Merely Human

By
Lady MoonHawke


    She knelt on the ground as he approached, briny smell of tears rising from the damp earth before him, and though she reeked of his brother’s scent, his other senses detected no trace of the hanyou brat.

    They stayed in their respective positions for a long time, her on the ground, staring up at him with a look of deep despair splashed across her face, him standing above her, staring down with cold disdain.

    “Just do it if you’re going to,” she said at last.  Her voice was rough, carrying with it a tale of hours of ragged weeping.

    He blinked, slowly, deliberately, as if to ask what, exactly she thought he was going to do.

    Her chin tilted up a fraction more, baring the white column of her throat.  “Do it,” she urged.  “Finish it.  I’m done.  I quit.  I give up.  Just finish what he started and get it over with.”

    “Finish what?” he condescended to ask.  His brother’s bitch was a strange female, even for a human.

    Her eyes rolled a little, and his eyebrows lifted a fraction.  She dared to show impertinence to Lord Sesshoumaru?

    “Kill me,” she said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.  “Your damned brother’s done the job from the inside.  You may as well finish it from the outside.”

    “Where is Inu-Yasha?”

    She sighed, another impertinent sound.  “I don’t know,” she said simply.  “And right now, I don’t care.  Far away from here, I hope.”

    This was genuinely puzzling.  The wench had hung on the hanyou’s every word for two years.  What could have caused so drastic a change in her outlook?  “Why?” he asked bluntly.

    “That’s none of your business,” she retorted, temper flaring.

    “Then don’t presume to give me your opinion, wench,” he snapped back.

    “My name’s not wench,” she shouted, unraveling.  “My name’s Kagome!  Not wench, girl, hey, you or bitch.”  She spat the last with more invective than he would have thought possible.  “Ka!  Go!  Me!”

    “Very well, Ka-go-me,” he said, biting off each syllable.  “Where is Inu-Yasha?” he demanded again.

    “I told you, I don’t know.  He’s not here, and that’s fine with me.”

    He sniffed the air delicately, nose wrinkling with the assault of smells upon it.  “You are his mate,” he said.  “Surely you know where he can be found.”

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  She shook her head, pushing herself to her feet.  “I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”  She turned to walk away, muttering to herself.

    This was more insult that Sesshoumaru was willing to let pass, even from his brother’s bitch.  His hand shot out, catching her around the arm.

    “You’re not going anywhere, Ka-go-me.”


    Kagome shivered at the prick of claws on her arm.  When had that slight pain become a sensation she craved so much?  When had it all gone so wrong?  And why had Sesshoumaru allowed her to live?

    “What do you want?” she demanded.

    “I told you what I wanted,” he hissed.

    “I told you I don’t know where he is,” she screamed back.  “He wants me dead!  I don’t want to know where he is!”

    Sesshoumaru’s warm soft boa wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and his hand slid up to cup her chin firmly, tilting her head from side to side as he peered at the sides of her neck.  “I can smell him on you, in you.  Where is his mark?”

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she gritted out, his hand all but immobilizing her chin.

    “You mated with him, did you not?  I fail to see what else could create such a stench.  So that means you know where he is.”

    “Shut UP!  I DON’T want to talk about that!”  She yanked her chin free, though she was still wrapped in a silky but firm embrace.  “He...” she struggled to get her words out.  “He hates me now.  Nothing else is important.”

    The Demon Lord of the Western Lands glared at her for a moment, then rose silently into the air, Kagome still tight in his grip.  She squirmed, trying to free herself, until she realized just how far above the ground they were.  Much, much too far to fall down again safely.

    “Why are you doing this?” she asked, voice breaking.

    “You are perhaps the most important thing to my brother, aside from the Tetsusaiga.  You might be very useful to me.”

    “Not anymore,” she said quietly, slumping in dismay.



    She knelt at the low table, tracing the intricate inlay work with her eyes.  A cup of tea sat cooling before her, untouched.

    Sesshoumaru stood near the door, hands tucked into the voluminous sleeves of his white kimono.  “Why does my brother desire your death?” he asked bluntly.

    “That’s personal,” she said quickly.  “It’s really none of your business.”

    He glared down at her.  “It is my business.  You are, for the moment, a guest in my home.  If my idiot brother is going to try to tear down the walls to get to you, I have a right to know why.”

    She started to push herself to her feet to leave, but his glare intensified and she remained where she was.  “I’m not much of a guest if I can’t leave when I want, now am I?”

    “If you wish to be a prisoner, I can have you moved to quarters more befitting that station.  Or you can stay here and be my guest.”

    She glared back at him for a moment, then dropped her eyes, nodding.  “All right.  Guest, then.”

    “Good.  Now, what happened?”

    “It really is very personal, Sesshoumaru-san,” she said hesitantly.  “I don’t care to make the details of my private-”

    “I told you already, I know you and the hanyou mated.  You are keeping no secrets on that front.”  Sesshoumaru snapped.  “If the rift between you occurred after that, then you may begin there.”

    She nodded and swallowed.  “Hai.  When I woke up, Kikyo-”

    “The dead miko?”

    “Yes.  She was there when I woke up.  Inu-Yasha was talking to her.  I couldn’t hear what they were saying.  Then she looked at me, and I saw her smile.  She started to drag Inu-Yasha to Hell again.  I just... I snapped.  I grabbed my bow, and I shot her.”

    “And this troubled Inu-Yasha?” Sesshoumaru asked.  The thought of a female fighting or killing another female to keep his attention and affection seemed perfectly acceptable to him.  Endearing, even.

    She nodded.  “I didn’t just shoot her once.  I didn’t shoot to warn her away.  I shot...”  She pause, taking a deep breath.  “I shot every arrow I had at her.  I purified the body she’d been given.  She was a pile of ash, cloth and spent shafts by the time I was done.”

    “I still don’t see the connection.”

    “Don’t you get it?  He LOVED her.  He was going to HELL for her.  And I killed her.  He promised to protect her, and I killed her.”  She dropped her head on folded arms, weeping.

    “Did I not hear him more than once promise to protect you as well?”

    She lifted her head a little and nodded.  “Hai.”

    Sesshoumaru shook his head.  “My brother is an idiot.”

    Kagome’s head came up, eyes flaring.  “Don’t EVER say that!”

    “Listen to me, Kagome, and listen well.  I am not affected by my father’s weakness for human females, but even I know that a living, breathing woman is better than a shambling corpse reeking of the charnel house.  You would never have been first in his heart.  You are better off without him.”

    “Shut up!” she screamed.  “Shut up,  Shut Up!  SHUT UP!  He LOVED me!”

    “Your soul, maybe, if I understand the tales correctly.  Tell, me, how does it feel to know he preferred that stinking recreation to you?”

    “Go away!”  She jumped up from the table and threw herself at him, pounding on his chest.  “Go away!  I HATE you!”

    He picked her up easily and dropped her, none too gently, on a futon.  “Suit yourself.”  Before she could struggle out of the cushions, he had gone.  Kagome flopped back on the futon and cried herself to sleep.


    It was dark when she woke, the scent of steamed rice and broiled fish tempting her from sleep.  She picked listlessly at a few bites, then pushed the remainder away, appetite suddenly gone.  She stood, wandering the room, taking in the furnishings and decorations.  It was clearly designed to be a full-time bedroom, the futon set on a low platform, cabinets and various works of art lining the walls.  One in particular caught her eye, a tall man, with silvery hair and Inu-Yasha’s white ears, looking down with pride on a beautiful dark-haired woman holding a platinum-haired infant in her arms.  The baby’s own white ears were just barely visible.

    Kagome reached out and touched one careful finger to the image.  “Inu-Yasha...” she said softly.  That would never be them, she thought sadly.  He would never look at her again with that kind of warmth and caring.  For all she knew, the next time she saw him could be her last moment on earth, be it past or future.

    She was startled from her reverie by a soft tap at the door.  “Hai?”

    “Forgive me, Lady,” a woman’s voice said.  “Sesshoumaru-sama instructed me to see to your needs.”

    “Come in.”

    The door slid open, and a woman in a plain kimono came in, closing the door behind her.  She went immediately to the table and began to clear the barely-touched dishes.  “May I bring your Ladyship something else to eat?”

    “No, thank you.  I’m not very hungry.  Is Sesshoumaru-san still here?”

    “No, my Lady.  He left several hours ago.  I am to see that you have everything you require.  Would you care to make use of the bathhouse?  Sesshoumaru-sama also said you were to wear any of the kimono in this room you wish.”  Dishes gathered, she moved to open the cabinets, displaying shelf after shelf of exquisite silk robes.  Another cabinet revealed stacks of heavily embroidered obi.  Kagome fingered the worn material of her uniform.  Even though her high school fuku came with a slightly longer skirt, it was still scandalously short for the Sengoku Jidai.

    “I’d just like a yukata for now,” she said, hesitant to touch the heavy silks before she had bathed.  “I guess I’ll pick something out when I get back here.”

    “Of course, my Lady.  And may this unworthy one say that it is very considerate of you to wait until after your bath before wearing the late Lady’s kimono.”

    “These belonged to Inu-Yasha’s mother?”

    The woman winced at the name.  Apparently, Inu-Yasha was a sore subject around the castle.  "These were the quarters of the Lady Machiko during her time here.  She chose not to take her things when she moved back to her father’s house after the death of the Tai-Youkai.”

    “Inu-Yasha’s father,” Kagome murmured.

    “Please, Lady, for your own sake, do not repeat the name of the young lord too often, especially in the Lord’s vicinity.  He has gone into the most terrible rages when others have done so.”

    Kagome snorted.  “Well, the only thing Sesshoumaru and I have in common is Inu-Yasha, so he’s just going to have to get used to it.”

    “Please, Lady, please.  Do not mention his name.  It is better, in this place, if he does not exist.”   

    Kagome looked up at the portrait.  “I suppose so.  I’d like to go to the bathhouse now.  And while I’m gone, I’d like someone to remove that picture.”  After all, it’s better if he doesn’t exist.  Isn’t it?


    The bath was one of the best Kagome had seen in the Sengoku Jidai, somehow tapping into an underground hot spring and a reservoir of cold water, both flowing out of beautifully carved taps.

    The serving woman, Hana, had offered to help her clean up before her soak, and Kagome had given in, allowing the girl to scrub her back and wash her hair before slipping into the pool of perfectly warmed water.

    She was drifting in and out of sleep when the door opened again and a happy squeal filled the room.

    "Kagome-chan!  Sesshoumaru-sama didn't tell his Rin you were here!"  She ran to the edge of the pool and dropped to her knees.  "Can Rin soak in the pool with you?"

    Kagome had to smile at the girl's enthusiasm.  Despite his cold exterior, there had to be some good in Sesshoumaru, not only to resurrect Rin, but to keep her at his home and clearly make her so happy.  "Sure, Rin-chan."  She waited while the girl quickly scrubbed herself and rinsed off and slid into the pool with her.

    "Mmmm.  Rin's very glad you're here, Kagome-chan.  When Sesshoumaru-sama and his old Jaken go out, she gets lonely sometimes."

    "He doesn't leave you here alone, does he, Rin-chan?" Kagome asked.

    "No… not alone, not really.  But the servants don't really talk to Rin.  It's not the same as going places with Sesshoumaru-sama.  But after the Feather Lady stole Rin once, Sesshoumaru-sama said Rin would be safer here.  No one ever comes here."

    "So what do you do?"

    "Ano, Rin picks flowers for Sesshoumaru-sama, and draws pictures sometimes.  And sometimes Hana-chan plays with Rin.  But mostly Rin just sits outside in the garden.  Do you want to sit in the garden with me, Kagome-chan?”

    “Hmmm.  We’ll see.”  Surely she could find something better for the little girl to do than sit ignored in a garden.  “Do you know how to read, Rin-chan?”

    “No.  Rin never learned to read.  But she can fish, and she knows what plants are good to eat,” the girl replied brightly.

    Of course, Kagome thought.  Practical education.  Maybe we can do something about that.  “Do you want to learn?  I know how, and it might be fun for you.”

    “Ano...”

    “I think Sesshoumaru-san would be pleased,” Kagome said, sweetening the pot.  “Think how happy he’d be to see how smart you are.”

    “You think Sesshoumaru-sama would be happy?”

    “Oh, absolutely!”  Of course, I have no idea.  For all I know, he likes his women dumb as sticks.  Too bad.  Ack!  What am I thinking?!  I’m NOT going to be Sesshoumaru’s woman!  “Of course he will!”  He’ll just have to deal.


    The little girl was a quick study, Kagome had to admit a few days later.  They'd moved through the kanji, then into the katakana and hiragana.  More than once, Kagome longed for the textbooks she'd shoved carelessly into her yellow backpack.  There was a library room down the corridor from her own room, and she'd been assured by the servants that her presence there would be no offense, but it wasn't the same.  Her English text, history, math.  There was so much more she could show the little girl, if only she had the tools.

    Rin had taken to numbers with a facility that amazed Kagome.  Basic computations, sum, differences, products, quotients, seemed to dance around the child.  In no time, Kagome was sure, Rin would be moving with ease through the complex theorems of algebra that left Kagome's head hurting.  Convinced it would please her precious Sesshoumaru-sama, everything the little girl did seemed to turn to gold.

    They had lessons morning and afternoon both, taking advantage of the beautiful garden to study sometimes.  And it was enough, if one went to bed early enough and got up late enough, to fill the time.  Almost.


    "Kagome-sensei?"

    That had been the first lesson, that Kagome the teacher and Kagome the friend were different.  And while the sensei would be strict, her friend still loved her.  "Hai, Rin-san?"  And respect was a two-way street.

    "Sesshoumaru-sama's been gone a long time."

    "Has he?" Kagome asked.  She knew well how long it had been.  14 days, the last few more excruciating than the rest.  Certain facts were becoming clear to her, and though the servants couldn't help but notice, she'd tried to keep it from the little girl.  "How long does Sesshoumaru-san normally go out for?"

    "A few days, mostly, or a week.  Since he brought Rin here-"

    "Say 'atashi,' not 'Rin,'" Kagome corrected gently.

    "Hai, Sensei."  She began again.  "Since he brought me here, he's never been gone this long."

    Kagome shook off a chill.  If he doesn’t return, who will protect…. Shut up.  You'll learn to protect yourself.  "I'm sure he'll be back soon, Rin-san.  And if anything had happened, that nasty old Jaken would have come blubbering in here to whine at us."

    The girl giggled.  "About how it was all our fault."  She sobered.  "I don't ever want anything to happen to Sesshoumaru-sama."

    Kagome smiled.  "Of course you don't.  Now let's see your paper."  She checked through the girl's answers quickly.  "My goodness, Rin-san.  At this rate you'll know everything I know soon."

    "Admirable," a voice said from behind them.  "Assuming anything you know is of value."

    "Sesshoumaru-sama!"  Rin jumped to her feet and ran to embrace the youkai lord.  "I missed you!"

    He put a finger under her chin, tilting her face up.  "Go inside now, Rin," he said softly.  "Tell Jaken to give you your present.  Tell him I said to."

    Her grin broadened, if possible.  "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!"  She squeezed him once again, then turned back to Kagome and bowed.  "Arigato gozaimasu, Kagome-sensei."

    Kagome nodded.  "Do what Sesshoumaru-san says now, Rin."  The little girl turned and ran inside.

    "What have you been teaching her?" Sesshoumaru asked, gliding across the short grass of the garden.

    Kagome shrugged, gathering the parchment.  "Reading, writing, a little mathematics.  She's a very bright child."

    Sesshoumaru reached down and pulled her to her feet, papers sliding from her grasp.  "Why?"

    She looked at the ground.  "Something to do, for both of us.  She doesn't have a  lot of opportunities here to make friends."

    "Friends are a weakness," he sneered.

    "Not necessarily," she shot back.

    "You were friends with my brother, were you not?  It was not of benefit to you in the end," he pointed out.

    "No, I suppose it wasn't.  Maybe he and I weren't friends.  But I do have friends."

    "Indeed."  He turned and moved away, then looked back at her.  "Come with me."

    She followed, surprised when he only led her back to her room.  "Sesshoumaru-san, what…?"

    "The exterminator and the monk were among your friends, yes?" he interrupted.

    "Yes."

    "There were concerned over your whereabouts, and your safety.  Once they were finally assured you were well, the monk gave me that."  He pointed, and she noticed for the first time her giant yellow backpack, resting in a corner.  "He seemed to think it would be of use to you."

    She went to the corner quickly, hefting the bag onto the futon platform and opening it.  She hadn't been home to modern times for a while, so her stores of food were all but gone.  But her personal things, her brush, her pictures, the things that kept her connected to who she was were all there.  And her books. 

    "Arigato, Sesshoumaru-san.  Now I can start teaching Rin English, and when she's ready for algebra, I've got the book…"  She was talking more to herself than him as she pulled things from the pack.

    "But why are you teaching her at all?  Females have no need-"

    "Everyone has need of an education where I come from," she said, cutting him off.  "Even females.  And she's very smart."

    "And you wish to do this, to educate her?"

    "Yes.  It gives me something to do all day beside sitting around thinking of Inu-"

    "Do not finish that sentence.  Educate the child if you wish.  See that she learns manners and to comport herself as a lady as well.  Consider yourself her primary caretaker."

    "She already thinks of you that way, Sesshoumaru-san.  She's very attached to you."

    "To me?  I, Sesshoumaru, have no interest in the care or raising of human females."  He turned in a swirl of silk and fur and strode out of the room.

    Kagome sighed.  "Well, you've done all right so far."


    The morning started like the previous few had; a wonderful moment between sleeping and waking while she wallowed in the soft warmth of the futon, then the over whelming urge to race from the bed.  She knelt over the enameled basin in the corner, coughing and retching through wave after wave of nausea.

    She huddled over the bowl, arms wrapped around her waist, eyes squeezed shut, trying desperately to quell the roiling of her stomach.  A warm hand touched the back of her neck, gathering her hair back and holding it as she dry-heaved a final time.

    Spams past, she sat up, eyes still closed, leaning against the body next to her.  And she realized quickly that it wasn’t the servant Hana next to her, but a harder masculine form.  She cracked one eye to see a vista of white silk, silvery hair and a fluffy boa.

    “Goman nasei, Sesshoumaru-san,” she whispered, trying to move away.  The hand on the back of her neck held her firmly, though.

    “Clear it away,” he directed, and Hana hurried in to take the noxious basin out.  There was a pattering of feet in the hall.

    “Rin,” Kagome whispered.  “She doesn’t know...”

    He looked down at her, then turned his head toward the door.  “Rin, wait outside.”  The pattering stopped almost immediately.  He looked back down at her.  “How long have you been ill?”

    Her hair was like a leash in his hand.  She could go no where until he released her.  “Just the last few mornings.  It’s nothing, Sesshoumaru-san.”

    “No, it is not.”  She heard him inhale deeply, could almost sense him sorting through her scent.  “You were fertile when you mated with my brother.”

    “I... I suppose so.  Human females...  We count our cycles differently.”  Her cheeks flamed red with embarrassment.

    He looked down at her, eyes narrowing.  “I fail to see how a discussion of a natural occurrence could produce such a reaction.”

    “It’s a private matter to most women, Sesshoumaru-san.  Not something often discussed in mixed company.”  She leaned away, ignoring the pull on her hair.  “May I rise?”

    He released his hold on her hair, stepping away.  “What do you intend to do now?”

    “Have some tea and rinse my mouth, maybe eat a little breakfast, get dressed and meet Rin for our morning lesson.”  She stood slowly.

    “What do you intend to do about my brother’s child?”

    There were herbs, she knew.  Kaede had explained the use of many medicinal plants.  “I’m keeping the baby.  Regardless of Inu-Yasha’s involvement, this is my baby, and I want it.”

    “He is searching for you, you know.”

    She nodded.  “I know.  I don’t intend to leave the compound.”

    “You wish to remain here, then, under my protection?”

    Her head dipped.  “Hai.  Onegai, Sesshoumaru-san.  Allow me to remain.”

    He regarded her for a long moment.  “Very well.  Continue to work with Rin, as your... condition allows.  I will make arrangements for a mid-wife when it becomes necessary.”

    “Arigato gozaimasu, Sesshoumaru-san.”

    He left before she lifted her head.



    “Now, Kagome-chan?”

    “Not yet.”  She knelt on one knee behind the girl, making subtle adjustments to her stance and grip.  “Now close your eyes, and see where the arrow’s going to hit in your head.  Imagine it leaving the bow and flying to the center of the target.  Can you see it?”

    “Hai.  I see it.”

    “Good.  Open your eyes, and make it happen.”

    Rin opened her eyes and freed the arrow.  It whistled across the garden and hit the target with a solid thunk.  It wasn’t a bull’s-eye, but she had landed in one of the outer rings.

    “Good job, Rin!  You hit it.”

    “Yay!  I did it!  I did it!”  She jumped up and down, then threw herself at Kagome, overbalancing the older girl and sending her sprawling to the ground.

    “Oof!”

    “Rin!”  The little girl’s celebration was cut short by Sesshoumaru’s voice.  “Inside, now!”

    She dropped the bow instantly, cowering at the harsh tone of his voice.  “Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she murmured, running into the castle.

    “You didn’t have to do that,” Kagome protested, trying to move into a position so she could stand.

    “She could have seriously injured you,” he said, picking her up and setting her on her feet.

    She shook his grip off.  “Why do you always treat me like some porcelain doll?” she demanded.

    Faster than the eye could follow, his hand was on her cheek, thumb tracing her cheekbone, claw just millimeters below her eyelashes.  “Because to me, you are just that fragile,” he replied evenly.  “Only the tiniest bit more force, the slightest slip on my part, and all this effort would be in vain.  And I, Sesshoumaru, do nothing in vain.”

    She lifted her chin a little, feeling his hand slip down from her face.  “So all I am to you is part of some plot to get back at Inu-Yasha?” she asked, deliberately throwing the hanyou’s name in his face.

    “And your presence here, in my castle, is not the same?  Be glad, human, that you are worth as much effort to me as you are.  Others have died for less.”

    “I’m sure they have.”  She dipped her head and turned to walk away, one hand resting protectively on her rounded abdomen.

    Not much longer now, Sesshoumaru thought.  And I can only hope she has the strength to survive.  Or all of this has been wasted effort.


    “Why did you not go home?”

    “What?”

    “I assume you have one.  Why did you not go home after my brother betrayed you?”

    They were sitting in his library after dinner.  He frequently requested her company in the evenings, though many times he would merely sit and read to himself or write, ignoring her completely for an hour or two before dismissing her for the evening.  But tonight, it seemed, he wanted to talk.  And about her, no less.

    “I, ah...  I tried.  I couldn’t get back.”

    “Why not?”

    “The way was... blocked.  I couldn’t get through.”

    He studied her a moment.  “Explain.”

    She sighed.  “My home is...  It’s in the future.  I was brought to this time through the Bone-Eater’s Well in Inu-Yasha’s Forest.  A centipede-youkai dragged me through, trying to get the Shikon no Tama.  I woke Inu-Yasha and he stopped her.  Then the Jewel was shattered, and we started the quest.  The rest, you probably know already.”

    “I heard the rumors while searching for my father’s tomb,” he agreed.  “A young miko in strange clothing, the reincarnation of the bitch who enchanted my brother.”

    “Sometimes I think you actually care about him, the way you talk,” she said hesitantly.

    “He is my father’s blood.  If anyone kills him, it will be me.”

    “And yet you didn’t.  I’ve seen it myself, Sesshoumaru-san.  There were many times you could have killed Inu-Yasha if you really wanted him dead, and yet you walked away.  Why?”

    He looked away, turning toward the fire.  “It’s late.  Go to bed.”

    “Why didn’t you kill him, Sesshoumaru?”

    “Konbanwa, Kagome-san.”  He rose and left her with the dying fire.



    The midwife, one of the lesser youkai who had served the Inutaisho, slipped out the door and approached Sesshoumaru deferentially.  "Well?" he asked.

    "My Lord, she’s exhausted.  She will not last much longer."

    "You are certain?"

    "My Lord, it's a miracle she's lasted as long as she has.  Any other human…"

    "Very well.  I will explain the situation to her.  She will be ready to continue in a few minutes."

    "You believe she will accept, my Lord?"

    "For herself, never.  For the sake of the child?  She will do anything."


    She lay curled on her side, panting through the pain.  What did they say on all those shows?  Breathe through the pain?  Yeah, right.  She curled herself up tighter as another wave of cramps washed over her.  "Ow, ow, ow…"

    "Kagome?"

    She clenched her teeth until the worst of the pain had passed.  "Hai, Sesshoumaru-san?"

    He stared down at her, an unfamiliar expression on his face.  "The midwife is concerned.  She believes you will not survive on your own."

    "Women… have babies… all the time… Sesshoumaru-san.  I'll manage."

    He came closer, settling on the edge of the bed and brushing a tendril of her damp hair back, a strangely tender gesture.  "No, you will not.  Hanyou births are difficult under the best of circumstances.  A human woman requires the strength of her youkai mate just to have a chance of surviving."

    She shook her head.  “No.  I don’t want him here.  And he’s not my mate.  It was just a one-time thing.”  She broke off her rant to grimace.  “Ahhh, ahhh.  Damn it!  Ow!”

    Sesshoumaru heard the midwife’s words echo in his head.  Any other human... would be dead by now.  He’d seen it himself.  And this slip of a girl fought for her life and her child with every bit of will she possessed.  “I was not suggesting Inu-Yasha,” he said quietly, letting her work out the rest.

    “Then who...”  Her eyes went wide before she grimaced again.  “You’ve got to be kidding.  You hate humans.”

    “As a rule,” he agreed.  “But, there are exceptions.  You are tolerable to look at, reasonably clean, and far from a fool, usually.  In a word, acceptable as a mate.”

    She pushed herself up, leaning on a trembling arm.  “And I’m sure you’re a great catch, too, what with the fangs and the claws and the whole poison thing.  But you don’t love me, and I certainly don’t love you.”  She fell back on the pillow, panting in exertion.

    “Love did as much for you as friendship, Kagome,” he said softly and without malice.  “Perhaps you should try practicality.”

    She stared deep into his amber eyes, similar to Inu-Yasha’s and so very different at the same time.  He would never look at her and see another woman.  Whatever she meant to him, it was for herself and not who she may have been.  “You’re not joking about this.”

    “No.  I, Sesshoumaru, do not joke.”

    “Yeah, I didn’t think so,” she muttered.  “All right.  I’ve gone through this much already.  Do whatever you have to do.”

    He rested his hand on the top of her head, and something in his eyes shifted, though Kagome couldn’t have said what it was.  “Remain here.  I will return shortly.”  He stood, fingers barely brushing her cheek, and moved away.

    Kagome closed her eyes as another wave of pain washed over her.  “Yeah, right,” she murmured.  “Like I’m going anywhere.”


    She didn’t realize she fallen asleep until they woke her, moving her.  She blinked and stirred in the firm grip.  “Sesshoumaru-san?”

    “Hush, Kagome.  It will be over soon.”

    They were shifting her, sliding her, someone was moving her legs.  “Hey, don’t,” she protested weakly.  Gods, when had she gotten so tired?

    “Let the midwife work.”

    She was sitting upright now, leaning against... something...?  Someone?  She reached a hand back over her shoulder, feeling silky strands then warm skin as her fingers met the side of his face.  Soft, she thought.  So smooth.

    He caught her hand with his and laced their fingers together, moving her arm down and settling his chin on her shoulder.  “Lean on me,” he whispered, feeling her fingers curl tight around his, ”and push with all our strength combined.” 

    His youki wrapped around and sank into her, bringing her back to full consciousness and making the hair on the back of her neck stand up.  Or maybe that was the result of his fangs scraping shallow furrows in the skin of her throat.  He licked the wounds closed, then shifted his head to whisper in her ear.  “You are mine, now.  Both of you belong to me.”



    He’s so beautiful, Kagome thought.  Hell, they’re both beautiful.

    Sesshoumaru held the baby, and she watched as he drank in the child’s every feature.  You’d think he was really the daddy, and not just an honorary step-father-slash-uncle kind of thing.  She watched as the Demon Lord of the Western Lands traced the pale blue birthmark on the boy’s forehead, a crescent moon.  Sesshoumaru seemed so fascinated by the boy that she felt safe in asking a question or two.

    “So does he pass inspection?”

    His glance flicked to her a moment, then back to the baby.  “He is well formed in every regard I can inspect.  What abilities he may develop can only be seen in time.”

    “So what about his head?”

    “He has my father’s ears.  I must admit to not finding them so flagrant an insult on him as on my brother.”

    She resisted laughing and failed.  “Ow.  Don’t make me laugh.  I’m still sore.” 

    “I told you a hanyou birth was difficult for the human mother.  You are considerably more recovered than most would be at this point.”  And yet, a week after the birth, neither Sesshoumaru nor the midwife would let her out of bed.

    “He’s not hanyou,” she protested out of habit.

    “So I have noticed.  How ever did you manage to turn his human blood to youkai?”

    She sighed and shifted a little.  She’d avoided the question the last time he’d asked, and Sesshoumaru hated to repeat himself.  “I knew how hard it was for your brother,” she said quietly.  His name almost never came up anymore.  “How much he despised that side of himself, the weakness, the changes.  He only hesitated to become youkai because he was afraid of forgetting everyone.  And there would be no Tetsusaiga for my son.  So I had to protect him myself.”

    “You could have chosen to purify his youkai side and turn him human,” Sesshoumaru pointed out.

    “How dangerous would it have been for you, sheltering a human mate and yet another human child?  No.  I couldn’t put you in that kind of danger.”

    “It is my place to protect you,” he said, scowling slightly.  “Not the other way around.”  The baby flailed, tiny palm smacking against Sesshoumaru’s face.  “Ah, you don’t like that face, little pup?”

    “Anyway, it’s not his ears I was asking about,” Kagome said, trying to get back to the original subject.  “How did he wind up with your mark on his forehead?  I would have expected the stripes first.”

    “They may come, with maturity.  The other shows that he is the eldest of his line.”

    “The only, if I have anything to say about it,” Kagome muttered, shifting uncomfortably.

    The mood in the room grew chilly, and Sesshoumaru placed the baby unceremoniously into her arms.  “I told you before, I have no taste for human females.”  He turned without another word and stormed from the room.

    She stared after him, absently comforting the now-crying baby.  “Mama said the wrong thing that time, baby.”


    Golden eyes focused on a spot in the tall grass, tiny nose wiggling and white ears swiveling madly.  The small figure froze for a long moment then pounced, one chubby infant hand reaching out and snagging something small and brown.

    “Mama!  Rin-neechan!  Lookie I got!”

    The little inu-youkai ran up the his mother and older sister, treasure grasped firmly in his grip.  “Lookie I got!” he shouted again.  He opened his hand to reveal the crushed remains of a large cricket.  “Ohhh, smashed,” he said sadly.

    “Did you kill it, Sesshou-inu?” Sesshoumaru asked, gliding up.

    “Smashed,” the boy said, holding up the remains of the insect for the Demon Lord’s inspection.

    “So it is.”  The corners of his mouth twitched up.  “It’s your first kill, my son.  You should eat it.”

    “Eat bug?”  The boy frowned dubiously at the smear on his palm.

    “Sesshoumaru,” Kagome began.

    “Do not interfere,” he said, shooting a glance at her.  Then he looked back to the boy.  “Eat it quickly, before it becomes nasty.”

    The boy studied him for a long moment, then trustingly put the insect into his mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly.  The face he made, however, indicated that he believed it was already too late.  “Yuck!”

    Sesshoumaru knelt down in front of him.  “In the future, my son, you will kill many things.  When we are at war, we must kill that which opposes us.  And there will be times when we must kill for food.  But we do not kill for pleasure.  Do you understand?”

    The boy stared at him a moment.  “Tastes bad.”

    “Close enough for now.  Rin, take Sesshou-inu inside.  Perhaps Hana can find something more to his liking for lunch.”  The girl, now almost a young woman, rose quickly and took the little boy’s hand, leading him inside.

    “I can’t believe you made him eat that disgusting thing,” Kagome said once they were out of earshot.

    “You would be less pleased, I believe, if he came to enjoy the blood-lust of killing,” Sesshoumaru said firmly.  “He is susceptible to that particular weakness.”

    “He’s youkai,” she protested.  “He’s not going to lose his mind like that if his life’s threatened.”

    “Why not?  It took me many years to learn not to lose myself in the beast.  When it’s time, he will learn as well.”  He stood and moved over to her, helping her to her feet.  “He made his first kill a few days short of his first birthday.  You should be proud.”

    “I didn’t do anything,” she protested.

    He was looking at her strangely, like there was something he was wanting, or expecting.  “You have made him strong,” he said gently.  “He must be presented to the council soon.”

    “He’s so young...”

    “And he has made his first kill.  It’s time for them to see my son.”


    She stood outside the council chambers holding Sesshou-inu in her arms.  He’d have to walk as soon as they entered, to go up and sit at Sesshoumaru’s right hand.  But for just another moment, he could be her baby boy still.

    The fusama slid open, and she set the boy on his feet, letting a servant fuss with straightening their plum-blossom embroidered kimono.  Kagome looked down and smiled at him.  “Don’t be afraid.  We’re just going in to see Otou-sama.”

    He smiled broadly, displaying a pair of wicked fangs that had just finished growing in.  “Hai, Mama.”

    They walked into the room, and Kagome was instantly aware of the eye turned her was, and wave of hostility aimed at her and her son.  Another human, she could almost hear them thinking.  Another Tai Inu-youkai weakened by a mortal girl.  Well, not this time.  She reached out and gathered the threads of her own power to her, power she had mostly ignored for two years.  It was thin, but it was there, and as she pulled on it, it strengthened, and she wrapped it around them until her own aura of power fairly shoved aside most of the youki in the room.  There, she thought.  That should do it.  I may be human, but now they know I’m not weak or helpless.  And neither is my son.

    She led Sesshou-inu to the front of the room, where Sesshoumaru knelt on a low platform.  She knelt before him, helping her son to kneel as well, then bowed low before him. 

    He nodded as she straightened up, gesturing her elegantly to one side, and reached out for Sesshou-inu, indicating a place beside him on the platform.  “Come up here, my son.  Sit here, at my right hand.  There’s much for us to hear.”

    Kagome smiled as she moved to her own place.  It was more than she’d ever hoped.


    “You impressed the members of the council greatly.”

    Kagome turned from where Hana was removing her heavy over-wrap.  “I didn’t want them to look down on you, just because of me.”  She waved Hana away.  “Will you sit and eat, Sesshoumaru-san?”

    He looked at here a moment, then sat at the low table laden with dishes.  Kagome knelt as well, not across the table, but to the side, and poured tea for him, then served him miso and rice.  “Would Sesshoumaru-san like sake?”

    He held out the tiny cup, and she poured for him again.  He downed the warmed wine, and she offered to pour again, but he refused.  “Why are you suddenly so subservient?  If I desired this kind of female, I could have easily acquired one long before you came along.”

    “I.... I don’t know any other way to thank you.  My son’s future is safe, now.  He’s accepted by the other tai-youkai.  I don’t have to worry about him so much, now.”

    “You thought he was in some kind of danger?”

    “I know what they thought of me.  I’m human.  They’d normally never accept...”

    He cut her off.  “You gave every demon in the room a very clear idea of your power today.  No youkai will question Sesshou-inu’s place after today.  You are my mate, and he is my heir.  There is no need for concern.”

    “I know I’m not what you wanted.”

    “Perhaps not.  I did not intend to take a human mate.  But everything has worked out well enough.  I am not displeased.”  He reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.  “Do not trouble yourself anymore about this matter.”

    “Hai, Sesshoumaru-san.”


Epilogue

    “Kagome-sama”

    Kagome looked up from the book she and Rin were bent over.  “What?”

    “Lord Sesshoumaru requests your presence.  He says there is a visitor you should see.”

    “Oh?”  She stood carefully.  There was as yet no outward physical sign of the child she carried, but standing too quickly often made her dizzy.  “Who?”

    “The Lord’s brother.”


    Sesshoumaru caught her arm as she moved to walk out into the courtyard.  "What do you intend to do?"

    "I don't know," she said quietly.  "I tried to make myself forget a long time ago."  There was a shriek of high-pitched laughter from outside, and Kagome turned.  "I should be out there."

    "Will you tell him?"

    "I doubt I'll have to."  She drew her over-kimono a little tighter around her shoulders and stepped around the corner and out the door.

    He was in the courtyard with the boy, watching the child run in circles, shouting and waving a miniature sword.  She let him watch his fill, taking in the boy's features that ran so strongly in his family.  Once she was sure he knew what he was seeing she called her son over.

    "Go inside now, son.  Otou-sama is waiting for you."

    "Hai, Okaa-sama."  The little boy threw his arms around her legs in a brief hug, waved a quick good-bye to the stranger, then ran in the door, geta abandoned on the steps.

    Kagome stared into golden eyes she used to know so well.  "What do you want, Inu-Yasha?  Are you finally getting around to killing me?"

    "Have you been here the entire time?" Inu-Yasha demanded, ignoring her question.  "I've been wandering around Japan for 5 years, looking for you, and you've been here, with him?  Your mother didn't even know where you were."

    "The last thing you said to me was that you would kill me when we met again.  It seemed like a good idea to stay out of your way, and Sesshoumaru-san was good enough to invite me to be his guest.  I didn't think you'd ever come looking for me here."

    "I wouldn't have," he protested.  "Sango finally told me that Sesshoumaru told her and Miroku you were safe.  That was it.  Not where you were or how you were doing.  Just that you were safe.  What the hell was I supposed to think, Kagome?"

    "What do you care?" she cried, voice breaking.  "You made your choice, Inu-Yasha, and I made mine.  End of story.  Now just tell me if you're going to kill me or not."

    "Gods, Kagome, no.  I was angry.  I didn’t mean-"  He moved closer, reaching out one clawed hand to wipe away her tears, but she flinched away, stepping back.

    "Don't touch me, Inu-Yasha.  Don't think about me, don't try to see me.  I may as well be dead to you."

    He reached out again, grabbing her wrist.  "You have my son in there, with him, and you're telling me to leave?"

    "Sesshou-inu is my son," she hissed, eyes narrowing, "and while you may have sired him, Sesshoumaru is his father, and father of my child soon to come.  Now leave.  Us.  Alone."  She ripped her wrist from his grasp and turned away from him, walking back inside.  The doors slid shut behind her with finality.


    She found the tai-youkai in his study, seated on a low bench, book open on his lap, but she didn't think he was reading.

    "You're bleeding," he said, voice dangerously quiet.  "Did he injure you?"

    She looked down at her wrist, where a few drops of blood oozed where she had yanked away from his grasp.  "No," she replied, rubbing the small drops away with her thumb.  "I did it to myself.  I always did."  She knelt on the floor next to him, leaning her head against his leg.  "I didn't think I would ever really put it all behind me."

    "And do you have any regrets now?"

    "Only that I couldn't do it sooner."  She felt his hand move, coming to rest on her head, stroking her hair.  Showing affection would never be his strong point, she knew, but it felt good to know he cared.  She was his, for whatever it was worth, and in some strange way, he was hers. too.

    "I thought you didn't suffer from your father's weakness for human females," she teased gently.

    "Such an extraordinary creature as yourself, Kagome, could never be mistaken for something merely human."


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