I’ve been looking for that special one
And I’ve been searching for someone to give my love
When I thought that all the hope was gone
A smile there you were and I was gone
“One in a Million” – Bosson
 

 Limbo Galaxy, former home of Mon*Star and his Mob of criminals, was finally quiet.

 Commander Jonathan Greyer leaned against the window frame, watching the planet of Bedlama spin peacefully down below.  He sipped idly at his coffee, grimacing at the taste.  Thought the station still ran efficiently, there were times when he missed the little luxuries that seemed to be everywhere in years past.  Like decent coffee.

 A knock at the door pulled Jonathan from his reverie and he returned to his desk.  “Enter,” he called, sitting down.

 His assistant Lynna entered, bearing a sheaf of paper,  “Daily reports and mail, sir,” she said, offering him the pile.

 He accepted it with a smile.  “Thank you, Lynna.”  He was always careful to be calm and gentle around the sensitive orphan.  Raised with his own niece and nephew, he had assumed her guardianship and sponsored her application to the SilverHawks Academy.  That she had finished the rigorous program still shocked him.

 The pile was a mixture of the usual reports and some personal mail.  He selected an envelope with Aurora’s familiar script on the from with a smile.  He’d been half-afraid that he would never hear from Aurora again after their torrid encounter in Mojave.  For one bright and shining moment, he’d had everything; her heart, her soul and her body.  Then in the cold light of day, she had calmly walked out the door with her husband and never looked back.  He’d told himself that her hand in the window had been a farewell, but time and distance had made him doubt even that small gesture.

 He opened the letter and spent a moment just marveling at her beautiful script on the heavy cream stationery.  So few people wrote really nice letters anymore, and Aurora was one of them.  It was a quality Jonathan’s late father would have appreciated.  Smiling to himself, he began to read.
 

 Dear Jonathan,

I’m sure you have noticed my hesitation to communicate with you since our encounter in Mojave.  I will not distress you by saying that I regret what happened between us.  But neither can I comfort you by expressing regret for returning to Colorado.  I feel I should express that there were no repercussions from our folly.  Had there been, rest assured that I would have contacted you sooner, though I would expect nothing.  Steven is a generous husband and adoring father.  I have no doubt that he would be a wonderful role model to any child of mine.

Jonathan, you must let me go.  I still feel your desire for me though months and light-years stand between us.  I can be nothing to you now but a former colleague, and perhaps a friend in time.  Free me, Jonathan, and in doing do, free yourself as well.
 

       Aurora Landon

 He crumpled the letter without thinking, indelibly creasing the parchment, grinding the hateful words together.  All he had wanted was one spark, one hint of love, and she had offered only lukewarm friendship sometime in the distant future.  It was like he was nothing to her.

 What did you expect, after what you did?  You may not be able to see them, but you scarred her for life, a little voice pointed out.

 “She forgave me,” he whispered.  “We made love….”

 She fucked you, the voice said harshly, or maybe she just let you fuck her.  It meant nothing to her, just like her words.  She never really gave a damn about you.

 “Screw you then, Aurora,  Like you screwed me.”

 “Sir?”

 Jonathan looked up, startled to find that he was not alone.  Lynna still stood across the desk from him, eyes like saucers, trembling slightly.  He put on his gentlest smile to reassure her.

 “It’s nothing, Lynna.  Don’t worry about it.  Anything important in here?” he asked.

 “The information came about the new embassy on Bedlama.  The Ambassador should be along in the next few weeks,” she reported.

 “Anyone we know?”

 “A former liaison on some kind.  It’s hard to get details.  I get the impression that the government hasn’t quite decided yet.”

 A chill ran up Jonathan’s spine as he recalled Aurora’s first permanent posting: Liaison officer.  But surely she would have mentioned it in her scathing letter.  “No better info on who they might be sending or when?”

 She shook her head.  “No, sir.  I’m sorry.  So you want me to keep trying?”

 It was his turn to shake his head.  “No.  Let’s do this: make sure this place gets a spit and polish, and we’ll hope for the best.”

 She made a note on her small memo pad.  “Yes, sir.  Anything else?”

 “Nope.  Dismissed.”

 Lynna saluted and left, and Jonathan leaned back in his chair.  Please God, not her, he thought.  I don’t think I can take another round right now.
 
 

 Jonathan looked over his troops once more as the Embassy shuttle made its way slowly up the launch tunnel.  Hotwing and Flashback, his veteran soldiers, stood at the far end of the line, with Moonstriker, Jeff Merino, next to them.  In close to 20 years of service, Jon had only seen one pilot better than Jeff, and that was Jeff’s brother Michael.  Nearest Jon were his three newest recruits, his own niece and nephew, Nikki and Merrill, and their foster sister, Lynna.  Nikki was a mechanical genius and Merrill an ideal second in command.  And little Lynna.  The proudest day of Jonathan’s life had come when she had graduated from the Academy and accepted her commission.  Now she stood straight and tall at his side, each of her 5 feet and 4 inches radiating pride.

 The shuttle settled gently onto the landing pad, and Jonathan took a deep breath and stepped forward.  After a moment, the hatch slid open, revealing the Ambassador.  He waited a moment for the ramp to extend itself to the deck, and Jonathan stepped up to meet him at its base.

 “Ambassador O’Riordan, I’m Commander Jonathan Greyer.  Pleased to meet you, sir.”

 The stout man accepted Jonathan’s offered hand.  “Kevin O’Riordan.  The pleasure is all mine.  Commander Stargazer spoke very highly of you.”

 “Commander Edward Stargazer, sir, or Mrs. Landon?”  He chilled for a moment, wondering how Aurora could know this man; what she could have said.

 “Both, actually.  And eerily similar, I have to say, Edward being dead, God rest his soul.  But both described you at one time or another as the perfect man for this job.  Mrs. Landon assured me that I could depend on you for any assistance necessary.”

 Jonathan smiled, masking his sigh of relief.  “Well, that being the case, I can only hope to continue to be worthy of her faith in me.  I have many fond memories of working with her in the past.”

 “She mentioned a conference you two had attended together recently.  I didn’t realize she was still in active service,” the ambassador mentioned.  “Is she still involved up here?”

 “No, sir.  It was just happenstance that we went to the conference together.  She happened to be visiting the Merinos at the same time I was.”  For both their sakes, he kept the fact that they had slept together to himself.  He sincerely hoped she’d been as discreet.

 “Just as well,” O’Riordan said.  “You have a new crew, the station running the way you want.  You don’t need Command sending big-wigs up here to look over your shoulder.  And that’s not what I’m going to do.  As soon as the Embassy building is ready, we will be out of your hair.’

 “’We?’” Jonathan echoed.

 “I forgot to mention?  Sure and it will be the death of me, don’t you know?”  He turned back toward the ship.  “Come on out if you’re of a mind to, darling.”

 Jonathan looked up to the hatch and was in perfect position to watch as an angel appeared.

 He watched as she descended the ramp, studying her from dainty feet to the copper curls draped over her shoulders.  She stopped next to the ambassador, and Jonathan was further captivated by her sparkling green eyes and dazzling smile.

 “Commander, allow me to present Saoirse Flynn O’Riordan.”  Jonathan felt frozen; another beautiful woman who could never be his.  The Ambassador was a lucky man to be married to a woman like this.  Then, miraculously, he continued.  “My daughter.”

 Jon felt his cheeks stretch in their first real smile since Aurora’s letter a few weeks ago.

 “Miss O’Riordan, I can’t tell you how happy I am to meet you.”
 
 

 Jonathan looked at her across the mess hall table.  “Tell me again how to say it,” he requested.

 “SAYR-sha,” she said, enunciating slowly.

 “Saoirse,” he repeated, drawing the syllables out.  “It’s beautiful.  What does it mean?”

 “Freedom.  It’s Irish, or Gaelic, if you like.  My mother was a language scholar, and my father told me Irish-Gaelic was her favorite.”  Several hours later, her smile was still dazzling.

 “And Flynn?  I thought it was a man’s name.”

 “It was her maiden name.  It’s like a connection to her.”  The smile faded a little, and Jonathan felt his heart start to hurt.  “She died when I was young and I’ve been trotting from posting to posting with my father ever since.  Six months here, a year there….  I saw the world, but it’s a hard life for a child.”  She looked down and swirled the dregs of her coffee.  “What about you?”

 “Military school most of my life.  My father was career military, always moving from one base to another.”  He finished the last of his cold coffee, grimacing at its flat tang.  “Like you said, it’s no life for a child.”

 “It really isn’t,” she agreed.  “So now I’m serving as my father’s assistant while he sets up these new off-planet embassies.  It allows me to do research for my thesis.”

 “What are you studying?” he asked.

 “Comparative cultural xenology.  ‘Comparisons of three planetary cultures,’ but I’m in the market for a better title.  I’m going to receive the first Ph.D. in the field.  If I can get the last of my cultural information on Bedlama, that is.  Do you think Governor Xander would be willing to speak with me?”

 Jonathan looked thoughtful.  “He’s been retired for a while, but Xander was always in favor of better understanding and relations between planets.  I’m pretty sure he’d be enthusiastic about it.  Are you using Earth as a baseline?”

 “Yes,” she replied, her expression becoming more animated.  “I did my senior paper on Comparative Western and Eastern Culture, and my Master’s is in Ethnography.  I’m hoping that I can demonstrate that exposure to new cultures will add to the life of the average human, rather than detract from it as some narrow-minded souls seem to believe.”

 “What’s your third planetary culture?” he asked.

 “The Planet of the Mimes.  I got some great information there.  Most of the people were really friendly and outgoing.”

 “Did you talk to the Copper Kidd?”

 “Jax Dynan?  Yes.  He was able to give me a lot of great insight on living in such a culturally different place.  It was all incredibly helpful.”

 “Well, I hope I can be of some small assistance myself.”

 The dazzling smile was back.  “Commander, if you can arrange for me to see Governor Xander, I will be the luckiest woman in Limbo.”

 “I think your luck will hold, Saoirse.”
 
 

 Aurora looked up from her Caesar salad as Bernard came into the dining room.  “Are we it for lunch?” she asked.

 “We are it,” he replied.  “Mr. Landon and the young gentlemen have taken Cronus and Rhea to obedience training.”

 “I hope those crazy dogs haven’t created too much trouble for you, Bernard.  It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now I’m finding steel gray hairs in everything.”

 Bernard collected his own salad and settled in across from her.  “They require very little of me other than to be let out at the appropriate times.  Master Jareth has been very consciences in policing their areas and he has been making sure that Master Vincent participates as well.”

 “We told then they’d lose the dogs if they slacked off.  Seems to be effective.”  Aurora flipped through the pile of mail Bernard had brought to her.  “These need to go to John,” she said, setting a few bills aside.  “I opened accounts at a couple of new places and they don’t know the procedure yet.”  She set aside the boys’ magazines for them and found herself left with two heavy cream envelopes addressed in an unfamiliar had, postmarked from Mojave.  She slit it open with her knife, ignoring Bernard’s disapproving frown, and scanned the contents.

 “Bernard,” she asked after a few moment, “do I know a Saoirse O’Riordan?”

 “Not that I know of, madam.  She may have been an acquaintance you haven’t heard from since college,” he suggested.

 “I don’t know.  I gave you all my address books from Montana after I retired from the UESC.  She would have been in there if I knew her.”

 “Perhaps she is a relative of Ambassador O’Riordan on Bedlama.  What is the occasion?”

 “I’m apparently invited to ‘get to know her.’  I wonder who she’s marrying.”

 “If I may be so bold, madam, the writing on the other envelope appears to be in the same hand,” Bernard pointed out.  “Perhaps you have opened them in the wrong order.”

 “I may have at that,” she allowed, picking up the other letter and opening it.  “Yep.  Here we go.  ‘Ambassador Kevin O’Riordan is proud to announce the engagement of his daughter, Saoirse Flynn to….’”  Her voice trailed off as her eyes scanned the next line.  “Bernard,” she said finally, voice strained, “would you please bring me the phone?”

 He was moving immediately.  “Of course,” he said, handing her the portable phone.

 Clutching it in her trembling hands, Aurora speed-dialed California, hoping to find some answers.
 

 Krysten grabbed the phone on the second ring.  “Merino residence.  This is Krysten.”

 “Krys, it’s Aurora.”

 Her friend’s voice was high and shaky.  “Are you okay, Aurora?”

 “I – I don’t know.  Can I ask you a question?”

 Krysten frowned.  ‘Hesitant’ wasn’t normally a word she would have applied to Aurora unless something was very very wrong.  “Of course,” she replied, making an effort to sound calm and soothing.

 “Have you been in touch with Jonathan lately?”

 “Sure I have.  Though he hasn’t been the greatest correspondent lately.”  Krysten's imagination started spinning through scenarios that would have Aurora asking about Jonathan.  “You’re not trying to tell me something without tell me anything, are you?  You said after Vincent –“

 “No,” Aurora interrupted.  “Nothing like that.  But today I – Do you know a Saoirse O’Riordan?”

 “Well, I haven’t met her personally, if that’s what you mean.  Jon says she’s still finishing her thesis… Shit!”

 Krysten’s rare use of an explicative made Aurora wince.  “What?” she demanded.

 “He swore he would tell you himself, Aurora.  I wouldn’t have kept it to myself otherwise.  But he told me he would call you and lay the whole thing out,” Krys babbled.

 “Who is she?”  Aurora’s voice was, if possible, even more demanding, and Krys took it as a bad sign

 “His fiancée.”

 “I gathered that from the engagement announcement.”  Now she was going cool, an even worse sign.  At her coldest, Aurora would turn cutthroat and vicious.

 “It wasn’t my news to share, Aurora,” Krys began.  “And if you’re taking it this badly from me, how much worse would you have taken it from Jonathan?  It sounds like he’s at least inviting you to be involved in his wedding.”

 “That’s a low blow, Krysten Merino, and you know it,” Aurora grated.

 “I wouldn’t say it to you if it weren’t the truth, and you know that.  Now put your injured pride away and be happy for him.  Every man you’ve walked away from in your life can’t be expected to be left weeping and pining forever, you know.”  Krysten’s rare temper flared hot and bright.  The ongoing drama between Aurora and Jonathan was too old and pathetic to be allowed to drag on much longer.  “If you just can’t stand that he got away, send regrets and stew.  But if you can find it in your heart to be happy for him, then for the love of God, go to whatever you are welcome at and congratulate him.  And you might just find that she’s a nice person and good for him.  I haven’t heard him this happy in a long time.”  Several tense minutes passed, and then she heard Aurora sigh loudly on the other end of the line, and something told her the worst was over.

 “You’re right, you’re right,” Aurora acquiesced.  “I just never expected it to be over.  I thought he would be a splinter in my hide forever.”

 “Only because you keep picking at it,” Krysten told her.  “You never put a bandage on it and let it heal.”

 “Okay, okay.  I’ve already admitted that you’re right.  Can I crash for this ‘getting to know you’ thing?”

 “Sure.  I’ll see you soon, then?”

 “You bet.”
 
 

 Aurora mounted the low steps hesitantly.  She had only been able to convince Krysten and Michael to go without her by claiming that she could under no circumstances arrive without a gift.  And her escape had come with the promise that she would arrive within the hour.

 She could hear noise from inside the apartment; music and voices laughing, and for a moment, she was tempted to turn tail and run, willing to claim anything later.  Maybe they would believe that she had gotten lost.  It wasn’t as if she lived in Mojave.  But she knew well that her time at the Academy would be pointed out.  And damn it, she was the head of an international corporation.  Why should she be afraid to go to a party most likely filled with friends, most of whom she hadn’t seen in years?  Resolutely, she lifted her hand and rapped sharply at the door.

 She was teetering on the edge between knocking again and fleeing when the door opened, and Aurora was faced with quite possibly the last person she wanted to see.  Cursing herself inwardly for thinking she could do this, she plastered on bright smile.

 “Hello, Jonathan.”

 His smile looked slightly better than hers.  “Aurora.  Long time, no see.”

 Not long enough, she thought to herself.  “Well, you know.  I was in the neighborhood and all.”

 “You have quite a large neighborhood, then.  I wasn’t really expecting to see-“  He broke off as a new face appeared from behind him.

 “You must be Aurora,” she exclaimed.  Reaching past Jon, she snagged Aurora by the wrist and hauled her into the house.  “I am so happy to finally meet you.  You and the rest of the team are all Jon can ever talk about.”

 Aurora allowed herself to be led into the house, but she was getting the feeling that it was all a bit surreal.

 Tissue paper streamers hung from the ceiling, and across and arching doorway was draped a banner proclaiming “Congratulations Jon and Saoirse.”  She could hear voices coming from the room beyond, familiar voices, some she hadn’t heard this close since her wedding.  She was still taking it in when her guide pulled her forward again.

 “So, I’m Saoirse.  Come on in and say hi to everyone.”

 Still a little stunned, Aurora wordlessly held out the wrapped package in her hand.

 Saoirse took it with a smile.  “Aren’t you the sweetest thing?  Let me put this over here.  I’m just dying to hear all the stories from when you were all at the station together.”  She set the gift on a narrow table behind the sofa and pulled Aurora further into the room.  “Hey, all.  Look who finally made it.”

 Aurora pasted on a smile and waved.  “Hi, everybody.  Miss me?”
 

 A few hours later, Aurora slipped through a swinging door into the relative calm and quiet of the kitchen.  It was wonderful seeing the team again, but tiring, as well, trying to catch up years in a single afternoon.  Slowly, she picked up a glass from the counter and filled it with ice and water from the refrigerator door.  She sat down at the kitchen table and looked out the window into the carefully tended back yard.

 The door swung open and she looked over.

 “I wondered where you’d gotten to,” Saoirse said, getting her own water and joining Aurora at the table.

 “I hope you don’t mind me wandering around.  It’s great to see everyone, but it’s a little overwhelming, too.”

 “Oh, I know the feeling.  Jon’s been ‘the team this’ and ‘the team that’ for a month now.  I don’t know why you bunch aren’t all myths or something with all that you’ve done.”

 “It couldn’t all be that interesting,” Aurora said dismissively, “and there were plenty of times when nothing happened, and we just sat around staring at each other and the walls and going insane with boredom.”

 “Well, boredom or no, I think it’s great that you all are still friends.  Especially with how hard things became after your father died.”

 Aurora felt as though her ice-water had been poured down her spine.  “Saoirse, how much has Jonathan told you about what happened at the station and…after?”

 “Compared to everything there is to tell?  I don’t know.  But I know about his relationship with Krysten.  I know about Diana.  And I know he loved you once.”

 Aurora stared out the window at nothing.  “Yes,” she said finally.  “He loved me once.”  It wasn’t clear from her tone exactly how she meant it.

 “So what happened?” Saoirse asked.

 Aurora’s gaze snapped back to her, reverie broken.  “Hmm?”

 “What happened?” Saoirse repeated.  “Why didn’t you end up with him?”

 “Hmm.  I loved someone else.  Jonathan was a good friend for a while, and he was there for me during a couple of dark moment, but there was someone I loved more.  Someone I couldn’t let go of.”

 “He said you fought about something.  Fought terribly, bitterly.”

 Aurora nodded.  “We did.  A couple of times, but they were about the same thing in the end.  He wasn’t what I needed, and I couldn’t be what he wanted.  We ended up wounding other people over it before we were done.”

 “Aurora, can I ask you something very serious?”  Aurora nodded, and Saoirse continued.  “Are you going to get between Jon and I?  I know what you meant to him.  I want to know if you expect to be able to snap your fingers and have him running to your side.”

 “I….”  It was on the tip of her tongue to deny it; deny that she had ever felt that way, ever even had an inkling of such a thing.  But it occurred to her now that she had believed exactly that; that he would come when she called, only to be harshly rebuked and sent away, then called back again and expected to respond.  I treated him worse than a mongrel dog begging on the street.  “No,” she said at last.  “I just want him to be happy, and it’s evident that he’s happy with you.”

 Something akin to relief washed across Saoirse’s face.  “Good.  Because I’d fight for him.  I may not have been a cybernetically enhanced soldier on the frontlines against interstellar terrorists, but I’d still fight.”

 Aurora let herself smile.  “Good.  You should fight for him.  I’d fight for Steven, and he’s fought for me, more than once.”

 “So you know how it is, then.  How it feels to care for someone this much.  If I thought you would be better for him, I’d not bother, but you said it yourself.  You can’t be what he wants.”

 “No.  I can’t, and I’m happy with my life where it is now.  If you want my blessing, you have it whole-heartedly.”

 “I’ll take it,” Saoirse replied with a smile.  “Can I ask you a really big favor, in light of our new understanding?”

 “Do you want me to be regrettably out of the country when the wedding rolls around?”  Aurora asked with a tight smile.  It would hurt if she wasn’t wanted, but it was no more than she’d done to Jonathan.

 “No, no.  God, no.  I….  Well, the truth is, I grew up all over the world, all over the galaxy, really, so I never made any real friends.  And John and I are getting married here, we figure, because this is where he’s stationed right now.  But I really don’t know anyone here, and there’s no one really I’d want to come this far…”  She noticed the puzzled look on Aurora’s face.  “I’m not really making any sense, am I?”

 “Not yet, but I continue to believe It’s going to come together soon.”

 “Would you stand up with me at the wedding?  You and Krys and Emily?  You’re Jon’s closest female friends, and his nieces and nephew aren’t going to be able to get leave when the wedding rolls around.  Emily and Krys said they would already, but it would mean a lot to me if you would, too.”

 “I…”  She was floored again.  “Have you talked to Jonathan about this?  Saoirse, I didn’t invite him to my wedding.  He may still be feeling...slighted over that.  He might not be comfortable with me being involved to that degree in his wedding.”

 Saoirse reached out, placing a cool hand over Aurora’s.  “He and I talked about it.  He wants to let go of the past.  He wants to move on, but he’s afraid that you still feel angry about all the old arguments  He said the last time you saw each other, not everything was resolved.”

 “He’s right.  It wasn’t.  I left before we could really wrap things up.”  Aurora smiled sadly.  “That’s what I do.  I walk away when it gets hard.”  She looked from the tabletop to Saoirse.  “And I confide in complete strangers, it seems.”

 “Aurora, he wants you to do this.  He’s just afraid you’ll say no, and that might be too much for him to take.  It’s like his last chance, this request.  He’s afraid it will never be right between you.”

 The words were so much like her own; that it would never be over between them, never go away.  She put her hand over Saoirse’s.  “You’ve sold me.  Tell him I’m in.  I’m honored to be asked.”

 “Will you tell him for yourself?  It would mean a lot, coming from you.”

 “You’re one tough negotiator.  I remember your father being the same way.”  Aurora sighed.  “I’ll tell him.”  She stood up slowly.  “If you ever want a job, Krysten has my number.  I’d have you on my corporate team in a second.”

 “It’s not my field.”

 “Doesn’t matter.  You have the instincts.”  She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, strengthening her resolve.  “So where is he?  Might as well go and do this before I lose my nerve.”

 “Out back, I think.  I haven’t seen him with the others for a bit.  I was kind of looking for him too when I found you.”

 “Okay.”  She went over to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers.  “Do you mind terribly if I presume?”  she asked, lifting the bottles.

 “Not at all.  Whatever works.  I’d better get back to the others, try to keep them for getting to curious and see you and Jon talking.  Probably give them quite a case of the willies.”

 “As often as Jonathan and I have circled around each other, it might give them a mass-complex.  I’ll be a quick as I can.”

 “Thanks.”  Saoirse stood up to leave.  “This really means a lot to me, Aurora.  I’m so glad you agreed.”

 “You’re welcome.  I’ll see you in a bit.”
 

 Jonathan didn’t turn around as the back door closed behind him.  Light footsteps crossed the porch, and a cold bottle of beer descended into view, then dropped into his hand.  He smiled.  Saoirse was thoughtful like that, anticipating anything he might want.  “Thanks, hon.  It was getting a little weird in there.”

 “You’re welcome.  Weird how?”

 He whirled to see Aurora leaning against the rail next to him.  She popped the top from her own beer, then handed him the opener.  He accepted it and opened his beer without thinking.  “I’m…I’m sorry.  I thought you were Saoirse.  I didn’t look-“

 “Relax.  No offense taken,” she assured him.  “So what’s weird in there?”

 “It…I…  Don’t worry about it.”

 She nodded.  “Meaning I’m what’s weird and you’re just being nice.  You really didn’t expect me to be here, did you?  That was pretty clear when you saw me.”

 “Aurora, I….  Okay.  You’re right.  I didn’t expect you to come.  I didn’t realize Saoirse had sent the invitation until later, and I really thought you would just ignore it or something.  Or I hoped you would.  I felt like a coward.  I should have told you sooner, but I couldn’t find the right words.”

 She nodded again.  “Well, I know that feeling.  And it never seems to work, either.”  She took a pull of her beer.  “So I talked to Saoirse.”

 “Oh?”

 “Yeah.  I like her.  She’s nice.  She seems to be just what you need.  And she’s not the type to take crap.  I can tell.”

 “Really?  And how do you know that?”

 “Like I said, we talked.  She offered to take me apart if I tried to get between you two.  It was moving.”  She moved around to sit on the other side of the steps, next to him.  “I thought we could talk, Jonathan.  I thought we’d gotten to the point where you could tell me things, ask me things.  I know I’ve been a bitch in the past.  I thought it was better now.”

 “I thought that night meant something to you.”

 “Does it matter anymore whether it did or not?”

 “No.  Not now.  Not anymore.  I was always wondering with you, whether or not you cared about me.  I don’t wonder if Saoirse cares.  I know she loves me.  I don’t lie awake at night thinking about it, trying to decide if a touch or a smile meant something.”

 “Then she’s the right one.  And Jonathan, I told her yes.”

 “I wanted to ask, but…”

 “But you were afraid I’d say no.  I’ve said ‘no’ to you too many times.  Now it’s yes.”  She squeezed his shoulder, then stood up.  “I’ll see you inside?”

 “Yeah.  Thanks, Aurora.”

 “No problem.  I’m glad to do it.”
 
 

 Steven looked up from his paperwork as Aurora slipped through the office door.  He’d heard Bernard greet her at the front door, and would have gone to welcome her himself if the project he was working on hadn’t been so critical or so close to completion.

 “Hey there, Beautiful.  Have a seat.  I’m almost through this mess.”

 She dropped heavily into a leather wing chair, curling her feet up underneath her and dragging an afghan over her lap.  “Hi,” she replied listlessly.

 “You sound tired,” Steven noted.  “How was your party?  I’m sorry I couldn’t get away to go with you.”

 “I think it’s almost better that you couldn’t.  It was surreal, seeing him with another woman.  He looked very happy.”  She shifted, trying to get more comfortable in the chair.  “Saoirse asked me if I expected him to come running when I snap my fingers.”

 “Do you?”

 “Not now.  But I used to.  Steven, I was horrible to him.  ‘Come, go, I like you, I hate you.’  It’s no wonder he wound up disgusted with me.  I’m a little disgusted with myself.”

 Steven closed up the file he was working on.  “Was it ever your intention to hurt him for the fun of it?”

 “No, but I certainly did it when I thought he had done something to hurt me.  I never stopped to think then that he could be in pain from something I’d done unintentionally.”

 “You’re going to have to make your peace with it by the wedding.”

 “Sooner than that, I think.  I let myself be talked into being a bridesmaid for this fiasco.”

 Steven laughed.  “Pink taffeta sounds like an adequate punishment.  Especially if it has one of those huge skirts.”  He laughed wickedly at the image.  “That sounds just about perfect.  A Pepto-Bismol chorus line with you right in the middle.”

 “Oh, I hope not.  I should volunteer you for an usher, but there’s nothing bad enough they could do to a uniform.  At any rate, I have to more or less set up base camp there for a couple of weeks to make sure everything’s on track.  Krysten is handling everything til then.”

 “Quite a project to undertake for someone you don’t know that well,” Steven observed.

 “When she asked, I just couldn’t say no.  It seemed so petty, to let my discomfort overshadow her moment.”

 “Her moment?” he repeated.  “Don’t you mean their moment?”

 “I suppose I do.  Do you mind terribly?  I can’t take the boys with me and hope to get anything done, unless Adryanna comes with me.  Can you manage without us that long?”

 “Better than in the past, I suspect.  Call me every night?”

 She laughed.  “I’m not going tomorrow, Steven.  The wedding isn’t until the end of August.  He’s going to take a teaching position at the Academy starting with the next session.”  She sighed.

 “Are you sorry you weren’t the one he could give it all up for?”

 She chewed her lip in thought.  “No, not really.  He’s almost 41.  Very few people can take that kind of life for very long.  He didn’t have his kids first, like my father did.  I’m just glad he’s found someone to love as much as she loves him.”  She nodded to herself.  “I think they’ll do very well together.”
 
 

 “I think I’m having second thoughts.”

 Saoirse looked up from her checklist.  “About what, dear?”

 “The wedding.  The wedding party, actually.  I’m not sure if having Aurora involved is such a good idea.”

 Saoirse stood up from the table and went to sit next to him on the sofa.  “What about it is bothering you?”

 “I just…I don’t know if I can deal with it.  It’s so hard to see her sometimes.”

 A trickle of cold fear crept up Saoirse’s spine.  “What aren’t you telling me, Jonathan?  There’s something more between you than an old crush.”  Her eyes hardened like green agates.  “Did you lie to me about what happened at the station?  You told me you had an attack of poor judgment in that affair with Krysten.  Did you have another tryst out there you failed to mention?”

 “It wasn’t on the station,” he said at last.  “It was later, after she left the station.”

 Saoirse sat back from him.  “Tell me.”

 “What?”

 “You’ve kept this from me, Jonathan.  You’ve told me every other skeleton in your closet but this one.  I need to hear it.”

 “And then you can decide if you’ll leave me?”

 “No.  Then I’ll know I can stay.  Because I will have faced the worst thing your past could throw at me.  But I don’t know if I can stay if you don’t tell me.”

 “I slept with her,” he admitted grudgingly.

 “I guessed as much,” she reminded him.  “I want to know how it happened.”

 “I was on Earth for a conference at the Academy, and she was visiting Mike and Krysten.  It just kind of happened.  No one planned it.”

 “Just stumbled into bed together.  I see.”

 “No, you don’t see.  She’d had a fight with her husband and left him.  We talked about the past, and I asked her if things could have been different.  I thought she’d intended to stay, but she went back to him.  And after…”

 “After?” she prompted.

 “She sent me a letter, telling me to forget about her.  I felt like dirt; like nothing.  She was trying to be kind, and all I could do was sit there and feel like my heart was breaking again.”

 “Because she loved her husband and couldn’t leave him?”

 “Something like that.  I just…I’d always hoped for more.”

 She reached out, taking his hand.  “You have more, Jon.  You’re just looking in the wrong place.”

 He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.  “I have, haven’t I?  But if I hadn’t been mourning for something I couldn’t have, would we even have met?”

 “Some people belong together, Jon.  It would have happened, one way or another.”  She settled her head against his shoulder.  “So is that what makes it hard for you to see Aurora?  That you had this thing between you and she left?”

 “Partly.  And she seems to be able to go after all my weak points.  We were all good at knowing just how to hurt each other; you can’t help but know people’s weaknesses when your lives are so closely intertwined.  But she’s some kind of champion at it, or it seemed that way.  Maybe I made it easy for her.  Maybe I handed her my heart so she could step on it.”

 “I don’t think it was ever her intention to hurt you, Jon.  She didn’t seem like the type to enjoy another person’s pain.  But I think there are still things you have to wrap up between you.  She said it’s in her nature to walk away when things get hard, and it’s in your nature to push people away when you’re hurt.”

 Jonathan sighed,  “So she and I were doomed from the start, you think?”

 “Would you want it any differently now?”

 He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  “No.  I told Aurora at the party, but the person I should have told was you.  I have never doubted for a minute how you feel about me.  I’ve never wondered for a moment what you wanted, and I want the same thing.”

 She turned, kissing his cheek.  “I’m off to bed.  Don’t sit up too late thinking,”  With that she stood and headed for the bedroom, leaving him to his contemplation.
 
 

 Aurora put the last bobby-pin into her hair and turned in front of the mirror to check the over-all effect.  Her dress was a deep blue satin, sleeveless, with matching blue lace overlaying the empire-waist bodice.  The silk-flowered headdress nearly disappeared into her dark hair, but it shone against Emily’s blonde locks.  She looked at her gloves, then decided to wait until she had finished helping Saoirse dress to don them.

 “How are we doing?” she asked, joining the others.

 “I have my mother’s old veil, and my dress is new.  I picked up that blue garter, so that’s covered, but I hadn’t thought much about what to borrow.”  She chuckled nervously.  “Fine time to think about it, isn’t it?”

 “I thought about it,” Krysten said.  She reached into her bag, pulling out a bracelet made up of several strands of pearls and gold bars.  “My mother gave me this  after Michael and I were married.  I’d be glad to let you borrow it.”

 Saoirse hugged the other woman impulsively.  “Thank you.  I’m honored to borrow it.  The loan is supposed to be from a woman with a happy marriage, that some of the happiness comes with it.  I hope Jon and I are as happy as you and Michael have been.”

 Together, Emily, Krys and Aurora lifted the ivory gown over Saoirse’s head and settled it on her, pulling the bodice with its colorful Celtic knot-work embroidery into place.  “Are you ready to be buttoned?” Aurora asked from behind her.

 “I think so.  I’m getting nervous.  Do you think he’ll like it?” she asked, smoothing the skirt.

 “He’ll love it,” Emily assured her.  “You look terrific.”

 Saoirse took a deep breath as Aurora finished the last of the buttons.  “Okay.  I guess I’m getting there.  Do we have my shoes?

 “Before you put those on, wait a second.”  She picked up her purse and dug through it.  “Steven has a friend at Lloyd’s in London, and he sent this over when I asked.”  She fished out a small silver coin and offered it to Saoirse.  “I know it’s know a 5 pence.  They don’t use the 6 anymore, but I thought it would do just as well.”

 She took it with a smile.  “Thank you.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to get a real British coin over here.”

 “I was glad to do it.”  They helped Saoirse into her shoes, then worked her gloves on, making sure that the bracelet was secured over it.  Aurora was pulling the veil into place when there was a knock at the door.

 Krysten opened it, and Adryanna stuck her head in.  “Are you about ready in here?”

 Saoirse turned, and Aurora nodded.  “I think we’re as ready as we’re going to get.  You have the flowers out there?”

 “Yes.  The men all have theirs already.  Jonathan’s about climbing the walls.  He keeps muttering that Vegas is nice this time of year.”

 “No, it isn’t,” Krysten laughed.  “It’s ghastly in Las Vegas in August.  It’s ghastly in just about any desert in August.  Tell him we’re ready to start any time.”

 Adryanna looked over to her mother, and Aurora nodded.  “Go tell them, then have Will seat you and close the rear doors.  We’ll be there in just a few minutes.”

 Adryanna closed the door, and Aurora turned back to Saoirse.  “You okay.”

 She smiled tightly.  “Yeah.  Not long now, right?”

 “No.  Not long at all.  It will be over before you know it.”

 “I wanted to thank you.  It means a lot to us both that you’re here, all of you.”

 “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 There was another knock at the door as Aurora slid on the long gloves.  “Are you ready, Saoirse?” her father asked though the closed door.

 She looked around at all of them, then smiled.

 “I’m ready, Daddy.”
 
 

 Aurora watched the couple on the dance floor.  They seemed perfectly at ease with each other, ignoring the world around them, like they had been doing this for years.  She had to smile.  Everything certainly seemed to have worked out for the best.

 “They look great, don’t they?”

 She turned to see Jonathan standing next to her, watching the floor as intently as she had.  Thought there were several couples circling, she knew he was focused on the same pair she had been watching.

 “Yes, they do.  But I never doubted that anything Krysten and Michael did would be done well.  They have that kind of magic about them.  No bargains or compromises.  Just pure true love.”

 “You sound almost jealous,” he marveled.

 “Not jealous.  Not really.  Just…envious.”  Aurora looked around the room.  “Where’s Saoirse?”

 “Dancing with her father.”  As he said it, the song drew to an end and the reception guests applauded politely.

 “Shouldn’t you go join her?  Don’t disgrace her at your reception.  She deserves better.”

 “I know that.  She’s dancing with my Uncle Thomas next.  Condor,” he said in response to her confused look.

 “Condor was my father’s best friend when they were putting the program together,” Aurora offered.

 “I know,” Jon repeated.  He held out a hand to her.  “Dance with me?”

 She hesitated a moment, then took it, letting him lead her out and wrap his other arm around her.  They were dancing close, but not so close that she felt uncomfortable.  Not yet, at least.  Maybe not at all.

 “So why did you do it?” he asked.

 “Do what?”

 “Why did you agree to be in the wedding party?  I never really expected you to accept.”  He spun her gently under his arm, moving her skillfully around the floor.

 “I was so cold to you before my own wedding.  I thought it would be a chance to repair things a little.”  It was the truth, but she didn’t know why she gave it to him.

 “I never meant to hurt you,” he said.  “I never meant to lie.”

 She could sense the finality in his words, the closure bearing down on her.  “So this is good-bye?”

 He nodded.  “This is good-bye.”
 

 Mike found Steven leaning against a wall, watch intently as Aurora and Jonathan danced, seemingly lost in a world of their own.

 “You want me to go cut in?” he asked.  “Might make less of a scene.”

 Steven shook his head.  “No.  It’s not necessary.  She’s saying good-bye.”

 “How can you tell?” Michael asked.

 Steven turned to face him, and Mike was struck by the otherworldliness of his eyes.  Like Steven was some kind of mythical creature choosing to pass as human.  “Ask me again some time if you really want to know.  But let it go for now.  Nothing upsetting will happen here.”

 Michael nodded and stepped away, wondering for a moment who this man he thought was his friend really was.
 

 “I am glad you came,” Jonathan said as the dance continued.  “I wanted to ask you something, but I want as honest answer.”

 “If it is in my power, I’ll give it to you,” she replied.

 “Tell me the truth.  You never really wanted me, did you?”

 She looked down and away, denying him her eyes, and he tilted her face back up to his.  “Tell me,” he insisted.

 “I thought…I thought I could bring myself to it, eventually.  But there was always something in the way; something that kept it from happening.”

 “Steven or you?”

 She sighed.  “Me.  Because I could never let go of him.  But it was my choice to hold on like that.”

 “I was jealous of a corpse for so long, because he had a part of you I could never touch.  Before you left.  After you came back.  I wouldn’t listen when you said to stop trying.  I wasted so much time.”

 “I know,” she said simply.

 “So now what?”

 “You said it already.  This is good-bye.”  She could see Saoirse looking at them, her expression puzzled, and realized the music had stopped, and that they were dancing to some beat only they could hear.  Slowly she stopped and lowered her arms.  She unbuttoned the musketeer of her glove and slid a finger in, retrieving something she’d hidden there earlier.  She pressed the bit of warm metal into Jonathan’s slack hand and closed his fingers around it, then raised herself up on tip-toe and chastely kissed his cheek.

 “Go on,” she said, taking a step back.  “It’s time for this to be over.”

 “Thank you.”

 She smiled gently.  “You’re welcome.”

 He stepped away, then turned and crossed the dance floor back to Saoirse, and Aurora stayed where she had been, watching.  She felt the air stir around her, and her skin prickled as a familiar presence joined her.  Without looking, she knew it was Steven.  His arm went around her, and she leaned into his embrace.

 “Hurts?”

 “Just a little.  An old wound, finally healed.  You get so used to the pain that you mourn its absence.”

 “Are you sorry?”

 “No.  She’s the best thing that could ever happen to him.”  She turned more into his body, its familiar press a comfort.  “Dance with me?”

 “As my Lady wished, so shall it be.”  He took her into his arms and they moved together as the music started again.

*THE END*

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