face. I wondered what that was about. Anyway, Jes looked so cute in his tux. He looked really happy. And to think I made him feel that way. I was happy too. I was with someone who loved me and wanted so much to take care of me.

The ceremony was brief. The priest took some pictures of us. For some reason, Dray stayed out of all of them. Oh well. He must have had his reasons. After we got married, jes took me to have a 3-D sonogram done. He wanted to know what we were having. I didn't care, as long as he or she was healthy. Boy did we get a surprise at the clinic!

"TWINS?!" he exclaimed. "WE'RE HAVIN' TWO KIDS?!"

"Yep." the doc replied. "Congratulations."

"Are they healthy?"

"The healthiest I've seen."

"Boys or girls?"

"Both."

"Both?"

"One twin's a boy and the other's a girl." Jester sighed in relief. I guess he's grateful they aren't really both genders. He then called Dragor and told him what we were having.

(Dragor)

So the pipsqueak and the squeak toy are having twins. Wonderful. All the world needs it a couple of tiny squeaking voiced brats. I know Jester is gonna spoil them rotten. Probably worse than he's done ChiChu. Ah, well. At least he's happy. He doesn't fuss and complain as much as he used to. That's a relief. The two of them decided to honeymoon in Vegas at the Luxor. I went to see if I could hook up with a couple of showgirls. I know I promised Liza I wouldn't screw around on her again, but Vegas was far from Limbo. So how was she gonna find out? I thought I was gonna get away with it, but that sneaky girlfriend of mine was trailing me. Damn! Good thing she didn't show up at the wedding chapel.

"Liza, what the hell are you doing here and how did you find me?"

"Gods, Dray, you should know by now you can't hide from me. I'm a bounty hunter, and a damn good one at that!"

"Aww, geez, Liza, what do you want?"

"Why are you acting like this? You should be happy to see me! What, were you planning on screwing someone else behind my back again?" Damn, she knows me too well! Oh, well, since she's here, and she's looking pretty damn hot, and I'm horny...I might as well take to my hotel room and screw her.

(Jester)

Chi and I had a great time on our honeymoon. We spent most of the time in our hotel room (when ChiChu wasn't playing the slots, that is). I took her to see a couple shows. Lawrence Scalia aka Larry the Lounge Lizard, was performing at the Luxor. She really enjoyed that. Even bought a pair of panties to throw up on the stage.

After three days, I knew I had to get her back to Gatri Colony. She told me that when she got there, she wanted to contact her family to give the good news.

"Jes, you want to meet my family someday?"

"I guess. Gonna have to since they'll be taking care of our kids."

"When I gonna get to meet your family?"

"Well, now Chi, that might be easier said than done."

(Chichu)

After Jes and I got married, I contacted my cousin Fina in Hnn country. She was very surprised to hear from me. She was even more surprised that I was married and pregnant.

^Chichu, how in the world did you get maried? Concubines can't get married!^

^Well, I'm no longer with Lord Tkkla.^

^He set you free?^

^No, I ran away. I had to. My babies aren't his.^

^Oh, boy!^

^Fina, I need your help. I want my babies to be safe and with family, in case something happens to me or my entawan. Tkkla doesn't know where I am and I want to keep it that way.^

^You can count on me, cousin. By the way, where is Hna?^

^She's still with the Atakas, unfortunately. Maybe someday she'll get away, but I doubt it. She seemed to like it there last time I spoke with her. She thinks she's too delicate to work and all she wants to do is stuff her face with rich food. Ironically, she doesn't gain a pound!^

^I'm not surprised that she'd choose to stay there. When our the babies due, Chichu?^

^In four months. Did you want to talk to my life mate? Since you'll be taking care of our children, I think you two should at least talk to each other.^

^Sure, cousin. Put him on!^

I activated the translation software and called Jes to talk to Fina.

(Jester)

Chi's family seemed like pretty nice folks. I still was too sure if I could trust them to take care of our kids, but Chi reminded me that they raised her and her cousin, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about. A couple months later Chichu had the twins. They were about five weeks premature! It's a good thing there was a hospital not too far from where we were.

(Chichu)

Jesus had told me he wanted to be there for the twins' birth, but for some reason the doctor wouldn't let him in the delivery room at first. Said he was being too disruptive. That's when I heard him shout at the team of nurses.

"Let me through, damn it! I gotta give Chi my hat!"

So that's why he had been making such a fuss! I had asked him if I could wear his hat while in labor because wearing it helps me relax. It's wierd, but true. When I explained to the doctor that my entawan wasn't insane, just trying to help, they finally let him in.

(Astrala)

I had just sent the photos I took to every tabloid in the galaxy when RJ came in with this look on his face, the kind that said something was wrong.

"Call a Mob meeting." he said. "We just got screwed." I got most of the Mobsters to get here (Jester and Dragor were God knows where) and there RJ gave us the bad news.

"Stan's been found out." he said. "The Sky Shadow saw everything and it's more or less in the news." We were all in shock; our inside snich at the goverment was exposed, after everything he did to keep up appearances.

"How?" I asked.

"That idiot stumbled across this vial and drank its entire contents."

"So?"

"It contained truth serum. He leaked out everything, the extortions, the laundering, the drugs, the prostitution, the time we tried that inside job on the government and nearly caused intergalatic war. Everything."

"Oh, this is just great. Where is he now?"

"Penal Planet Nine. But not for long, because of his sentence."

"And what's his doom?"

"Considering the constant acts of treason and one act associated with attempted murder, it's an automatic death penalty active in five years, longer if he goes through the appeals. If he had commited rape, he would've been sent straight for the injection."

"Oh, damn...but wait, Penal Planet Nine? Wouldn't Ten be more secure?"

"Yea, but Nine doesn't have any personal grudges against him, unlike the rest of Limbo."

"Jesus, I bet the Governor wasn't too thrilled. He spent his career rooting out corruption only to discover it manifested itself in his own deputy..."

"You bet he wasn't happy, and a left hook that broke his hand and Stan's jaw was damn well proof of that."

"Vuss," Glycerin mumbled. We all turned to Mon*Star to hear what his orders are regarding the situation.

"Let him rot." Mon*Star said. "He would've been found out either way. Good riddance to wasted flesh!" Oh, well. I guess Bedlama would be throwing a party once he was dead.

A few days later, I got myself a new dissapointment. Those pictures I took at the gala, weren't in the tabloids. Instead there were page spreads on that stupid parrot in drag. What in the world...I checked my negatives to notice they were switched. Damnit, I got screwed, and not in the way I prefered!

"So much for ruining Bedlama's social elite." I muttered, then spent the day moping. This was so not my day.

(Jester)

Watching our twins being born was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. To think that Chi went through all that pain for me. She could have decided to get rid of them and go back to Tkkla to try to get back in his good graces. But she decided to stay with me.

The boy was born first, then the girl. They were so tiny and helpless. Chi did great. She looked exhausted, but she was smiling. I even got to hold our babies. Now that was really something. As I held the boy in my arms I racked my brain for the appropriate name. I decided to name him after mi abuelo, Dominick Perez.

"How's that sound, little fella? You like your name?"

In response to my question, the little squirt peed on me. We still named him after my grandfather in spite of my wet shirt. We named the girl Diamond Perez. She looked just like her mama, except for having black hair like me. We had just met and I was already in love with my babies. Too bad I won't be seeing them for long before Chi takes them to live with her cousins.

Once Chi had recovered from birthing, Dragor decided to escort her to her cousins and drop the babies off. Meanwhile, I was heading back to Limbo to provide a cover-up of sorts. Believe me, when I got back to Brim Star, I didn't exactly receive much of a welcoming committee.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Ala shouted. "Do you have any idea how screwed we are right now?!"

"Jesus Mary and Joseph, Ala, what did you do now?" I asked.

"Not me!!! Remember our friend that I delivered the Liquid Love to?"

"Yea?"

"Now on Death Row, which also means the Mob has lost its spy in the government!"

"Oh."

"Now WHERE WERE YOU?! And where's Dragor?!"

"Dray's got important business to wrap up. Where we were is none of your business."

"The hell it ain't! Jester, what were you telling everyone about me checking up on a new brothel when you and Dray sent me to Bedlama?!"

"Look, Ala, you know Dray took Moley in as his protege, right?"

"Yea..."

"Well, after you left, we got a last minute call from a respectable client who insisted he spend quality time with you. I figure why disturb you during your fun at such short notice? Well, we had Moley with us and..."

"Decided to use him posing as me. Hmm, good call, bro; maybe there's hope for you after all. Just pray that Mo wasn't found out, or at least the client wasn't too respectable." *sighs* So glad she bought that! Well, it's been a long few weeks and I need my sleep. I started heading towards my quarters when I spotted something strange from one of the rooms. Curious, I took a peek and saw someone going over a piece of machinery. What that someone was doing didn't concern me, but who it was.

"Whatcha doin' RJ?" I asked. RJ turned around and looked over me with this meek look in his eye; it still shocks me, actually. I mean RJ turned into a yesman ain't something that happens everyday. But I had my doubts.

"Nothing." RJ replies.

"Yea, sure. If it ain't nothing, then let me see."

"No, I can't! The boss says it's top secret! Need to know basis!"

"Whatever you're up to, RJ, I need to know."

"No, you don't."

"Wait a minute...you're planning something, ain't ya?! You're planning to take out the boss again! I knew it! I knew it, you haven't changed a bit, RJ! You're still that double-crossing snake I knew in the old days!"

"And you're still that little pipsqueak who cried on his first night on the Penal Planet!"

"I did not cry!"

"Oh please, you were a blubbering piece of shit!"

"Just wait til the boss hears whatever it is you're up to!"

"Go ahead. Tell Mon*Star my diabolical plans. Meanwhile, I'll just give him a movie to watch, a hardcore porn movie, the way he likes it. Oh, you'll love it, Jester. Here, let me play it for you." RJ put a holovid on and that was no movie that was playing! It was a recording from a security camera from the Starship Casino, on the night Chi and I first got together! Then RJ shifted into that same frozen, neutral look like he used to get. "You remember that night the Mob first met the MATI, I was late for the meeting. Also, you've seemed to have forgotten what a big security freak Poker Face is. Well, I just happen to have stumbled upon this particular recording. Oh, and I thought Dragor was bad about keeping his hands to himself."

"RJ, wait! Now, let's not get too hasty about this..."

"My goodness, Jester. What would Mon*Star say if he found out you bonked one of Tkkla's concubines when you were ordered not to? I imagine him getting a new plaything, or worse, two or three..."

"Ala didn't know anything! Whatever issues you have with her, leave me out of this!"

"This has nothing to do with Astrala. I'm talking about you, your Mimian whore and whatever spawns between you." I then paled at those words. "I hear things on the MATI base, Jester, like how one of Ataka's concubines got pregnant from a foreign tryst, if you catch my meaning. Now, let's put two and two together and..."

"RJ, you...you wouldn't tell Mon*Star about this, would you?"

"Oh no?"

"Come on!! You of all people know what it's like raising a kid in the Mob!! I couldn't doom my own children--"

"So it's true!!" Damn! "Yea, I did raise Jade for five years thanks to the Planet Bastard, and now who knows where she is. Maybe she's alive, in hiding God knows where, or maybe she joined her mother! Now you understand why I was so aloof for that period of time, don't you?"

"RJ, I'm begging you! Don't tell Mon*Star about this!! Chi'll get killed!"

"Give me one good reason why I should keep my mouth shut." I found one of the laser pistols on the bench and grabbed it, immediately pulling the trigger and oberating the viewing screen and the holovid with it.

"HA!!" I shouted. "Now you got nothing on me!" But RJ just stayed cool through all of it, then he laughed. "What's so funny?"

"How stupid do you think I am?" he asked. "That was just a fraction of my blackmail material."

"Fraction?"

"That disk is but one of an infinite number of copies I've made in case a situation like this arose." Suddenly, I felt RJ's tail go around my neck, my body rising from the ground and I was choking. "Now, let's get one thing straight. You got dirt on me, I got dirt on you, so here's what we're going to do. You keep your little mouth shut and your nose out of my business, and your dirty little secret stays safe with me. However, you make one wrong move, any wrong move no matter how small, and I can't guarantee that another movie finds its way into Mon*Star's hands. Are we clear?"

"yes..." I whispered.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that."

"We're clear!" I choked, then RJ threw me into the nearest wall.

"Good. Now get out." I didn't hesitate to do just that! I got straight into my quarters and thought about what just happened; RJ is as ruthless as ever and now he's threatening my family if I rat him out to Mon*Star. On the other hand, if all goes well, Mon*Star could be taken out of the picture for good and possibly the MATI along with him. Then there'd be no reason for RJ to blackmail me, no reason for my family to be in danger.

So, this is what having a real family is like.

--fin

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