Author's note: The idea of the 'obstacle course' at the Academy is not my original concept--I'm not sure who thought of it first, but I just wanted to make that clear. I'm not in the business of lifting anything from anyone..not without giving it proper credit, anyway...
(c)Copyright 1998 Melissa McCook Melody Silver/Golden Eighth Note Ltd. TRANSFORMERS™ AND ALL RELATED CHARACTERS ARE PROPERTY OF HASBRO, INC. USED WITHOUT PERMISSON. THIS STORY IS NOT FOR SALE OR PUBLICATION AND IS NOT MEANT TO CONSTITUTE A VIOLATION OF COPYRIGHTS OR AN ACT OF PLAGARISM.
...I see the smoke of the revolution
In the battle between you and I...
--Neal Schon
*IN THE DISTANT PAST*
I saw her walking down the steps of the Command Center, and as soon as her gaze met mine, I could see she knew that I knew. A sick feeling landed in the pit of my gut, the hot acid feeling of betrayal burning me inside. _Why?_ I wanted to scream at her, _Why did you do this?_ Her blue optics were frozen, her expression dead and blank as she walked toward me. I tensed, unsure whether I should walk away or speak to her. It was too late to walk away, for now she was standing in front of me before I had a chance to move, trapping me. Whatever we had to say, it would get said right here, right now.
"Kup, I--"
"Don't." Primus, she was beautiful. I had known her for over 10,000 vorns, and each time I saw her, she only seemed to become more graceful, more alive. I thought of all the times we had fought together, side by side as a team, fighting for the things we believed in, the planet we called home, the people we loved. Now, as I watched her face change like the squall of an energy storm, I saw each of those images explode into dust. All because of the words of a fanatic, a crazy dissident bent on the destruction of everthing we had ever fought for. She, naturally, didn't see it that way; it was if she had been brainwashed overnight. My anger and frustration must have shown on my face, because she folded her arms defensively over her chestplate, over her Autobot sigil. The very symbol she had betrayed. I wanted to rip her apart.
"Don't try to explain to me what you've done, because there's no explanation worthy of it." I stared down at her, my voice flat and cold. "You've destroyed everything we've worked for. I hate you for that."
She looked back at me without expression. "What we've worked for is a bunch of crock. Kup, you're an intelligent 'Bot, surely you know that. Why waste all this time and energy fighting over this planet when what we should be doing is working to enrich it?" She dropped her arms, and the Autobot symbol gleamed back at me mockingly. I silently hoped it would burst into flames. "Your idea of peace only extends as far as the end of your laser pistol. Mine calls for all Cybertron to awaken from this war and bind together."
My fury was beginning to boil over. "At least my way is honest!" I flung at her. "I don't come slithering into my friends' heads, making false promises. You've lost your taste for battle, that's all it is."
I saw her optics narrow. "Are you calling me a coward?"
"Looks that way, don't it?"
She bristled, her body preparing for a fight. "It takes more courage to reason than to shoot. You're like all the rest, Kup. You kill what you do not understand, and you are the poorer for it." She turned, leaving me a clean shot if I wanted to bring her down, her undefended back nearly begging me to blast a smoking hole in it. "Tell that to your brave young commander. Someday, that mindset will cost him his life." She glanced back over her shoulder, meeting my optics once again, but hers were still cold and blank. "Goodbye, Kup."
I stood rooted to the spot, watching her walk out of my life.
*PRESENT DAY*
_This one is quick,_ I thought to myself, grinning as I gripped my pistol, my audiosensors tuned as finely as they would go. I could barely hear Cobalt Blue creeping above me through the test simulation, slithering on her belly toward the finish line in record time. Her errors had been minimal, and she would make a fine addition to the team getting ready to leave for Earth on the morrow. However, I had one last surprise cooked up for her, and if she succeeded, I would definately recommend her for a rank upgrade. Few new graduates ever made it past my trap, and I changed it often to avoid the other students going back and giving hints.
The panel above me creaked, and I stood slowly. Now I'd let her have it. She'd never see it coming.
Suddenly, a bright flash blinded me, and I felt a tremendous blow to the back of my head as part of the ceiling came down on top of my helmet. It was enough to make my microphones feedback, and I went to one knee, my pistol skittering out of my hand across the floor. I saw Cobalt Blue drop lightly to the floor, tucking into a roll and crouching defensively as she raised one slender arm, leveling her pistol at my forehead. "Bang bang, you're dead." She grinned. "So, did I pass?"
I shook my head to clear it, and she helped me up. "How in the diode-blowin' hell did you know I was there?" She retrieved my pistol for me, and I nodded thanks as she handed it to me grip-first. "You didn't use any radar did you, because someday your nav systems might be knocked out." I always taught my students to fight with their tactile senses--sight, audio, and touch--before relying on their specialized sensors, to enable them to get out of a sticky situation with the bare minimum.
"And cheat? No way. I figured you were probably waiting for me at the end, since I hadn't had any trouble with you in the beginning, so I took a chance and busted out."
I rubbed the back of my helmet, chuckling ruefully. "Busted out and nearly busted my head open, thank you very much." I looked at her, a small femme for her maturity of 500 vorns, her angled plating painted electric blue and silver. She had already been modified to her Earth disguise--a Porsche Boxter convertible--and she was brimming with excitement. Her optics shone a clear, bright blue, and she favored painting her titanium lips a deep, dark red, like most of the young femmes did nowadays. The Autobot sigil gleamed proudly from the center of her curved chestplate, and I had to admit I was very proud of her.
We turned from the test area and headed back to the Command Center. "So, have you met your partner yet?" I asked, and I could see a faint flush suffuse her faceplate. Her emotions were always close to the surface, and her physical body was sometimes at their mercy.
"Yeah, I met him yesterday, when First Aid was putting the finishing touches on me. His name's Quartermile."
"Ah, I see." I paused meaningfully. "Do you like him?"
Cobalt gave me a friendly punch in the shoulder, one of the only femmes to be brave enough to carouse like that with me. She had always been sort of a tomboy, which had made some parts of her training easier. I wondered if time would take away that brashness, and I found myself hoping it would not. "Aw, cut it out, Kup! He's my partner, we're a team. I have to like him."
I shrugged casually. "No you don't, you just have to work with him." I laughed with her, the blush on her face deepening. "You two will get along fine, I know you will. Are you nervous about meeting Prime?"
Cobalt pushed the entry button on the door, and we stepped inside as the glass slid open in front of us. "Yeah, a little, I guess. Who wouldn't be? He's practically a legend in his own time." She walked in silence for a few micro-seconds. "I hope I can be an asset to his command."
This was the first time Cobalt had ever shown doubt about her own abilities, and I looked over at her , the normally laughing face suddenly very serious. She took her job seriously, which made me all the more proud of her. "You will be," I said simply, and she turned to me as we stopped in front of 'Magnus' door, hope shining in her optics.
"Yeah? You think so, Kup?"
I put my hands on her shoulders, smiling. "I know so."
Cobalt's smile quivered, and a single methanol tear seeped from the seam between her left optic and her faceplate. Then she surprised me and put her arms around my waist, giving me a brief, forceful hug. "Thanks, Kup," she murmured. She pulled away and wiped her tears, then touched the hail sensor on 'Magnus' door. "Sir, it's Cobalt Blue," I heard her say, then I turned and continued down the hall.
*ON AN ANCIENT BATTLEFIELD*
"PULL BACK!!" I heard 'Magnus yell close behind me, and I managed to get off two more shots before a red-plated hand grabbed the muzzle of my pistol and yanked me along with the rest of the retreat. I saw Ironhide next to me, his blue optics blazing with battlelust that would not be satisfied today. Energon sparkled from a wound in his shoulder, and he pulled me down with him as we scuttled down from our vantage point.
"Come on, Kup!" he yelled over the din of Decepticon fire. "Let's get the slag outta here!"
I started down the precipice after him, then whirled and scanned the area we had just vacated. "Dia! Ironhide, where's Dia?"
Ironhide glanced at me in surprise, ducking a stray blast. "She was right behind me a second ago, I swear it!"
My energon was like ice in my fuel lines, and I scurried back up the hillside. "We've gotta find her. She can't be too far." I grabbed for handholds on the scarred hillside, my boots leaving paint as they slipped and slid, trying to push myself upward. "DIA!" I yelled, hoping to hear her over the next rise.
A huge explosion crashed into the hillside, and I saw Ironhide go flying past me, limbs akimbo as we sailed through the air. My chin impacted the ground so hard that I blacked out, and when I came to, Optimus Prime was standing above me, a worried frown creasing his young brow.
"Thank the Matrix, Kup. We thought you were dead for sure." Ratchet and First Aid hovered about me, and as much as I wanted to shake them off, my body refused to obey. The blast had knocked out nearly every diagnostic sensor in my system, so I was completely at their mercy as I was hauled back to Iacon, flat on my back.
"Ihh....Ironhide," I managed to wheeze, but Prime pushed me down with a strong, gentle hand on my scarred chestplate.
"He's safe. Just rest now."
I was only too happy to obey my commander's orders, and I let a blessed numbness overtake me as we made our way back to the city.
A few cycles later, I awoke to find myself being watched by a vigilant--but clearly exhausted--First Aid. "Ah, Kup. How do you feel?"
I sat up slowly, feeling my gyrostabilizer begin to right itself again, and my color vision began to come back online. "Better. At least I don't feel like I've been run over by the entire Decepticon fleet, now." My attempt at humor didn't faze the serious mech, so I let my smile fade as he pulled out a diagnostic keypad and ran the sensor over me from head to foot. "Is Ironhide okay?"
"Mhhmmm," First Aid nodded, snapping the keypad shut. "He's fine, and so are you, now. You can get up if you want, but I'd take it easy for a while if I were you."
I leapt off the table, flexing my limbs and running in place for a moment. "Thanks, First Aid. I owe you one."
He sighed, putting away his intstruments with a sad smile. "You and everyone else who gets banged up on a daily basis around here." Chuckling, he turned back to me, hands on hips. "Primus help you all if I ever call those favors due at the same time."
I was about to make one of my usual smart wisecracks, but I stopped cold, remembering..."Dia. Where is she, do you know?" First Aid hesitated, and I gripped his arm hard enough to make him wince. "Tell me."
First Aid sighed, shaking his head. "She's here, and she's alive. She told me she dosen't want to see anyone...especially you."
"Like hell," I growled. "Where is she?"
"Repair Bay 5, just down the hall and to the right. But don't tell her I said anything, alright?"
I was already out the door by the time he finished his sentence.
"Dia?" Repair Bay 5 was dark except for a soft light above the diagnostic berth, and Dia lay in that gentle swath of light, looking like an angel. Her white and aqua plating gleamed like new, and her beauty took my breath away like it had since the day I met her. I walked softly over to her, picking up her hand and twining it in my own. "Dia, it's me, Kup. Look at me, kiddo, come on."
Her optics flickered to life, and she turned her head a few centimetres to look up at me. "Kup...." For a moment, our bond surged between us, but then her blue gaze turned as cold as ice, and she looked away. "Leave me."
I was stunned. "You want me to let you get some rest, kid?" _Please, let it only be fatigue and battlestress._
"No." She shook her head, still unable to look at me. "I want you to leave. As in goodbye. Forever."
"What?" My breath burned in my chest. "What are you saying? Why?"
A single tear shimmered from the seam between her optic and her faceplate. "You're a warrior. I no longer wish to be one, and that means I must distance myself from all who make war." She swallowed painfully. "Please, Kup. Try to understand. Don't make this harder than it already is."
"No! I WON'T understand--"
She whipped her head around to face me, her tears streaming openly now. "Didn't you hear what I said? _Go away._"
I scowled. "This is crazy talk, Dia!" I took her hand in mine again, squeezing it gently. "It's just shellshock, you'll be fine in a few days. I promise." I tried to caress her face, but she jerked her cheek from under my hand. "Everything will be okay, you'll see. Then we'll kick Megatron's tail across the universe together."
Dia sat up, wincing against the pain I knew was still throbbing through her head. "No. This last conflict only proved something I've been feeling for a long time." She looked up at me, trying to make me understand, and I felt cold inside. "I didn't want to tell you because I know how much the Autobot cause means to you."
She had been thinking about this for a long time? Where the Hellas had I been? It dawned on me that I had been off fighting in the Delta Quadrant for the past vorn and a half, trying to secure the fragile succession of the Prime that had fallen on the young shoulders of an Autobot named Optimus. We had returned successful, Optimus having proven to all that he was a capable Prime, but where we had gained a leader, I had lost my best friend in the universe. My core felt torn in half, and I knew she was right. I could not be loyal to her and Prime both, but even she knew that I could never turn my back on Optimus now. I opened my mouth to say something, but I shut it again. What else was there to say?
It was only later that I discovered that Dia had been at a Decepticon rally, listening to the fevered ideas of a young 'Con named Megatron, he and his best friend Starscream trying to incite unrest amongst the neutrals remaining in Iacon. Then came the ultimate betrayal--I found out that Dia had made a deal with the Decepticons, promising to recruit as many as she could for the cause of false peace and civic improvement Megatron was preaching. The 'Con mentality had always been 'peace through tyranny,' but Megatron and his gang of young toughs seemed to prefer backing up their lipservice to this mentality with indiscriminate killing. They were drunken bralwers, high on energon and youth, and one dark night I watched from the shadows as Starscream and his lieutenants ripped through a group of neutrals, laughing all the while. This is what Dia had sold herself to, and I wept for her.
I never saw her again after the day we said goodbye.
*PRESENT DAY*
The sky over Autobot City was a brilliant blue, and pennants and banners emblazoned with the Autobot sigil fluttered from every roof and tower. Today was the day Optimus had chosen to commemmorate the crashlanding on Earth some four million years before, and we were all determined to make it into a day of celebration. Our relationship with the humans had proved invaluable, and those of us who sat on Prime's advisory cabinet thought it would be a good image builder if we showed our gratitude to the Earthlings. Today was also Cobalt Blue and Quartermile's first day on Earth, and both were nearly frantic with excitement.
I caught Cobey's optic as she stood to the left of a makeshift podium, her blaster drawn as an honor guard to Prime, who was just winding up a brief speech of welcome. A considerable crowd of humans and 'Bots had gathered, giving the whole place an air of festivity that wasn't usually seen in Metroplex. Cobey, though she was trying to be serious, saw me looking at her and grinned widely.
"And now," Prime was saying, his bass rumble rolling along the green foothills, "I would like to present to you an Autobot who really has distinguished himself on the battlefield as many times as he tells everyone he has." A chuckle rippled through the crowd, and I laughed too--until Prime's optics met my own. "Security Chief Kup, would you stand beside me, please?"
I wanted to melt back into the crowd--which would be impossible, given the fact that I was twenty feet tall. Amongst a round of applause, I climbed the steps to the podium and stood next to my commanding officer. Prime was no longer the young leader whose accession I had helped secure so many vorns ago, but I still felt the same devotion toward him. Hellas, it was probably stronger than ever now, having watched him grow into his inheritance.
"For loyal service, unshakable duty, and damned good war stories--The Autobots and I present you with this." Prime held out a flat, grey case, and I opened it to reveal a heavy glass disk, cut with an Autobot symbol. "The Crystal Sigil--our highest honor for our most loyal soldier." He clasped my shoulder, a smile evident in his voice, even though I could not see past the battlemask. "We owe you a debt of gratitude, Kup."
I was shocked into silence as I looked down at the case in my hand, words escaping me. When I finally raised my head to speak, I noticed an otherwordly quiet had fallen over those assembled. They were expecting me to say something brilliant, something wise and sagely--but I could not. My only thought was of Dia, seeing her as she walked out of my life forever. I closed the lid of the case, gripping it in my hand--for a crazy moment, I thought of shattering the crystal disk, but that would mean a great disrespect for me as well as Prime and my comrades. Instead, I stepped to the podium and began to speak.
"War is hell. Don't let anyone tell you different." I paused, seeing Spike and Carly Witwicky exchange shocked glances over their son Daniel's head. "I did what I had to do to stay alive, and to keep everyone else from getting their butts slagged." The harsh language I was using probably didn't sit well with those who were expecting some nugget of wisdom, but I didn't care right at this second. "I will say this; I have always been true to myself, and my own convictions. This symbol--" I pointed to the scarred emblem on my chest--"means freedom to me. It means compassion. Loyalty. Trust. Of course, all that stuff sounds real pretty up here, but means a hill of slag when your skidplate is being napalmed by some 'Con." I shook my head. "I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I just wanted you all to remember that this isn't all about medals and celebration. Most of you don't need to be reminded, though, so I'll just shut up now."
I turned away from the podium then, but Prime caught my arm before I walked down the steps. "Kup, I--" He hesitated, dropping his hands. " Dia would have been proud."
The Crystal Sigil shimmered in my hand as I opened the case again. "Yeah."
On a high, grassy plain above Autobot City, I braked to a stop and transformed, the Sigil clutched in my hand as I walked along a little-used path. The wind was whipping around me like invisible fingers, the grass at my feet waving like a green sea. Up ahead on the path was a block of polished stone, with an Autobot symbol carved in bas-relief and painted in scarlet. I had hewed the stone out of the mountainside near the first Ark, then spent many Earth months scraping away layer after layer of rock to make the sigil. Then I had carried it to this windswept bluff, and mourned for Dia as I had not when she left. Now the grief was but a dull ache in my chest, and my fingers traced the Cybertronian hieroglyph that spelled her name.
"Look what I got, kiddo," I murmured, laying the Crystal Sigil on a patch of earth at the base of the stone. "Guess you really hate me now." I chuckled softly, looking up into a sky that was exactly the shade of her optics.
*THE END*